In No More Mr. Nice Guy!, he presents a guide to creating a healthy and satisfying life. Dr. Glover believes there are men who suffer what he calls the "Nice Guy Syndrome". These men listen, offer advice, and jump at the chance to help. But no matter how hard they try to please others, their own lives are incomplete.
Here Dr. Glover offers guidance on how to take back control. He suggests ways to achieve fulfillment in emotional, physical, and professional relationships. By redefining his priorities, any man can create the life he always wanted.
©2000, 2003 Robert Glover; (P)2004 Recorded Books, LLC.
Private intellectual, writer, and retired academic. Currently R&D director for Gravitational Systems Engineering, Inc.
A very adult look at what I have been doing wrong in my life. A lot of new information, and some very fresh perspectives. It's funny, I'm not a typical nice guy. I'm strong, successful and have had a life of successful relationships. But, I still find that the women in my life are not carrying their weight especially in the bedroom. This book helped me to realize that many of my methods are flawed with unhelpful pride and crushing shame.
I would hope that there is a similar book written for women. But this book is an often uncomfortable but important read.
This is an excellent book on trying and just doing it without trying to be perfect all the time. Also the advice to team work is important and is suggested. But the most important is how to confront one's fear of failure, asking others for help and asking ones need to be met.
He found the book and I read it. He said he expected to turn the book over and find his picture on the back of it. I read it and expected to see his picture on the back of it, too. It explained a lot of the conflict and explained a lot of how I fed, and feed, into the troubles in our relationship.
The book is written for nice guys but believe me, nice guys aren't all that nice. The hard copy is needed for the written exercises but the audible is great for refreshers. I'm constantly re-reading it and he's got his own copy.
Honest, Accurate and Revealing
The power of vulnerability by Brene Brown. I mean in a way they bother speak to the crippling power of being scarred by shame and vulnerability. Not having your needs met as a child and the way you are made to over compensate as an adult.
The must important and revealing thing for me is that.. I am not alone and many people feel the same vulnerability I do and secondly I am good enough.
When I read the part that said " Nice guys were bottom feeders" it literally drove a spike in my heart.. I mean after all the years of running to make everyone happy....feeling noble feeling like a hero and actually its was just that ..I was bottom feeding...living on scraps..taking what ever i could get... and being happy with it. Sometimes when the truth is that brutal you are forced to blink.
This book could have been titled 'How To Get Past Dysfunction and Live Life'. The author explains how dysfunction, small or large, in your life creates skewed perceptions. He explains how to get past these issues without having to dig up too many. He informs that it is okay to be a male, to have needs, and how to go about satisfying and meeting those needs. And, how important it is to satisfy those needs. All this done while being an integrated and responsible man. When he says 'no more mr. nice guy', he means no more whining and manipulation. He means direct effort with clarity for what it is that you truly desire, including sex, career, hobbies, vacation, etc. Excellent book.
I've listened to this book 4 times. It was tough to hear the first time, because so much rang true, but it's really helping me see my actions in a way that helps me change them to get what I want. Thank you Dr. Glover.
This is a self help book but, it really might be useful anyway. Being a nice guy does not appear to work in most relationships long term so this book may help one clearly see that trying harder will not help. Offers insights such as most men have been taught and reared by women nearly exclusively and this is not natural. Most importantly this book offers actual suggestions of what men could do differently to change their doormat persona.
This book as a good amount of information that is pretty accurate. It will certainly make you think and help you understand yourself a bit more. I have met the author and he presents the material better in person than the book.
Now the bad aspect of this audio book is that there is very little (and almost none) exercises for learning to improve yourself. I was listening to the book getting very frustrated that it was all information and no ideas on how to work on improving. Toward the end of the book there was a section that I thought would start giving ideas for exercises, but nothing really substantial. Really pretty disappointing in this respect.
My suggestion is that you buy the physical book that does have exercises at the end of each chapter.
It was like a fog was lifted off of my brain. I could see that there is hope for me. I am going through a divorce and realize my contribution to the breakup does not have me wanting for answers. I see how my behavior and upbringing have made me successful and yet feel unsuccessful. I am going back to counseling and will continue to read the book. The journey has just begun. I think I have found the way to be a healthy male and contribute to society again.
Terrifyingly accurate and enlightening. I am looking forward to listening again and working through the exercises presented with a group of friends.
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