Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As an RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her 20 years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. No Bad Kids is a collection of Janet's most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. No Bad Kids provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children's eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.
©2014 Janet Lansbury (P)2014 Janet Lansbury
this was a great book. it contradicts many other books I read but it has helped me with realizing I shouldn't lose my cool with my daughter. the only complaint I have is that it was too short lol
This book is so wonderful for me, as a parent of an 18 month old. Love the principles and I've seen positive results to the application. She doesn't just talk method, she shares specific examples, which I find invaluable. Highly recommended!
As a mother of an adult child, as well as a toddler, I have to say that there were a lot of useful hints as to how to handle frustrating situations. However, I feel her style fosters an unhealthy view of authority for children when it comes to parents. While children should never fear being hurt by their parents, they should have a sense of what respectful boundaries are. You don't blame yourself for your child hitting someone after you've told him that it's not acceptable behavior and clearly stated a consequence if the action is repeated. Otherwise, I feel, this sends a message to the child that their negative actions are your fault not theirs. This is where the sense of entitlement is fostered. "Nothing is my fault, it is someone else's. Therefore, I don't deserve to be held responsible." It is the bigger messages we are portraying for children that matter in their adulthood, not smaller situational messages that could lead to coping issue later on in life. I'm no expert but my older son is respectful, sensitive, responsible, empathetic, confident, and hardworking. He is many things most adults aspire to be, including myself. He is a product of many factors but never did I once not hold him accountable for his actions, even in toddler hood. Was he spanked? Once. Does he remember it? YES. Is he scarred? NO. He is a well adjusted, non aggressive person. He looks for reasons not to fight or use force even though he studies martial arts and is built like a brick wall. He is not perfect, but he is someone I'm very proud of. I intend to keep my parenting style in hopes that my toddler will be similar to his older brother.
Maybe I'll write a book someday :)
I'll stick to fiction now.
She did well for the material.
I think I said what I needed to.
Amazing! Such good information and examples. Made a huge difference in my kids. Want to share with every mom! Also read whole brained child which was helpful showing how these applications positivity effect the brain.
this book is amazing and has changed my life. It's changed the way I parent and the way I co-exist in this world. I recommend anyone reads this and applies the tools that RIE uses.
This book is an invaluable resource for parents. We have an especially strong willed child and nothing except for RIE principles have worked for her.
"A must read for all parents and carriers of toddlers"
A well written and read book that is to the point with clear examples. Buy this book before you buy any other.
"A poorly assembled collection of blog posts"
The core thesis of this book can be summarised as: accord your child's feelings, opinions, needs and wants with the same respect you would give any other persons. This is a compelling proposition, I've read the primary research that substantiates it and, because my initial, uninformed opinion was more "authoritarian", I've seen the happy, emotionally mature and thoughtful children its progressive adoption has created in my own family.
So the idea behind this book is good. But the book itself is terrible and best described as a "listicle of listicles". As the introduction notes, the content is mostly sourced from the author's blog posts and it shows in the low quality book that results.
Consisting of about 30-35k words, the book is divided into 35 short chapters. Whilst these are loosely grouped into themes it's hard to find an arc to the book. Certainly none is articulated. What's more, most of the individual articles are themselves nothing more than lists. Whether it's inability, lack of effort or a genuine, unarticulated impossibility, the author has not attempted to synthesise any overall conclusions or connect chapter to chapter. The resulting text is, quite literally, a list of lists:
"Chapter 1. First, XXX. Second, YYY. Third, ZZZ. Etc"
Some of the more interesting content are the letters from parents with the author's response. Whilst the responses almost always devolve to a list, prefaced with "Dear" and suffixed with "Warmly", the case example provided by the initiating letter provide context to an otherwise platitudinous flow of words.
And this is the deeper problem. Whilst I agree with the author's mindset and perspective, an agreement based on my own independent reading of the research, she presents no research or arguments for why her view is right. An endless sequence of platitudes and appeals to the authority of someone else who says the same thing is no more convincing than Gina Ford's (antithetical) arguments for scheduling and authoritarian discipline.
To summarise: A book is much more than a collection of chapters. An argument is much more than an assertion. Other books ("Raising Boys" and "Raising Girls" come to mind) put this poor effort to shame.
Brilliant advice with real life examples and steps to follow. All resonate with every parent in the world. Thank you!
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