John Gottman is a leading research scientist on marriage and family. He has written 37 books and is the co-founder of the Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. He is greatly sought after as an authority on marriage, couples, and parenting, and is known for his humor and clarity. John has appeared on Good Morning America and Oprah, and is renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, involving the study of emotions, physiology, and communication.
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I bought this book after a huge row with my wife. I wish I'd bought it earlier. It would have saved me a lot of trouble. This book is practical, challenging, and extremely helpful. It may be short, but it contains essential nuggets of truth that will turn your life the right way up.
I have listened to "Making Marriage Work" several times during my drives to and from work. It's short and relatable. It has helped me to feel hopeful about my relationship when I had been letting myself get bogged down with disappointment and dispair. Working on positive sentiment overload and avoiding the "Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse" have been invaluable tools for me.
This is a short talk filled with information critical to married people, (actually all relationships). If you care about a relationship, avoid the 4 Horsemen Gottman speaks about. Listen to this talk, it's short, informative and critical.
I'll keep it short. This guy is the real deal. You can tell he has worked in this industry for decades. The whole thing is packed full of little pearls of wisdom... all based off of REAL research on REAL people. I felt like I was listening to a "cheat sheet" of answers to marriage's major issues. It's short and that's good because he moves quickly and it never drags. It's one powerful point after another. Each point he makes is dead-on correct too!
Reminds listener of fundamentals in helpful, encouraging way vs a sterile, academic approach of merely transferring information about research.
Allows one to see their self performing well in future situations described.
However, after the introduction the good Dr. speaks entirely uninterrupted. He is dynamic, interesting, funny, and most importantly the information is incredible science based fact. His delivery is also easily digestible, though scientifically based, and entirely helpful. It is also nice to find relationship related guidance that doesn't involve colors, numbers, animals, crystals or any other sewage many "self help" charlatans pass as enlightened living.
It is a good quick review on some principles that can make a big difference in your relationships. Some of it seems like common sense but it really breaks it down to something that is workable because when you are struggling in your marriage, sometimes common sense is not that easily seen.
>> Nothing beats hearing the author read their or book or listen to them dialogue - love that <<
As for content, Dr. Gottman has a way of speaking/communicating/revealing REAL "nuggets of gold" in his manner or presentation. Using validated and replicated research that has spanned over 40 decades, he leaves you astounded by such simple truths that really do make you go "hughm" and nod in agreement. What he advises and shares JUST MAKES SENSE! and the "how to" is SIMPLE, something you can readily/quickly and easily implement! I believe his approach to making relationships work- creating new ones/ repairing old ones and helping reveal new ways to heal and blossom are just so Simple AND GIVE YOU HOPE! The Gottman Method is not rocket science, its do-able and i think so many Loves could be saved and experience new growth, the kind we dream of, by changing some small but pivotal habits / approaches in our relationships.
Do your self a favor and read this EVEN IF YOU HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE, but especially if you are trying to salvage yours, or know of someone who is.... Then go on to download or read his book "the 7 principles for making marriage work" its a fast listen and read and has the guide for the approach to his method....
As Dick Van Dyke said in his book "Keep Moving," "... In the end you realize only 2 things matter: Love and Hope... And in the end only LOVE"
Dr. Gottman's research is a gift of both, and in the world we live in, we need them both desperately.
Yes, I would recommend this to anyone who wants practical ideas for understanding what makes marriages work. My daughter took a class in college that referenced his work a lot, and she had mentioned it to me quite a few times, so I wanted to know more. This book was just the summary I was looking for to see if I wanted to read/listen to more of his books.
This isn't really a story, it is a recorded lecture from the author. It is very concise, but it gives a good overview of some of the main concepts Gottman teaches.
I just wish there were more of these short lectures for a few dollars each. I would totally buy them!
"Must know stuff"
Yes, I think I am going to listen to it a few more times because it has advice obtained scientifically through a lengthy and thorough study. It doesn't give a lot of complicated tips and hints you have to have faith in. It rather tells you what it has been observed to work empirically and you can trust without faith.
It is quite short, so you definitely want to listen in one sitting. Then, listen to it again on a different day.
"Best 46 minutes you will ever spend"
Highly recommended. Clear, concise and a perfect summary of his longer works. It covers what makes relationships work and what ensures they do not succeed. Good introduction to the rest of Gottman's work. Packed with his key ideas in a nutshell. It helps to hear the author himself give this talk. Seems like a nice bloke. I have all his works and have studied his research.
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