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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life | [Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell]

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work.
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Publisher's Summary

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a 10-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

©2002 Byron Kathleen Mitchell; (P)2002 Audio Literature

What the Critics Say

"With warm and nicely chosen interventions with audience members, the authors demonstrate the essentials of accepting realities in others we can't change. It's a hard-charging message, at times relentless, that will shake up any listeners whose lives are held up because of nagging blame or anger toward others." (AudioFile)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (693 )
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  •  
    Heather elizabethton, TN, USA 07-14-04
    Heather elizabethton, TN, USA 07-14-04
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "simply amazing"

    I have been reading "self help" books for many years. This book is by far the best and probably the last I will ever need to read. It is simple and yet profound.

    17 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dirty Jerry san diego, ca 04-21-05
    Dirty Jerry san diego, ca 04-21-05 Member Since 2004

    ...holla.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "True Confessions of a Guru Junkie"

    BUY THIS TITLE. It rocks, it will so change your life if you let it. I am not a nutty new age weirdo, but I do like getting different perspectives on ways to truth. I have books by Deepak Chopra (good), Wayne Dyer (great), Stuart Wilde (good), and of course Byron Katie (awesome.) The beauty of this book is many fold. First, it is non-religious, non-preachy, no-nonsense, and simple. I find that assimilating information like this is easier with an audiobook than a hardcopy and this is especially true of "Loving What Is" because you actually get to hear Katie doing The Work with people on the program (that's the best part, in my opinion.) I have listened to it over and over and over, and each time I get something different out of it to complete the picture. There are moments you want to just laugh and laugh because you see so much of what is said in your own life and your own beliefs.
    This is probably one of the best investments of my life, not to mention my book collection. I highly reccomend it. There are a lot of wackos out there, and some teachers that actually have something but don't know how to communicate it well. Katie has a simple message and she knows how to get it across. Katie is the real thing. I had the privelege of having dinner with her once and she is extremely present, she lives this Work every day and every moment. You will thank yourself for buying this title. I know I do all the time and have encouraged my friends and coworkers to check it out too.

    14 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Elisabeth San Diego, CA, USA 10-05-07
    Elisabeth San Diego, CA, USA 10-05-07
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    "Interesting reality check"

    I found this book a helpful reality check, but at times difficult to listen to. I didn't think it was motivational or inspirational, although I did find that through doing "the work" I was able to let go of some judgmental ideas I had that were causing frustration in my life. What I found difficult was doing "the turn around" in some scenarios. I see in some situations how this is a huge relief, but in other more "moral" situations this not so easy. The bottomline is...accept what is, because there is no other reality. If you can love it, then you're free! It's pretty simple and she shows you how to do it.

    10 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Zahra Los AngelesVirgin Islands, U.S. 10-26-09
    Zahra Los AngelesVirgin Islands, U.S. 10-26-09
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    "AMAZING"

    I have bought all three of her books and have enjoyed listening to them over and over. The audio is so much more powerful than the print format. All I can say is Byron katie changed my life. I highly recommend it to everyone who is suffering from his/her own thinking. It is illuminating!

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Susan Middletown, Maryland, United States 10-08-12
    Susan Middletown, Maryland, United States 10-08-12 Member Since 2010

    Susan Ways

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Some good and some not so good"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I was glad I listened to the book opposed to reading it. I don't think I would have gotten through the book had I read it.


    Would you recommend Loving What Is to your friends? Why or why not?

    Probably not. This book has some good aspects such as turning things around and asking what is true and what isn't, focusing on what we have control over and looking at things from a different perspective. I do think that listeners have to be careful as it may cause some negative self talk as thinking is shifted from self to others. I think this is a good book for people with a strong sense of self and has some good tools but I think it can be a dangerous book for those with lower self esteem.
    My favorite part of this book, which I have discussed with others is paying attention to what is our business, others business and God's business. It is always helpful to remind ourselves which business we are trying to control.
    In my job, I have asked people who come to me if what they are feeling is true and how do they know it is true.
    There are some really good pieces to this book, but overall I wasn't comfortable with my perception of the messaging. One of my gauges with things is "does this make me feel good" and the exercises did not feel good to me. Not because I didn't want to face the truth but because they took me back to a place that I have worked hard to move out of.
    This wasn't a fit for me and I would only recommend it if I felt it was a fit for another person.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell ?

    Perhaps


    Did Loving What Is inspire you to do anything?

    It did inspire me to look at things differently. I have done a lot of self work and have to be careful not to "blame" myself for things or take ownership of other people's behavior. I felt this book was pushing me back into that place that I have worked so hard to move beyond so I had to read it with caution and pull out what I thought was beneficial. What she is discussing in this book has some wonderful thought provoking value and people who lack self awareness or accountability would benefit from reading this book.


    Any additional comments?

    Any book that inspires and gives the reader tools to be a better person is a great book. These self help books all depend on the frame of mind of the reader. If taking accountability or not understanding other people in your life or their actions, then this book may be helpful.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mijin Seoul, Korea (South) 02-08-12
    Mijin Seoul, Korea (South) 02-08-12 Member Since 2010
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    "So Powerful!"

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!
    I have just finished the first CD out of 6, and I am already writing the review.
    This book, her message, and the dialogue are absolutely powerful.
    This will make you think, this will make you laugh, this will make you feel emotional, and this will definately change the way you think about what is.

    I highly and strogly recommend it.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sharalyn Fairfield, IA, United States 12-13-08
    Sharalyn Fairfield, IA, United States 12-13-08 Member Since 2007

    I have an undergraduate degree in philosophy and a Master's Degree in Professional Writing from Maharishi University of Management, am author of THE RELUCTANT VEGETARIAN COOKBOOK, and am an avid reader/listener.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "You can't argue with this!"

    I loved this audiobook even better than the hardback because we can actually hear the emotions as each of those consulting Katie begin in pain and end in laughter as she walks them through the four steps and a turnaround. The logic is easy to follow but I can imagine some listeners not getting how it's done right away (I didn't) but as a friend told me, if one listens to it several times, it gradually begins to sink in that our pain is our own creation and how to apply the steps to our own lives. In the end, who can argue with reality? I found all the stories, including Katie's, to be fascinating, and thought the book was well-structured, the audio clear and concise, and still interesting even on my 4th listen.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christopher Mercer Island, WA, USA 12-21-04
    Christopher Mercer Island, WA, USA 12-21-04
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    "changed my life"

    I've been listening to this audiobook almost everyday for a month now. The lessons didn't get to me until the 2nd week. I would usually listen to it while I'm doing something. What it does is not help you solve the things that are bothering you. But to look at it with understanding and appreciation. Once you've gotten this, your relationship with other people, with the world and most of all with yourself changes.

    And unlike other self-help books that ask you to work on yourself, this one asks you to just realize the thoughts--thoughts that give you stress. Once you're aware of these thoughts, you will be able to accept them, like friends that have come to pass by. More importantly, this book gives you a method to realize these thoughts that Katie calls 'The Work'.

    I'm just a beginner at using 'The Work', but it already has had profound changes within me. Now, everytime I become stress, I know that doing 'The Work' will allow me to realize why I'm stressed and eventually, become free from the stressing thoughts / beliefs that I have.

    I also like the sample sessions that's included in the book. It includes people with problems on their parents, their children, a cheating spouse, a drug addict child, stock market, depression and child sexual abuse.

    Overall, I'm glad I found this book, because it has changed my life and the way I see things. It has made me realize again that life can be good when we just welcome things--good and bad--and love what is.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Don Houma, LA, USA 04-21-06
    Don Houma, LA, USA 04-21-06
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Katie Helps Clear The Mind"

    Katie, as most of her friends call her, has written this book which is a breath of fresh air in the self-help world. Katie is what she says she is - someone who found a profound but simple method of bringing peace to the mind. Her method of four simple questions is cutting edge. You can hear cognitive relief brought to minds burdoned by their (the mind's) own generation of dischord.

    The book in audible format presents actual Katie interactions with real people doing what Katie describes as "The Work". Quickly, the listener knows Katie is on to something that every person seeks. Amazingly, Katie found this method herself after her own mental pain and life challenge. The listener is instructed how to do "The Work" and benefit from the four simple question's transformative power.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    C S Centerville, UT, USA 04-29-05
    C S Centerville, UT, USA 04-29-05 Member Since 2003
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "I must have for EVERY LIBRARY!"

    The audio program can really help you in YOUR life. She tells us there are only 3 kinds of business 1)Your Business 2)Others Business 3)God's Business - YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS IS ALL THAT IS FOR YOU! You can help disect what is for you and BE AWARE! Simple and easy, my wife and I listened to this one together and IT WAS MAGIC!!!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 53 results PREVIOUS126NEXT
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  • Margaret
    Leeds, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom
    2/21/09
    Overall
    "This book has changed my life"

    I can't recommend this book enough. It has changed my life for the better. Thanks to Byron Katie I now know the true meaning of happiness and success. I wish I had read it years ago, it would have enabled me to cut out all the years of feeling not quite good enough. If this review means that just one person downloads this book it will make the effort of this review worthwhile.

    7 of 7 people found this review helpful
  • Pen Name
    7/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Pure truth"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Wisdom, truth and self-examination


    What did you like best about this story?

    Everything difficulty is conquerable when you examine the truth of your thoughts and beliefs.


    What does Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    It's a more human delivery, much more personal.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Listening to the first examination of a person Katie Byron coached.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Lynda
    Dundee, United Kingdom
    12/26/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Life changing book"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

    Never read the print but I think this is best suited to an audio book because of the amount of dialogue in it. Actually hearing the recorded sessions and how participants react is what makes the book.


    What did you like best about this story?

    There was no story per se


    Which character – as performed by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell – was your favourite?

    No characters either. This is a non-fiction book so not applicable.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes absolutely, and I almost did!


    Any additional comments?

    Get this book, it could change your life!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • steven
    New Malden, United Kingdom
    6/22/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A superb, very clear and highly effective"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

    This book it absolutely superb. It comes across as very honest, truthful and straight to the point, yet with absolute kindness and love. Katie's own story is fascinating and she shares her own Truth in the same manner as she facilitates 'the work', with total integrity. I cannot recommend 'loving what is' enough for anybody who is prepared to 'get their hands dirty' and get to the real issues holding you back in life.


    Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    It made me laugh out loud at times, and, also made me look deeply and honestly at myself as well.


    Any additional comments?

    This is a 'must buy' for anybody that genuinely wants to transform their life for the better

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Rosane
    Nacka, Sweden
    5/29/12
    Overall
    "What an encounter!"

    This is the first time I am being introduced to Byron Katie's work. At first, I felt very awkward towards the simplicity with which she exposes life's most threatening and stressful events. But keeping an open mind while listening further and trying to apply the technique presented, I realized that life can be as simple as it is, with no drama. So, many thanks for sharing with the world a simple yet valuable philosophical way of approaching life!

    Another feature that also made very pleased with this purchase is that, as being new to audio books, and as Katie herself narrates "Loving What Is" (together with Stephen Mitchell and adding audio excerpts from her seminars), it made the entire experience of listening to her book very alive, as if Katie and I were having a conversation, as two good friends.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mandy
    Worcester, United Kingdom
    8/1/11
    Overall
    "Refreshing"

    This is the first time I'd encountered Katie following a recommendation from a friend. As they say; 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear' and she really teaches a different way to think in ways that could change your thoughts about any negative life situations forever...

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Emily
    DEAL, KENT, United Kingdom
    10/22/10
    Overall
    "Being ok with the now"

    My whole life I have always resisted what was happening to me. I would get frustrated and angry when things were supposed to go my way and didn't. Byron Katie shows me that the mind creates my own reality and my thoughts dictate the world I perceive to live in. Answering four questions and turning them around opened my eyes to what was really happening in my life. Loving What Is has transformed me into a more open-hearted and accepting person. Please listen to this book, it will set you free if you let it.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Alex
    9/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Excellent (once if gets going at chapter 5)"
    What was one of the most memorable moments of Loving What Is?

    Some excellent moments where I reflected on things I had been wrestling with for years and the 4 questions provided a unique perspective.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Chus
    UK
    2/26/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great awakemomg call"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Forget about gurus, self-help messiahs and prophets of the new order. This is a very simple approach to facing our lives and ask tough questions about our deepest fears and worries. The audiobook is very crude, at times even shocking, made more dramatic by the real-life extracts included. But this makes it more valuable.
    It's not about being right or wrong, it's about stopping our poisonous thoughts and dare to ask very simple questions. Thoroughly recommended.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Lulu
    LONDON, United Kingdom
    2/3/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Amazing and life changing"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Relevant, uplifting, necessary


    What did you like best about this story?

    The real life examples, the interviews she has with people and the selection of people chosen cut across different generations, roles and problems I'm life so that many people are likely to identify themselves with the people and problems discussed in the book.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    The discussion with the mother suffering from depression with a crying baby


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, but also to read it several times over!!


    Any additional comments?

    This book is almost like the perfect reference book or life manual!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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