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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life | [Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell]

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work.
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Publisher's Summary

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a 10-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

©2002 Byron Kathleen Mitchell; (P)2002 Audio Literature

What the Critics Say

"With warm and nicely chosen interventions with audience members, the authors demonstrate the essentials of accepting realities in others we can't change. It's a hard-charging message, at times relentless, that will shake up any listeners whose lives are held up because of nagging blame or anger toward others." (AudioFile)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (931 )
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4.4 (479 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Kate ngunnawal, ACT, Australia 06-19-09
    Kate ngunnawal, ACT, Australia 06-19-09
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Finding loving what is"

    As Katie says there are no mistakes and this book is just that - no mistake. It is a ray of warm golden sunshine to a mind full of dark unpleasant thoughts. I can now see a way into that sunshine of the mind and am doing "the work" little by little every day. Thank you so much Katie

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mark Rancho Cordova, CA, USA 06-13-07
    Mark Rancho Cordova, CA, USA 06-13-07
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    "Save your heart and save your mind"

    Dr Frank Shallenberger recommended this book to me and it has really helped me to see things for what they are instead of making myself miserable because they are not the way I wish. This has become the book I have given away the most to those who matter to me.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Susan Middletown, Maryland, United States 10-08-12
    Susan Middletown, Maryland, United States 10-08-12 Member Since 2012

    Susan Ways

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Some good and some not so good"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I was glad I listened to the book opposed to reading it. I don't think I would have gotten through the book had I read it.


    Would you recommend Loving What Is to your friends? Why or why not?

    Probably not. This book has some good aspects such as turning things around and asking what is true and what isn't, focusing on what we have control over and looking at things from a different perspective. I do think that listeners have to be careful as it may cause some negative self talk as thinking is shifted from self to others. I think this is a good book for people with a strong sense of self and has some good tools but I think it can be a dangerous book for those with lower self esteem.
    My favorite part of this book, which I have discussed with others is paying attention to what is our business, others business and God's business. It is always helpful to remind ourselves which business we are trying to control.
    In my job, I have asked people who come to me if what they are feeling is true and how do they know it is true.
    There are some really good pieces to this book, but overall I wasn't comfortable with my perception of the messaging. One of my gauges with things is "does this make me feel good" and the exercises did not feel good to me. Not because I didn't want to face the truth but because they took me back to a place that I have worked hard to move out of.
    This wasn't a fit for me and I would only recommend it if I felt it was a fit for another person.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell ?

    Perhaps


    Did Loving What Is inspire you to do anything?

    It did inspire me to look at things differently. I have done a lot of self work and have to be careful not to "blame" myself for things or take ownership of other people's behavior. I felt this book was pushing me back into that place that I have worked so hard to move beyond so I had to read it with caution and pull out what I thought was beneficial. What she is discussing in this book has some wonderful thought provoking value and people who lack self awareness or accountability would benefit from reading this book.


    Any additional comments?

    Any book that inspires and gives the reader tools to be a better person is a great book. These self help books all depend on the frame of mind of the reader. If taking accountability or not understanding other people in your life or their actions, then this book may be helpful.

    6 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Halle Scott 04-24-15
    Halle Scott 04-24-15 Listener Since 2009
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    "Outstanding"
    Where does Loving What Is rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    As far as self help books, this was one of the top books.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I like how concise some of the key points were, and I can recall them in my daily life.
    I also laughed at some of the dialog, because she does a good job of finding the humor in how our minds work and how ridiculous our personal expectations can be. There were a few points made that I did not relate to, but that is ok. I think you could do a second read, and sort through some of approaches in more depth.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sara Cameron, TX, USA 02-27-13
    Sara Cameron, TX, USA 02-27-13 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Too abridged"

    This is great material, and the audiobook is a good adjunct to the written work. I was disappointed by how much the audiobook is abridged from the written.
    The big plus to the audio version is being able to the actual interviews.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Richard CHESAPEAKE, VA, USA 01-23-10
    Richard CHESAPEAKE, VA, USA 01-23-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "What is! Got to love it."

    A down to earth real way to address our "demons", who really are inreality ourselves is disguise. A Wonderful book of self discovery and freedom ... It really is all about us afterall.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Randall North Vancouver, BC, Canada 09-27-07
    Randall North Vancouver, BC, Canada 09-27-07
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Another piece of the puzzle..."

    I really liked this author's common sense approach to making the concept of non resistance real. For me it really drove home the link it has to our happiness with ourselves and our relationships.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Margaret Weidemann Elmira, NY United States 07-20-06
    Margaret Weidemann Elmira, NY United States 07-20-06 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Finally, self help that helped!"

    This is listening at its best. Hearing the voices of those that Katy is guiding through the questions change from immense pain and sadness to laughter and playfullness was so powerful that I have listened to this over and over during the past few weeks. Their stories and the work they did were deeply touching and helped me to get through some issues that had been very difficult for me. Thank you Katie and Audible!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    B Far Hills, NJ, USA 08-05-04
    B Far Hills, NJ, USA 08-05-04 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "An easy way to change..., if you're willing."

    This book is especially good if you do it! katie lays it all out, and the actual interviews of 5 people are on the tape (it's abridged I just noticed, which explains why you don't hear about the NYC woman or the terrorist fears). I've started my second listen. I've developed new understanding and feelings about my 9th grader wanting to play video games all the time! "the work" or "inquiry" as she calls it rates 10 stars, I only gave four because I agree with the difficulty navigating the download, but it's easy with an ipod.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    James Augusta, ME, USA 07-23-04
    James Augusta, ME, USA 07-23-04
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Only Thing Missing What is"

    This is a really excellent self help book. I'm getting a lot out of it. But it is missing a bookmarks, segment marks or tracks which would make it easier to navigate from one issue or topic.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
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  • Margaret
    Leeds, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom
    2/21/09
    Overall
    "This book has changed my life"

    I can't recommend this book enough. It has changed my life for the better. Thanks to Byron Katie I now know the true meaning of happiness and success. I wish I had read it years ago, it would have enabled me to cut out all the years of feeling not quite good enough. If this review means that just one person downloads this book it will make the effort of this review worthwhile.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  • Lynda
    Dundee, United Kingdom
    12/26/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Life changing book"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

    Never read the print but I think this is best suited to an audio book because of the amount of dialogue in it. Actually hearing the recorded sessions and how participants react is what makes the book.


    What did you like best about this story?

    There was no story per se


    Which character – as performed by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell – was your favourite?

    No characters either. This is a non-fiction book so not applicable.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes absolutely, and I almost did!


    Any additional comments?

    Get this book, it could change your life!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Emily
    DEAL, KENT, United Kingdom
    10/22/10
    Overall
    "Being ok with the now"

    My whole life I have always resisted what was happening to me. I would get frustrated and angry when things were supposed to go my way and didn't. Byron Katie shows me that the mind creates my own reality and my thoughts dictate the world I perceive to live in. Answering four questions and turning them around opened my eyes to what was really happening in my life. Loving What Is has transformed me into a more open-hearted and accepting person. Please listen to this book, it will set you free if you let it.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Pen Name
    7/7/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Pure truth"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Wisdom, truth and self-examination


    What did you like best about this story?

    Everything difficulty is conquerable when you examine the truth of your thoughts and beliefs.


    What does Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    It's a more human delivery, much more personal.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Listening to the first examination of a person Katie Byron coached.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Rosane
    Nacka, Sweden
    5/29/12
    Overall
    "What an encounter!"

    This is the first time I am being introduced to Byron Katie's work. At first, I felt very awkward towards the simplicity with which she exposes life's most threatening and stressful events. But keeping an open mind while listening further and trying to apply the technique presented, I realized that life can be as simple as it is, with no drama. So, many thanks for sharing with the world a simple yet valuable philosophical way of approaching life!

    Another feature that also made very pleased with this purchase is that, as being new to audio books, and as Katie herself narrates "Loving What Is" (together with Stephen Mitchell and adding audio excerpts from her seminars), it made the entire experience of listening to her book very alive, as if Katie and I were having a conversation, as two good friends.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mandy
    Worcester, United Kingdom
    8/1/11
    Overall
    "Refreshing"

    This is the first time I'd encountered Katie following a recommendation from a friend. As they say; 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear' and she really teaches a different way to think in ways that could change your thoughts about any negative life situations forever...

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Chus
    UK
    2/26/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great awakemomg call"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Forget about gurus, self-help messiahs and prophets of the new order. This is a very simple approach to facing our lives and ask tough questions about our deepest fears and worries. The audiobook is very crude, at times even shocking, made more dramatic by the real-life extracts included. But this makes it more valuable.
    It's not about being right or wrong, it's about stopping our poisonous thoughts and dare to ask very simple questions. Thoroughly recommended.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Lulu
    LONDON, United Kingdom
    2/3/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Amazing and life changing"
    If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

    Relevant, uplifting, necessary


    What did you like best about this story?

    The real life examples, the interviews she has with people and the selection of people chosen cut across different generations, roles and problems I'm life so that many people are likely to identify themselves with the people and problems discussed in the book.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    The discussion with the mother suffering from depression with a crying baby


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, but also to read it several times over!!


    Any additional comments?

    This book is almost like the perfect reference book or life manual!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Nick
    Gorebridge, United Kingdom
    12/18/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "This will open your eyes! A must read."
    Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

    Yes. The dialogues couldn't be replicated in the print version.


    What did you like best about this story?

    It is a simple view on how to radically alter the way you approach life.


    Which character – as performed by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell – was your favourite?

    Not applicable


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes


    Any additional comments?

    No

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Dawn
    Barrow Gurney, United Kingdom
    12/13/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Utterly life changing and possible for everyone"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

    The audio book lets you hear Katie doing The Work with people in lots of different situations. It provided more insight for me than the printed version into how Katie approaches The Work and how others respond to it.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Loving What Is?

    The most memorable moments involve actually hearing other people being set free from thoughts that have plagued them for years- all in a matter of minutes.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    I loved the whole book and hearing first hand how effective The Work can be for people in so many different situations.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    I was moved time and again by people who felt they had been victimised by others and by their circumstances seeing how they had contributed to this - not in a blaming way but in a way that helped them to see their part in it and to let go and move forward much more positively.


    Any additional comments?

    Get the book, do The Work, you'll never look back!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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