©2004 Emerson Eggerichs; (P)2008 Oasis Audio
Eggerichs does a good job identifying this fundamental need of men and women and has a fairly good approach to meeting those needs.
I found the first section quite repetitive, some of the terms corny ("crazy cycle" for instance) and some over generalization about the sexes.
However, his thoughts on how to meet your spouse's need for love and respect is very good.
The performance - B. Not terrible but an actor would have made it easier to distinguish between a section's title and the body. His intonation when reading headings made it difficult for you to realize that it was a sentence.
I would like to see this book written by a female. Even as the author reads it he makes the woman sound awful in the tone of voice he uses for her. His advice is a bunch of his own made up ideas like "the crazy cycle" and "the reward cycle". Acronyms he uses are difficult to remember. He advises women in difficult situations to tough it out. And tells women to be more giving in the intimacy department even when the man hasn't done anything to woo her. He barley touches on the idea that men should be sacrificial in their love to their wives.
Very practical and helpful because it:
- spleaks to real marriages not idealist fabrications
- it distinguishes the diffent needs of men and women.
My wife recommended to me and we have both found it very helpful
Our marriage has been positively impacted by this book.
Emerson speaks clearly about core emotional drivers of relationship conflict and satisfaction with one's spouse and life generally.
This is excellent reading for men and women raised in a modern politically correct society (which offers little of use for constructive relationship building).
I drew a lot of wisdom from this short book as it helped focus my understanding on the need for women to be loved and men to be respected. It definitely had a large effect on improving my girlfriend and I’s relationship as we better understand what each of us needs.
This book was able to show me how the way I say things and phrase things can be taken as disrespectful by my husband. I thought I was being helpful and loving, but I was actually making him feel badly, like he was not capable of meeting my needs.
My husband and I are opposites in every way. I've always been more like most men where emotions are concerned and my husband is more emotional and reactional. He is the one who needs to talk and I am the stonewaller, but it did help me to understand how the way I word things or expressions can be taken wrong.
I always think it's great to have the author as the reader. It helps you "connect" with the author better, especially when it is a book designed to help you better yourself.
I wanted to, but it's a bit long for doing that.
Understanding for the first time the importance of respect to him,-- where I've done poorly for him, and how to improve things for the both of us. I am not a Christian, and I had to let a lot of that slide by, but I found the essence of his message to be very sound, and very important to me right now.
The anecdotes that illustrate his major points.
The point about the importance of acting with respect even if I'm not filled with respectful feelings at the particular moment. Not in a phony way, but as expression of humility and acceptance of his leadership in our life together. And that acting respectfully alllows him to trust my love for him.
An enormous resource for me as we have entered a 'taken in hand' relationship, to better understanding that for him, expressing respect is the most essential element.
Simple, Educated, and Faithful to Scripture
Part 3: The Reward Cycle
I realized how I was failing as a husband, and what I need to do moving forward. This book took all the advice I got from people, including priests, and gave me the tools I needed to be ok with my circumstances and have hope for my hurting marriage.
For those that are on the brink of divorced, maybe have divorced or in the process, you should take a day to read this cover to cover (or listen to it). If you have a good marriage and want a GREAT marriage, I would also give this book your time.
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