The role divorce plays on emotional stability can be devastating for many men and women - anger, resentment, and a sense of loss often linger well beyond the life and death of the marriage. Since much of the stigma of the past has been lifted, many are discovering that it is easier to work through these negative emotions, turning this life-altering event into a positive one by creating a better, more fulfilling life after divorce.
Whether a marriage was short-term or long-term, the pain felt by the individuals involved in either type is often quite similar after it dissolves. There are also key behaviors and emotions unique to both the individual leaving the relationship as well as the one being left. What both partners have in common, however, is a deep sense of loss. Life After Divorce, Revised & Updated guides readers through this confusion, offering tips on how to heal, secrets to dealing with both new and old relationships outside the marriage, how to communicate with children caught in the crossfire, and how to deal with the effects of financial instability in the home.
In this updated and revised edition of the classic book Life After Divorce, bestselling author and therapist Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse outlines the most common issues associated with the dissolution of marriages - abuse, addiction, lack of communication, money, career goals, social interests, and cheating are just a few. Readers learn how to navigate the divorce process without the added cost of unwanted attorney fees, the difference between a collaborative and mediation divorce, and how to choose which path is right for them. Also provided are two new chapters, one focusing on adult children whose parents have chosen to divorce later in life and how they can effectively deal with the guilt associated with feeling the pressure to take sides, and the other explains how technology plays a role in the dissolution of marriages.
Wegscheider-Cruse believes that each and every person has the ability to grow from the trauma of divorce, coming out a better, well-rounded individual. Peace, fulfillment, and greater self-esteem are possible after divorce, as is achieving a loving and lasting relationship with a new partner.
©2012 Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse (P)2013 Wetware Media
Those looking for validation for being the one to end a marriage.
This is a hideously biased book. What do I mean by that? Let me explain.
The author uses the common term “leaver”, the person who ended the relationship and the “left”, the person who wanted to try harder or go to counseling or something. She seems to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince the listener that the leaver really isn’t really bad, the leaver was only reacting to the left who somehow she seems to want to blame, even though she uses platitudes as nobody is to blame and nobody ever wins in a divorce. She is clearly biased for the “leaver”. She says that she herself went through a divorce. I have no doubt whatsoever which one she was in that case. Full disclosure; I am a “left” as well as a male. Which brings me to my next charge of bias, she is biased against men.
She gives numerous examples of what couples say to each other when they are discussing/arguing about the problems in their marriage. It’s truly stunning how many of her examples have the man being portrayed as selfish and heartless and the women as the victim.
I also detect a bit of bitterness against marriage itself. This is the newest edition of a book written long ago. Although I cannot figure out exactly when it was first published her biography proudly claims to have been on The Phil Donahue Show so she is definitely a boomer type. She also seems to be a feminist. Those two things explain a lot about her world view.
If you’re a woman and a leaver by all means read this book. It will comfort you, tell you you’re strong and brave and generally make you feel good about yourself. But if you are a left and particularly a male left you will find this book infuriating.
It would be easy to dismiss this review as someone bitter over his own divorce. Rest assured that I tried to listen to this numerous times over the last month. I cannot suffer thru any more of it.
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