So many of us spend so much time enmeshed in other people's problems, trying to solve or change them, that we don't really know where we end and they begin. Not reacting to people or situations that provoke us is not an easy skill to develop. It takes practice and conviction that not reacting, not increasing the drama, doesn't mean we don't care. On the contrary, we are freed to show genuine love and care only when we can detach from the knee-jerk need to fix, solve, rescue, or control. Even the idea that someone else can make us feel happy (or beautiful or angry) or we them is an illusion, says Casey in this remarkable book. All our feelings come from within and we get to choose how to respond to life.
The meditations in this power-packed little book provide us the tools we need to practice letting go of the illusion that we can control anyone or anything beyond our selves. Casey teaches us to focus on finding our own balance point and recognizing how to get to it whenever we find ourselves tempted to rescue or enmesh.
©2010 Karen Casey (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
This book is fantastic at painting a picture that provides great relatable examples for the points the author hits on for how to live your own life first in peace and understanding. It provides tools on how to to be centered in the midst of the chaos and drama of others so you can see things as they are and not as they are perceived by you or the other person.
Each moment a principle would start to sink in I felt a release of frustration and/or angst for certain situations and people.
The narrator is very personable and has a pleasant nurturing voice.
The book helps you to let go of the need to save others from themselves so they can grow as they need to which allows you to have peace, healthier boundaries and relationships. It helped me to understand that the manipulative behavior from others stems from their fear and that it's ok to let others learn the hard way. You can be detached from the issue while still being engaged in the situation at hand and be effective at moving through it in a rational way.
I recommend this book for anyone who has ever felt drained from relationships and in cyclical relationships where others are just never happy no matter what you do for them. This is very liberating and freeing if you can successfully adopt and implement the principles of this book. Listen to it as many times as it takes to sink in and keep your joy permanently.
I needed this! I am the mother of 3 grown kids and thinking that I always have to "come to their rescue" is a feeling that is very hard to turn off. This book gave me very good insight as to how and why I need to "let go and let God!"
I listend to the book in long periods at a time. It was a very good listen and made me alter my thought patterns.
I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling with codependence issues!
I'm sure it has a place for someone in need of being less codependent. But for myself I found this book cold and void of personal concern for others. The message of not letting yourself invade and get wrapped up in the drama where you really have no business is a good one. The fact is I never heard any message of being there for those in need and the joy you can bring to yourself and others by being a part of humanity. I must admit I did not listen to this entire book and perhaps missed a later side to it. It was to rigid and cold for me to hear in its entirety,
More feeling and compassion to fellow humans while still explaining how to have a balance and where to draw the line in your personal involvement. .
The voice sounded like a drill sergeant. More warmth.
I think it is better suited for co dependents. I had thought it was going to be more balanced and more deep point of view.
Karen Casey's work has been steadily growing on me, and I'm finding this book very helpful. That said, it's probably best to purchase a physical copy of this particular title (as I have done), as it's actually a collection of daily meditations which lends itself better to reading than listening.
Since Audible doesn't allow listeners to edit or delete reviews (get with it, guys!), I'd like to add that my earlier review of one of Casey's other books, "Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow", was in hindsight far too critical. Upon second listen (and especially after reading the physical copy), it's revealed itself to be a much wiser and more insightful book than I initially believed.
As a co-dependent,the essays in this book have become an everyday listen for me. It gives steps to help overcome co dependency, the author is relatable and this book is not just a soap box read.
hearing the principle "there is your business, then there is non of your business". so simple, but it actually flipped my life around at work and at home. I'm focusing on my life now rather than trying to juggle work relationships and people i deal with at home. i went from being depressed and anxiety ridden to being open and ready to move on with my life.
the narrator sounds like she has no soul lol.
just one, be detached. let go of trying to change everything and let god handle all the hardwork. its hard living life now without trying to control everything, but in reality non of us ever had control of anything. I've accepted life and have found some peace.
becoming detached pisses other people off, mainly because they won't be able to control you or effect you anymore. be ready for that. right now as i'm learning to be detached, i'm also learning how to be emotional too. there is a learning curve to being detached and you should get that in your head. you won't hear this audio course and have instant change, you have to apply it all day every day, i've been detached for about 3 weeks now and moving away from old habits is hard at times.
This has extremely valuable concepts, well written and well thought out. Concepts everyone should apply to everyday life. My only complaint would be it repeats itself a lot. It's good because it help concepts adhere, but by hour 3 it seems to be the same book over and over. This book could have been half size and still have the same impact.
"Not detachment at all: attachment to religion!"
Climate Matters, by John Broome.
The performance was so so, if a little robotic.
Anger and disappointment: the book description gives no indication that it is a defence of religion and the notion of attachment to God. Detachment should be letting go, but this is the exact opposite: it is attachment to a fictional entity. Great, thanks... This fictional entity forms the answer to any of the problems raised in the book. Useless.
The book description is, quite frankly, dishonest: really needs to state that it is a Christian text. I'd never have bought it had I known.
"Quite to very good"
I enjoyed this audiobook and profited a great deal from it. The reason I gave 4 and not 5 stars is that there are quite a lot of repetitions in the essays the author has written. I think that it might be meant to listen one essay a day before moving to another one. I took another option - I listened to 10-20 essays at a time. And in fact, the repetitions could have had a positive effect as well because listening to the same expressions time and time again build a ground for recovery.
The idea that detachment does not mean isolation, rejection or abandonment. Healthy detachment is an expression of love and care for myself and the others.
Very good reader.
Highly recommended to all strugglind with codependency and obsessive drive to control others and events of everyday life.
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