I'm Okay, You're a Brat explains why: parenthood is a joy for some and a headache for others, what you put in doesn't necessarily come out, our relationships with our spouses often suffer when children enter the picture, our lives change so drastically when a child is born, we can love our kids yet hate parenthood, and we can have great fulfillment in life with or without children.
©1999 by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.; (P) Audio Renaissance, an Imprint of Renaissance Media, Inc.
"...an honest, politically incorrect, no-holds-barred book. If you [listen to] it before you have children, it may change your life. If you [listen to] it after you have children, it may save you years of therapy.' (author Warren Farrell, Ph.D.)
Looking back, I should have seen it in the title. This book is all about making sure that you FEEL ok about yourself, no matter how your kid turns out. And more over, it moves from the pretense of Parenting to all about Mommy before the first quarter of the book passes. The basic outline is, do what feels right for you, and make sure that you are happy as a mommy, and that is as far as your responsibility goes. There are too may other influences in your childs life for you to be held responsible for how your child turns out. So just make yourself happy. The author tells her own personal story about how she is so happy that she didnt give into the pressures to be a full time mommy. She gave up custody of her kids and got to have the fulfillment of the career that she deserved to be able to have. She didnt have to be the bad parent since she only saw them during visitation. She would not have been able to be as successful if she had to have custody. when I first read the title, I assumed that this book would be a politically incorrect view that calls bratty kids.... well..... brats. Instead, it is a book that draws quotes from Hillary's "It Takes A Village" to say that it isnt a good thing for the parent to be the sole care giver. It takes many influences to mold who your child becomes. And given this fact, you have little responsibility, and therefore little blame for what your child becomes. This read was some what like watching a train wreck. I had a hard time putting it down because I was dumb-founded and shocked by the depth of the selfishness and self-centeredness of the author. The hippy mentality of "if it feels good, do it" has now grown up and is writing books about parenting. In a nut shell, it suggests..... If you have kids, your life ends until you can get them out of the house. What the author doesnt seem to grasp is that life doesnt end, it changes. It is no longer about the parent, it is about the child. That is what she cant take.
I thought this would be a light-hearted look at the troubles of parenting. This book only whines about how parents are "robbed" by the "demanding" awful kids. If you are self-centered and looking to justify not having kids, this book is for you. If you feel others are responsible for your happiness, this book is for you. If you are a parent, skip it. This book asserts you have no control over your children, and so you are off the hook, just suffer through until they leave and then you can be happy again. If you are looking to be a good parent - stay away from Ms. Whiner and her horrors of parenting. Parenting well is tough, but there are is nothing to help here, just a voice that says it sucks and you can't do anything about it.
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