A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood.
In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.
Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of 20-somethings - and of special value to parents of teens - this audiobook is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
©2015 Julie Lythcott-Haims (P)2015 Macmillan Audio
"Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure.... A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." (Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times best sellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well)
"For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." (Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times best sellers Drive and A Whole New Mind)
I don't necessarily think that everyone who starts reading this book will feel the same. As she mentions, just the fact that we seek out these parental help books, may actually be an indicator that we are worrying too much and over acting or reacting to what we should just recognize as life.
Before I was even half way through this book, I was already recommending it to family and friends. This was probably the first time reading a parenting related book that didn't try and make me feel guilty for not doing more, but rather feel a little silly for thinking that I should. And understandably so. This was a great illustration of the parenting approach we share, and weren't able to put into words.
We, as parents, have been repeatedly asked how we got so lucky. We were even told by someone close to us, I thought you were doing things all wrong, but you seemed to have fixed your mistakes. I went ahead sent them a link to this book too, btw.
This book didn't just give us a pat on the back though. It gave me tangible perspectives and approaches to address the milestones we have not yet reached, resources and advice to provide our child so they can make their own educated decisions and we can focus on our true value as parents and avoid ill fated over involvement.
Most of the book focuses on issues of parenting from the perspective of Upper-Middle Class Americans. Those from working class families will find about half of the book very useful. They will find the other half describing problems of which they will not be able to identify with; or, of which they would love to have.
I live in Northern Virginia and listen to audio books every day during my commute and during walks.
How to raise an adult is a great book. Julie Lythcott-Haims lays out a strong argument that the problem kids are having today is not, not enough parenting, but rather too much parenting. She suggests that raising an adult is the most important thing a parent can do and to do this we need to back off. The approach sounds simple but runs counter to many recent trends. I enjoyed this book and am someone who never, but perhaps should, read parenting books.
Best book I've read on parenting and the US complex that has become the standard college admissions process. My daughter is 5 and it was not too early to consider how I will handle the tough issues raised by the author. Brava!
By the end of the book you'll be certain of just one thing: the author was a dean at Stanford. She's super proud of that. Beyond that, read the chapter titles and you'll get all the goodness the book. I can't say I disagree with anything she says but the incessant whining about it was unbearable. The near explosive attention this book has received tells me there must be a lot of people who haven't figured this out on their own yet. Perhaps I'm just lucky to have struggled with my young son in our failing education institution and applied my rebellious, counter-culture character to overcoming the BS early on. I have no doubt that there are parents who don't get it. I know many affluent parents that think success is something you purchase for your kids while their teenagers still wet the bed. But the answer is not to return to the 70s, ditch car seats and smoke around our kids. There was a little too much nostalgia pumped into the room for my stomach.
So, yeah, encourage your kids and let them fail sometimes. Great. Moving on...
Lisa Dewey Wells, Wonder of Children
Yes - to take notes!
Discussing parenting styles and assessing parenting to date, with my 17 year old as we listened while driving to visit prospective colleges
Best 'parenting' book, for the fact that this educates us the harm that a hovering parent does for a kid's future. My age says that I and my wife are in the millennial group. However, we are thankful that both of are parents let us do our own things with little assistance, mainly support. We are trying to be great parents as well by realizing that the goal is for them to make it on their own.
Did not read the print version. I listen to books while driving or traveling
Smart Money Smart Kids
5 Love Languages of kids
Her emphasis on how ridiculous some parenting ideas are and the way she describes them.
Make you realize how crazy it is.
It shocked me that there are so many parents nowadays that choose to coddle their children rather than have them learn life's lessons. That parents take over and run their child's life even after they should be living an adult life.
I recommend this book to everyone.
Great read for parents who are trying to step back and let their kids figure things out, which we all know is hard to do at this time with all helicopter moms/dads.
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