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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It | [Patricia Love, Steven Stosny]

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Publisher's Summary

Men are right.

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied the all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require "trying to turn a man into a woman". Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2007 Patricia Love and Steven Stosny (P)2011 Tantor

What the Critics Say

"Inspirational... a practical guide for men and women to overcome their challenges and come together outside and inside the bedroom." (John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (95 )
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4.2 (81 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Amazon Customer United States 06-11-12
    Amazon Customer United States 06-11-12 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Male - Female interactions make so much more sense"
    Any additional comments?

    I have listened to this more than once and get new insights each time. It has helped me understand what is going on so much better in relationships and given me some tools to improve them...and they do help!

    7 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert Innisfil, ON, Canada 02-25-13
    Robert Innisfil, ON, Canada 02-25-13
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    "Everyone Should Read This Book"
    Would you listen to How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It again? Why?

    I have listened to this book many times to understand the details. Read this book if you want to understand why you don't get along with your spouse, child, or parents. Everyone needs this information. It should be taught in school.

    It has improved my relationship with my wife - Without talking about it.

    I whole heartily recommend this book!


    6 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert Spencerport, NY, United States 11-12-12
    Robert Spencerport, NY, United States 11-12-12 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "most effective relationship help ever"
    Would you listen to How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It again? Why?

    already am on #2 and plan to refer back when needed


    What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It?

    Without talking or fighting about it and finally some insight on why the same approach doesn't work for both men and women.


    What about Laural Merlington’s performance did you like?

    Very well read with tactful emphasis.


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It?

    It will be my relationship bible and hopefully "ours".


    Any additional comments?

    No other book or advice or even counsel has been this helpful.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Randolph Seattle, WA 12-07-13
    Randolph Seattle, WA 12-07-13 Member Since 2013
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    "A must read"
    What made the experience of listening to How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It the most enjoyable?

    This book is based on very simple concepts about human evolution that affect our daily lives in the modern marriage. The central premise is the fear-shame reflex that kicks off a primal defense mechanism that underlies troublesome interactions between couples. The challenge it discusses is how we can counter the evolutionary developments of our brain designed for surviving pre-historic life but not at all suited for the modern relationship. It provides data, results of research and many true and instructive examples. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their relationship.


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert M Holden 10-02-13 Member Since 2010

    I am married to the wonderful and amazing woman pictured here. I listen to books to make me a better husband, father and person.

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    "Love this book"
    Would you consider the audio edition of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It to be better than the print version?

    Excellent look into men and women and how they connect and why failure to connect means a lack of good communication and leads to discontent and divorce.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It?

    The discussion on male shame and the affect of cortisol on the male and female bodies.


    What about Laural Merlington’s performance did you like?

    Felt empathetic, very good production


    What did you learn from How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It that you would use in your daily life?

    That my wife and I are feeding into each other and we need to stop.


    Any additional comments?

    Now I just need to get her to read the book.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Adrianne E. Hart 05-08-14 Member Since 2011
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    "I get it now."
    Any additional comments?

    I wish I would have had this book years ago. So much clicked for me!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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