©2006 Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend; (P)2008 Zondervan
Love all their books! This book gives great guidelines for understanding what you expect to gain from the confrontation, why to have confrontation and how to productively initiate confrontation and do so lovingly and in a positive way to repair or build up a relationship. They also discuss that sometimes in confrontation the person you talk with will not be interested in considering steps to repair or build up the relationship and when to back off and consider your other options based on the severity of the problem in the relationship.
They also talk about spending some time understanding yourself and what your needs and desires are and what you are expecting in the relationship. When there has been a breach of trust, understanding what you want from the other party in order to remain in the relationship. Understanding that trust and forgiveness are two different things was big for me. That you can forgive and still not trust. That forgiveness deals with past deeds, while trust is based on future behaviour and trustworthiness must be proven for you to trust them again. Forgiveness does not mean you let down your guard and blindly trust the person who has been untrustworthy. They must be willing to be open and honest from that point on if they hope to rebuild your trust.
I found it enlightening and with many good examples of how to approach talking to someone about something you need to have different in the relationship, whether in business, marriage or other family issues.
This is interesting, helpful, but I find myself annoyed by the overarching Christian perspective. Also find the authors slightly condescending. I found the book DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS much more helpful. Audiobook for above book is done very well. I also have the hard copy and find it a good companion for audiobook.
yes. It really helps confront those difficult situations.
Ignored problems will not go away.
I found myself annoyed by the overarching Christian perspective. Also find the authors slightly condescending. Needs to be updated to be a little more polically correct.
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