©2006 Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend; (P)2008 Zondervan
Love all their books! This book gives great guidelines for understanding what you expect to gain from the confrontation, why to have confrontation and how to productively initiate confrontation and do so lovingly and in a positive way to repair or build up a relationship. They also discuss that sometimes in confrontation the person you talk with will not be interested in considering steps to repair or build up the relationship and when to back off and consider your other options based on the severity of the problem in the relationship.
They also talk about spending some time understanding yourself and what your needs and desires are and what you are expecting in the relationship. When there has been a breach of trust, understanding what you want from the other party in order to remain in the relationship. Understanding that trust and forgiveness are two different things was big for me. That you can forgive and still not trust. That forgiveness deals with past deeds, while trust is based on future behaviour and trustworthiness must be proven for you to trust them again. Forgiveness does not mean you let down your guard and blindly trust the person who has been untrustworthy. They must be willing to be open and honest from that point on if they hope to rebuild your trust.
I found it enlightening and with many good examples of how to approach talking to someone about something you need to have different in the relationship, whether in business, marriage or other family issues.
That'd be hard. But if I could sum it up in three words, they would be: Necessary Sequel. (Couldn't do three words) It's an essential book if you are someone who has struggled with boundaries and are needing practical advice on how to go about setting boundaries. I've read the book 'boundaries' (and many of its spin off books) and found the content so helpful. But to put the theories into practice was another story. This book is true to its title and does stick to the point of 'boundaries conversations.' But it is basically touching on the practical side of the awesome book 'Boundaries.' I think this book is a necessary sequel to its predecessor.
I think you can listen to it in one sitting. I usually listen to audio books when I'm cooking or cleaning or even driving. The narrative is really awesome - I think Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend should read other books as they are very talented readers. It really feels like you're listening to their lecture rather than listening to a book being read aloud.
I chose the abridged version and I am so glad I did. I know some people think that the abridged version of books will cause you to miss out on the details but I don't think so. It covers all the essential details of the book and because it's not so looooooong-winded, you are able to grasp concepts quickly. The unabridged versions are way too long for me. I believe that gathering information via listening versus reading are totally different things. It's hard to sustain one's attention when someone is going on and on about a topic for too long... Also, with an abridged version you can listen to the whole thing several times allowing for the information to stick with you longer. With Cloud Townsend books, they seem to read most of their abridged books on audio so that's a hugely added bonus in my opinion.
yes. It really helps confront those difficult situations.
Ignored problems will not go away.
This is interesting, helpful, but I find myself annoyed by the overarching Christian perspective. Also find the authors slightly condescending. I found the book DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS much more helpful. Audiobook for above book is done very well. I also have the hard copy and find it a good companion for audiobook.
I found myself annoyed by the overarching Christian perspective. Also find the authors slightly condescending. Needs to be updated to be a little more polically correct.
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