©2006 Bill Ferguson; (P)2006 Bill Ferguson
It's too early to tell, but the approach recommended here is already having an enormously positive effect on my relationship with my spouse. In contrast to the other review, I have found this audiobook to be helpful and multi-faceted, going to the root of the emotional background that is likely causing the two partners in estrangement to contemplate a split. I know that whether or not we decide to go our separate ways, my relationship with my wife will be significantly repaired, and that at least will save us a costly and adversarial divorce. I will update this review once the final result is in. In the meantime, if you are looking for help for your troubled marriage, I suggest you place this audiobook near the top of your list.
In spite of the fact my husband and I are getting divorced, and we both very much want to stay close friends (and so far are), this book didn't feel relevant at times to me.
There were some good insights, but there were also parts I found annoying.
I wish there had been a professional narrator.
I also wish the format had been edited. It appeared to have been a series before, that was combined into one recording. Therefore, it "sells" the next section, and often repeats things that were already said. In spite of the repetition, the order didn't make sense. At one point I thought I had skipped backwards (but hadn't).
I couldn't finish listening to this.
Just as good, makes very good points
He does repeat himself a few times throughout the audio book,....thought I accidentally scanned back but I noticed he does this throughout.
I started reading it while separated, but didn't connect because I wasn't matured enough. Three years after divorcing, I was struggling with knowledge of how to let my ex-wife know that I realized I had made many mistakes and I still loved her as a human being. Through God and this book's process of achieving that, I now am prepared to ask her permission to tell her what time and wisdom has showed me. I just couldn't keep from sharing this with her any longer. Thank you for explaining what I have been praying for a long time!
Wow this book has really changed my life. It has given me an awareness of my behaviors and how I impacted my marriage. If you really want to end a marriage as friends or even save your marriage this is the book you need. I am thankful for the concepts in this book because I was doing things wrong and when I put the concepts explained in this book into action I immediately begin to see the benefits. I say "Thank You Mr. Ferguson" !!!
I would compare this book to Letting Go: A 12 week personal action program ... by Cabot and Wanderer but this book is more diverse and on a higher level.
He brings what he experienced in his life and how he got through it. I was able to transfer those concepts into my situation.
If you truly want the person to be happy you need to accept the person as they are. I should stop resisting who I am and embrace who I am and the negative power goes away. Love the person whether they are with me or not. This brought my wife closer to me .. it is amazing!
"Saved My Spirit"
Yes I would and have recommended this book to a friend. I recommended it because it clearly spoke to what was required at the beginning of a painful separation. The thought of being friends with someone you were separating from was an unheard of concept. Very valuable in creating a mental shift in how to view separation. Forcing you to see that resistance to change is what causes upset and not the actual change happening.
A few key points were:
Trust that you will be okay,
Accept your circumstances,
Stop The Conflict,
Stop Fearing The Loss,
Feel The Hurt,
Heal Your Hurt
The exercise on listing the reasons for your hurt, working through those issues and working constructively towards ending the cycle of conflict and restoring the love as individuals. You have everything you need to heal your relationship or part as friends.
"The Ex Friends"
I have listened to this book several times. 3 years post separation, my ex and I are good friends and our kids being happily co-parented. This book went a long way towards giving me the tools necessary to change the conflict dynamics and moving in a more positive direction. Absolutely recommended.
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