How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women Audiobook | Terrence Real | Audible.com
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How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women | [Terrence Real]

How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women

Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the book that every couple has been waiting for - and our culture needs. In it, Terrence Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it.
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Publisher's Summary

Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this groundbreaking new book, best selling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted more than a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40 to 50 percent. Our culture prepares us to fall in love, but it does not give us the skills we need to stay in love. Here Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it.

The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles, Real explains. In the past 30 years, women's roles have changed radically and men's have not. For the first time, adult women are asking their partners to access the very skills - emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibility - that most men have had stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not raise boys to be intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same time, girls are taught to be compliant and accommodating. The result is that men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills.

Real draws on myth, literature, film, and heartrending stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, marriage, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles but also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of love is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections, and he then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the book that every couple has been waiting for - and our culture needs.

©2002 Terrence Real, All Rights Reserved; (P)2002 Simon & Schuster Inc., SOUND IDEAS Is an Imprint of Simon & Schuster Audio Division, Simon & Schuster Inc.

What Members Say

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  •  
    Tom Gunsmoke Carson City, NV, United States 05-04-12
    Tom Gunsmoke Carson City, NV, United States 05-04-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Profound - for Men and Women"
    Any additional comments?

    A real eye opener, spirit shaker for me. Only wish I'd heard and known 20 years ago. Not all specifics are totally in alignment with my experience (and failures) but the vast majority are. Am grateful for getting it when I did. The authors description of the dynamics may be intuitively known, but are presented in a fashion that resonates and gives substance to how they are created, allowing those with inhibited awareness to see more clearly (and get it at the core).

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ileana jensen Beach, FL, USA 08-04-05
    Ileana jensen Beach, FL, USA 08-04-05 Member Since 2003
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    "How Can I Get Through to You?"

    Through the years we've tried couples counseling (3 different therapists), many books, and more, never feeling it helped all that much in the long run. So when I started this you could say my expectations were realistically in check. To my great surprise, this book blows everything we've tried out of the water - it's more spot on where the complexities of trying to relate are concerned than I can describe. And I see it's use for more than a love relationship, all one's relationships can benefit from this information. We are looking for someone in our area who uses "Relational Therapy" (the approach of the author) as we are convinced that this may just be something that works!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    DGM 02-22-08
    DGM 02-22-08 Member Since 2007

    dmess86

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    "Great book"

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it very helpful. Read everything you can by this author if you are working on your marriage.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael atlanta, GA, USA 03-21-07
    Michael atlanta, GA, USA 03-21-07 Member Since 2002
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    "i will never see things the same"

    Terrence Reale shares some of the deepest most profound influences western society puts on men and woman from birth. These influences sow the most persistent and damaging seeds of discontent in men and women by setting unrealistic(and sometimes dangerous)expectations that only the most motivated can overcome. This is a clear case where the audio book must be superior to the printed version; you can really feel the level of compassion he has for his subjects, which includes his readers. The author does an excellent job delivering on his mission to help us see how we have been unintentionally set up by our mothers, fathers, coaches and society to fail in our relationships and marriages. The author does this somehow without blame or guilt..a must for anyone wondering how relationships unravel even when we think we are doing the right thing.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Celeste Houston, TX, USA 02-28-06
    Celeste Houston, TX, USA 02-28-06
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    "incredible"

    Terrence Real says it like it is. I'm a graduate student in family therapy, and I recommend this book to my professors and fellow students. It's been incredibly helpful in my relationship with my husband.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amy Salem, WI, USA 07-23-04
    Amy Salem, WI, USA 07-23-04
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    "Both Men and Women need to hear this!!!"

    This book are truly opened my eye's to help me understand that what I want from my marriage is not just a dream, but can be reality. My husband is suffering from depression and is now trapped behind walls of emotional and verbal abuse suffered during his childhood. Listening to this book and reading Real's other book, "I don't want to talk about" have giving me an understanding of not just what my husband has gone through, but why I long for emotional connection with him. I believe that all men should listen and discuss this book to gain complete understanding as to what "connection" really is and how it will effect them for the rest of thier lives. Woman NEED to read this to gain an understanding as to why they may feel crazy at times and why thier partners WILL NOT "hear" them. I pray that this book will give my husband and other men courage to face the cultural norm and change it for our future. As for women, don't stop using your voice just learn how to relate with it.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jaci Boulder, CO, United States 11-12-12
    Jaci Boulder, CO, United States 11-12-12 Member Since 2009
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    "Deep Relational Shifts"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    It's beautifully written and poignant


    What other book might you compare How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women to and why?

    I Don't want to Talk About It and New Rules of Marriage


    Which character – as performed by Terrence Real – was your favorite?

    Terry is the best narrator for this book.


    What did you learn from How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women that you would use in your daily life?

    That bad behavior should be confronted and the poor parenting behind it acknowledged. That people's best selves should be engaged and supported in mending their relationship.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Laura Dallas, TX, United States 01-07-10
    Laura Dallas, TX, United States 01-07-10
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    "very book"

    this book is good for both man and women... It gives ladies insight on why men arent as affectionate as we would like them to be and it makes complete sense....

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Martie Oviedo, FL, USA 09-27-09
    Martie Oviedo, FL, USA 09-27-09 Member Since 2007
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    "Listened to it twice"

    I really enjoyed this book. Listened it twice. Very insightful and helpful. He really knows how to cut to the chase and get straight to the heart.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Anne Ithaca NY USA 08-18-07
    Anne Ithaca NY USA 08-18-07 Member Since 2005

    Say something about yourself!

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    "Good info - poor narration"

    Loved the information, but the narration leaves something to be desired.
    Almost a monotone, no real distinguishing inflections between the dialogue and the narration - it all runs together & is very hard to follow.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
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