Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to best-selling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships.
The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship - from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogues" to "Forgiving Injuries" - and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations. These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond.
©2008 Dr. Sue Johnson; (P)2008 Brilliance Audio
This book has improved our 27 years of bad communication. We aren't great at it, but can identify issues sooner. You will get what you put in. We were lucky to have a weekend workshop using the books conversations
This book will save your relationship, or prevent it from ever going critical. Everyone should take it in!
This and others together help you understand common pitfalls and communcation faults which are really a big part of relationship troubles. Do listen and get what you can from this and the other common self relationship help books. They all add up to informing you and enlighting you and can help. Go for it.
I bought this book YEARS ago, and never actually read it until now. When I started it I obviously wasn't in a place to hear it. After being married for some time, it hits home. This book along with What makes love last are two of the best relationship books on the market. If you are willing to put in the work, it will save your marriage.
Which book is better? I say buy both! If you can't and you can only buy one - look at your problems.
If you are getting stuck on the same arguements over and over, or there has been an affair, or you feel like you are going to try to do it on your own - I suggest What makes love last.
If you have decent communication, and you want a better relationship - this book is worth the buy.
Both are great books - and you wont be disappointing with either. There is a reason that both books are highly recommended by MFT (marriage family therapist) all over the world - worth the buy.
Me - it has helped my marriage
All of it.
Relationships are not always perfect - with work they can be better.
This book should be required reading for all married couples, couples considering marriage, marriage and family therapists, family law attorneys, and clergy. Many relationships could be saved and strengthened, and families healed with the information and principles contained in this book.
Audio book chapter breaks do not correspond to the chapter breaks in the real book
I appreciated the content of this book, probably because I find attachment theory very interesting. "Hold Me Tight" validates our need for meaningful connections with others and offers various techniques to help us in achieving and maintaining those connections.
Unfortunately, the narrator is not easy to listen to. She has a very stilted style of speaking that grated on my nerves. Her "male" voice set my teeth on edge. Of course, this is just one person's opinion and others may not be as bothered as I was.
Still, I'd recommend just reading the book.
I've honestly learned so much from this. Thank you. Learning that when my girlfriend lashed out at me and said she thought we'd never work, she was actually reaching out for a clear secure attachment confirmation. aka, genuine loving affection, words and touch. hugs go a long way. also seeing where I Stoke the fire myself by saying the wrong things at this time or saying nothing at all. if I react correctly the situation changes dramatical. seeing her coming from a place of vulnerable longing for secure attachment makes it much easier to hear the angry tone and know that's just the fear of the unknown tone.
Brilliant. This book really hits the bulls eye about the core issue underlying the confusing, usually irrational and complex landscape of love relationships. The conversations provided excellent example of how couples can get past the "he said she said" quibbles that can deeply wound each other, and delve into real emotional honesty. I look forward to working on these conversations with my husband. The grand finale was profoundly inspiring.
I liked the way the reader could portray a man's voice as well as a woman's voice, helping the listener follow who was saying what.
In summary, I wish every couple could read this book. I really do believe it could bring a great deal more peace to the world.
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