Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to best-selling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships.
The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship - from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogues" to "Forgiving Injuries" - and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations. These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond.
©2008 Dr. Sue Johnson; (P)2008 Brilliance Audio
It's a very informative book and draws a parallel in communication and dancing. It gives good advice on stepping back to observe the actual steps that lead to a fight, disagreement, unraveling or dissolution of a relationship.
Yes. She seems like she has great expert advice.
Not sure. She does well imitating male and female character voices. I like her narration.
I think I'll apply the background advice to be vulnerable and upfront about needs and insecurities. That seems to have worked in most friendships. I would imagine it'll relate to my next relationship too.
This is the best book on marriage I've ever read. Cuts right to the heart of the issues. If you want to understand...and be able to do something about...the repeated patterns of conflict in your marriage-here's your book!
Learning the way attachment needs radically alter the daily behaviors of a partner radically changed the way I thought about fights with my girlfriend. And it breaks emotional issues down in ways my logical mind can understand.
Excellent book, carefully and thoughtfully written. The premise of the book that good relationships are based on secure attachment between partners seems basic. But it is a groundbreaking insight.
I loved the content. It was much easier to have the hard copy with me though. The paragraph headings, lists, and exercises were hard to follow without the hard copy.
Her male voices were really annoying
I got sick of this book before it was over. Near the beginning, the author explains the foundations for the kind of therapy she conducts. I found it helpful to consider that adults need reliable emotional attachment as much as children do. But once we got past the conceptual grounding, I lost interest.
I think if you need couple's therapy, then you should probably seek out a practitioner. This book might be helpful in deciding whether you'd like to try Dr. Johnson's approach. I don't think the book is a replacement for the keen listening and the feedback a real life therapist would provide.
One thing I found kind of annoying with the reading is that there are conversations between a LOT of couples. Having the narrator do men's and women's voices so often got repetitive. (The men all sounded a little like John Wayne.) I suppose it makes an audio book too expensive to produce, but I think in this situation, it would be better to hire actors to read the actual dialogues.
I bought this book YEARS ago, and never actually read it until now. When I started it I obviously wasn't in a place to hear it. After being married for some time, it hits home. This book along with What makes love last are two of the best relationship books on the market. If you are willing to put in the work, it will save your marriage.
Which book is better? I say buy both! If you can't and you can only buy one - look at your problems.
If you are getting stuck on the same arguements over and over, or there has been an affair, or you feel like you are going to try to do it on your own - I suggest What makes love last.
If you have decent communication, and you want a better relationship - this book is worth the buy.
Both are great books - and you wont be disappointing with either. There is a reason that both books are highly recommended by MFT (marriage family therapist) all over the world - worth the buy.
Me - it has helped my marriage
All of it.
Relationships are not always perfect - with work they can be better.
So far this has been the most informative read to date on the subject of attachment theory...
Accept...it also deals with attachment theory/stiles.
Demon dialogue is a bad habit to get in but can be turned into productive secure communication if the hard work is done.
I was referred to this book by a clinical psychologist who deals in relationship issues among other things.
It can not only cement the best of relationships but could also save the most tenuous and damaged of partnerships.
Easy to listen to and understand, if your relationships are important to you then you need this book. We all need this book!
I now give it to people as an engagement gift.
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