Although it is a popular notion that questions are an essential and integral part of rich and sensitive communication, Dlugokinski illustrates how there are often inappropriate or "deadly" questions that disrupt healthy relating.
Those deadly questions occur when the speaker asks someone a question that they themselves need to answer. Deadly questions can bring chaos to parenting, deferred development for children, lack of intimacy to personal relationships, limited efficiency and productivity in the work setting, and limitations in the ability for self-direction and the direction of others.
Through case examples Dlugokinski illustrates how readers can acquire greater personal understanding and acceptance, a key to communicating more effectively and intimately with others. As readers give themselves the answers instead of asking questions, they learn to value the unique person they are, live proactively, and improve their relationships with others.
©2009 Eric Dlugokinski; (P)2009 Tate
I found the ideas in this audio-book quite helpful. The author explains that many times asking questions is either a way to avoid revealing our inner self, or a way we give up our proper authority. He advises that we connect with ourself through solitude, reflection, pausing, meditation. By being connected to our inner self, or being centered, then we can achieve balance between our needs and goals, and those of others, neither being a doormat or a bully.
While the narrator has a nice voice, many times he becomes tongue tied. Sometimes the phrasing is awkward, and there are at times lapses of silence. Sometimes he clears his throat. One passage of about two minutes is repeated. I got the impression the recording was a first draft and that the final editing, for some reason, never was done.
The first 6 minutes of the recording is a testimonial to merits of the author by one of his colleagues. Kind of like a commercial. From my stand point, I'd already bought the book, and would have preferred to get started listening to it without this preamble.
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