Controlling People

How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You

By: Patricia Evans

Narrated by: Xe Sands

Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins

Publisher's summary

Does this sound like someone you know?

• Always needs to be right. Tells you who you are and what you think.
• Implies that you're wrong or inadequate when you don't agree.
• Is threatened by people who are "different".
• Feels attacked when questioned.
• Doesn't seem to really hear or see you.

If any of the above traits sounds familiar, help is on the way! In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love.

Controlling People helps you unravel the senseless behavior that plagues both the controller and the victim. Can the pattern, or spell, be broken? Yes! says the author. By understanding the compelling force involved, you can be a catalyst for change and actually become a spell-breaker. Once the spell is broken and the controller sees others as they really are, a genuine connection can be forged and healing can occur.

Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.

©2003 Patricia Evans (P)2012 Tantor

Critic reviews

"A timely book that not only helps readers free themselves from controlling types but also seeks to explain the occurrence of verbal abuse, battering, stalking, harassment, hate crimes, gang violence, tyranny, terrorism, and territorial invasion." ( Library Journal)

The info is great, the narrator needs some coffee

I have been dealing with controlling people all my life. This book really helped me understand why/what/how was happening in them, as opposed to feeling like I was part of the problem.
I highly recommend the book.
That said, I had to fight to listen to it to the end because the narrator is a bit bland.

good book

the surprise that came with this book is the realization that I have been a controller myself treating my kids as my teddies. for that I give the book 5 stars as I came to learn how to deal with controllers not noticing I was one.

Good

Wish there was more information about controlling women. But the information on controlling in general was good. Hopefully "What?" will work. And I am thankful to know that I am not alone.

Eyes are opened!

And I’m so grateful. The answer I had prayed for. This book has wisdom that everyone needs to hear. The truth has set me free.

A must read if you think you are: a controller, or are being victimized by a controlling person or group!

I am a witness who initially read Patricia Evans book, verbally abusive relationships in May 2020 after being demeaning and humiliated to the point of complete and total distraught… That book helped me tremendously and my verbal abuser did not change, though I learn to respond… The roller coaster continued, although because of the book, I did not become depressed. Finally, in September of this year I decided I had enough, that he wouldn’t change and I would need to leave. As a last ditch effort, I turned back to Patricia Evans writings and read the verbally abusive man can he change. Because of references to the controlling people book, I read this as a follow up… Knowing what’s going on, the likelihood of change, and what is involved in the change has helped me tremendously and making my decision… Most importantly, I’ve taken back my self-esteem! Thank you to Patricia Evans. To those of you who are wondering if you are in the situation, read this book! I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to understand what is going on with your situation… You are absolutely not alone, and this book will help you see that!

Insightful

I am going to listen to this book again. It was very eye opening and helped me to grow in understanding of people that control others.
The book offers me information that I need so as to be able to make hard decisions of divorce.
I listened to "verbal abusers, can he change" and I gave my spouse "The Agreement" 3 days ago. I appreciate the strength that comes with the lessons learned in listening to Patricia Evan's audiobooks.

Eye opening

Narrator was excellent. Kept me interested throughout. This is my second time listening to it with a totally different attitude and it came alive in my mind the need to break the spell of being in control. Thoroughly worth the money to purchase this book.

ABSOLUTE "MUST READ"

This information needs to be implemented as a Freshman Orientation Program.
Everyone should have this knowledge, before beginning to establish adult​ relationships.
Patricia presents how & why people control others at a personal level.
She reveals how to recognize controlling people, control techniques, the motives that drive the control and how to overcome this control.
Patricia presents this in a manner that is empathetic toward the controller, as well as the controllee.
If you recognize yourself as a controller, you too will find a way out of this destructive behavior.
Group control is touched on toward the end.

This book changed my entire perspective.

I now see the world through a different lens, the lens described in Controlling People that allows one to see nonsensical controlling behavior in myself and others. With Patricia Evans' guidance in this book, I believe I will be able to break the spell of controlling behavior of those who are unconsciously abusing me. I highly recommend this audio book, as it may just change your life.

Truth-Teller

This book does an amazing job of defining controlling relationships within the full spectrum - from offhand comments to verbal abuse to domestic violence to genocide. It’s an important read for anyone looking to escape the cycle of being controlled or trying to control others.