©1987, 1992 Hazelden Foundation; (P)2005 Recorded Books, LLC
"Few people understand this idea as well as Melody Beattie, an author recovering successfully from a variety of addictive disorders and entanglements." (AudioFile)
"Bettie understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift." (Time)
This book changed my life. Best buy ever! Wish I had read it before!!! Its so conforting findiing yourself through its pages. It helped me understand myself and letting go. 100% positive ratings!
I found it very difficult to follow the message of this book or get any real help from it. The author indicates there are a number of causes of co-dependency but seems to try to discuss them all at the same time. As a result, I found myself sorting through all of the causes and situations that did not pertain to me to try and find what did. The book would be much better and helpful if each cause, or similar causes, and resulting behaviors were grouped together in one or more chapters and discussed from start to finish.
This book reminds me to take care of ME first. We get spun into a circle of making sure everyone is cared for, nurtured,loved, fed, and their egos are boosted while silently fuming that our own needs go unmet. Why do I have to always be the one to reach out? This book helps to remind us that WE must take care of OUR needs first in order to be of any value to anyone else. I had forgotten that along the way.
I hate you! dont leave me!
No, this book needs to be taken in sections and absorbed, if you race thru it you miss so much. it is the book you want to listen to 50 times because you learn something you missed on time 30 by rushing.
Seriously it should be required reading in school.
It is a very clear review on codependency, its characteristics and some tools to manage it to get "better" which will reflect in a more fulfilling life
I thought the book was timeless. Finally I have a name for my personality type. Now I can identify my ‘rescue’ efforts I can try and control my impulse to help everybody. I so can not be bothered. I am like a magnet for the weak and vulnerable. You build them up – and off they fly with someone else. I definitely want to have relationships that aren’t based around the other person’s tragedies. I have carried too many people too far and I am emotional barren and always feel like the door mat. Fancy me being codependent on that! I thought they were on me and I was stuck having to support them. I have just got rid of my last ‘lost puppy’. I love dogs more than humans for sure, so now I’m just happy to give and take with my pooch. At least my time will be my own, I will have money in the back saved! And she will love me and always be there for me when I need her [not turn all woes back to focus on their problems all the time]. 36 now, hopefully this book has now woken me enough to stop taking on other people stuff….because after all it’s none of my business
I enjoyed both very much, but the audio edition helped the material "sink in" more thoroughly. I read the book before listening to it, so I knew what was going on already, and I think that helped. The narrator did such a great job that I was able to really stay focused on the text.
As this is a non-fiction book, this question doesn't apply; however, from an abstract point of view one could say that the most important character is you, the reader/listener. This book is about empowering the reader to take back control of his or her life, so he becomes the central focus of the book.
The performance was so good that I could easily imagine that the author was the one who was talking. Her voice is very soothing and helped me engage with the content.
The idea and practice of detachment is something that greatly benefited me. I don't mean detaching from life; rather, this kind of detachment is letting go of the anxiety that always comes when we try to carry everyone's burdens and fix their problems. It is about stepping away from the situation and looking at it from a more serene perspective and accepting that we cannot change or "fix" people.
If it worked..the book is great but the audible wont work, I cant hear a thing and yes the volume is up. I tried it on my Kindle Fire and my Ipad 4.
I would and have recommended this book to many people. It is one of the best books out there on this subject. Since Codependency is a deeply rooted behavior (usually from childood), it takes a great deal of time and learning to recover and overcome the negative effects that CoDependency can have in our daily lives. I know as I have been working on this for over 3 years.
Another great book is "Healing Trauma through Self-Parenting: The CoDependency Connection". They both contain outstanding pieces of information that allow us to begin the process of healing and moving forward.
No specific character to mention
While I am oversimplifying the idea ... That to begin the healing process, we must learn to truly Love ourselves. We cannot place our desire for self esteem in the hands of another person.
If you think that you might be affected by Codependency. There is no better place to start than with this book.
I have a rather eclectic love of books. I know what I like and I tend not to be a severe critic. If I enjoyed it, it gets 4 or 5 stars.
This book was okay, but it really didn't offer much that I didn't already know. Codependency is a popular topic and I think I learned as much about it from reading magazines and essays as I did by reading this book.
Boundaries and CNM goes hand in hand. They are both a perfect one two punch to dealing with self.
Christina is actually giving the stories personalities and life.
How to identify patterns and characteristics as a baseline to start repairing some of my learned behaviors that I would not have learned had it been not for this book.
The Bible, Codependent No More, and Boundaries are essential to live life the way God intended for me to live.
"Every mother, wife, woman should own a copy"
This book was recommended to me by a counselor while I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is one woman's manual to overcoming struggles and although the book has a heavy emphasis on dealing with alcoholics, and people with dependency issues, something that was not necessarily true for me, it taught me a massive amount about my own thought process and really how I bet myself up way too much mentally.It genuinely changed me for the better and made me feel understood and more aware of my strengths.I purchased the audio version as I really did not feel like reading some "self help" crap, if I'm honest. However I think I made the right choice, the narrator is perfect and I have listened to some chapters over and over.I recommend this if you ever feel your kindness is taken advantage of, you feel under appreciated, you say yes to things because you feel guilty saying no or you have any sort of hurtful, or dysfunctional relationships in your life,You will finally understand everything,
It is written in a non-preachy way, it is not condescending and unlike other self help books, this can sometimes make you mad, but at yourself. It took me on a journey I will never forget.
Christina Moore is excellent. It feels like a chat rather than someone reading to you, I cannot recommend her highly enough
No, but it is a book you will ALWAYS go back to
If your in doubt, but other books are telling you the same old positive thinking diatribe..I cant emphasize enough, this book is a massive seller for a reason, and its one you will pass on
I thought that this book was to over published, she does not have a PHD IN PSYCHOLOGY AND FOUND SOME SENTENCES REPEATABLE . ITS OKAY FOR THE LIGHT READER . BUT ITS NOT FOR EVERYONE. SURE IT WILL HELP PEOPLE IN SIMULATIVE CIRCUMSTANCES. ONLY GOT A LITTLE OUT OF IT MYSELF. SORRY....
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