There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed - and you may feel powerless.
In Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of co-parenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome", and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters an open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse.
©2014 Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R. Fine (P)2016 Tantor
"Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices." (Publishers Weekly)
This book was spot on with my life the last 6 years since my divorce, I had NO idea I was responding the wrong way until I ended up in court on an emergency custody hearing order for things that never ever happened, now I realize the brainwashing was years in making. I'm definitely kicking myself for not getting this book years ago when I knew my ex was telling my kids horrible untrue things about me :-(
I like the overall message that you should be present for your child and focus on them.
There are some good overall tools in skills for dealing with situations covered in this book.
It does however come from an assumption that this is something to be lived with rather than changed.
The author seems to rely on the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) model which is surrounded in controversy. I would encourage anyone Learning about this to check out attachment based parental alienation (AB –PA) and get involved with changing this dynamic. When we focus on this as one parent and one child — it may seem insurmountable. But the truth is, there are many people dealing with this. When we band together we become a force much stronger than any individual ever could be.
I recommend for anyone who is having a tough time with their ex in order to protect the relationship with the children.
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