Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Marsha Mercant, Joe Barrett

Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." ( The Wall Street Journal)

Worth reading

This is an excellent introduction to the literature in social psychology. The authors go on rants at points (Chapter 4 for example) that celebrate their particular points of view. There are some straw man arguments as well. Overall it is a very good text and worth reading.

Insightful

Fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author takes you inside the mind tricks we play to rationalize and justify our mistakes and bad behavior. I better understand why some, even myself, are willing to lie to others and to ourselves to maintain an image we want ourselves or others to believe.

Who knew there was science behind making excuses?

What made the experience of listening to Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) the most enjoyable?

Everyone who has had to fess up to something knows how hard it was to accept unmitigated responsibility for the behavior. "Mistakes were made, but not by me" is a fascinating exploration of the cognitive science behind rationalization. Seminal research in the psychology of everything from white lies to elaborate deceptions is offered up to the reader in an interesting and an understandable way. Everyone faced with prevaricators and excuse makers needs to listen to this one.

What we often don't want to hear, but so need to.

Great book. very in-depth. Stick with it, the end ties it all together so well!

How to overcome mistakenly putting blame elsewhere

I have a hard time at not listening to audible books in 1.5 or faster speeds. This book is not an exception. The premise of the book, although very drawn out, is incredible in that it allows a person to identify where they are making mistakes and correct them. Due to the enormous amount of examples, there is ample opportunity for one to identify where they are self justifying mistakes.

Most valuable book about humanity that I have ever read!

All of humanity could heal personally and collectively by thoroughly understanding and applying the principles taught in this book.

Good information, lots of swearing.

I bought it thinking to play it for my family while on a road trip, glad I didn't. There is a surprising amount of needless swearing in the book unfortunately. It does delve rather deeply into psychology and why we do what we do, very interesting.

A must read for teachers or anyone who speaks to the public.

I studied cognitive development in grad school. I wish this had been on my list of books to read. As an educator and an activist, this information is invaluable when it comes to having difficult conversations.

MEMORY AND TRUTH

“Mistakes Were Made” reminds one of Socrates’ wisdom; e.g. “I know something that I know nothing.” Self-awareness is the essence of wisdom. Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, in “Mistakes Were Made”, challenge the foundation of social and physical sciences by questioning the integrity and correlation of human memory and truth.

Tavris and Aronson make one wonder about memories of childhood that influence one’s view of life. Tavris and Aronson question the truth of claims made by mature adults with recovered memories of parental abuse. They create a cognitive dissonance in readers who hear of alleged abuse of children by Catholic clergy or sexual abuse of daughters by fathers. One is thrown into confusion about truth; what to believe; who to blame.

Science and common sense

The material covered in this book should be made into a required class in every school in the world! It could be called 'Dissonance for Beginners'. So many people who make bad decisions and then stick to them in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary might be able to recognize this trait in themselves if they were aware that it is, and always has been, a common human reaction. The book itself is highly readable and contains a good number of practical examples of dissonance and the results thereof. Recommended - for everyone.