Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Marsha Mercant, Joe Barrett

Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." ( The Wall Street Journal)

Good basic introduction to human errors

Easy to listen and insightful. Plenty of examples from history and case examples from different studies on the subject.

transformational

A must read for anyone interest in truth, justice and healing. kudos to the authors and there insights

Good Information

I found it very interesting, good information. Gives you something think about in your day to day.

Transformative Writing

Unbelievably open and instructive piece on habits of self-justification that result from an effort to relieve cognitive dissonance. This book is for readers of all ages. Tavris and Aronson come together to create an unforgettable, transformative piece. The principles outlined in this book are universally applicable and undeniably beneficial. I love my friend more for recommending this incredible read!

A real eye-opener for those seeking wisdom.

I enjoyed the examples in public and personal lives through history , recent and not-so-recent, where people made mistakes, and either owned up and moved beyond them, or stayed in denial and avoided responsibility. I loved how the book covered international examples all the way down to interpersonal relationships with both good and bad examples of what the writers want to teach about cognitive dissonance. I highly recommend reading it with open eyes and reflecting how to live life better and more responsibly.

understanding self mind tricks

until I listened to this audio book I could not understand how I justified my very bad decisions. now I know why.

Excellent social hierarchy analysis

Would you consider the audio edition of Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) to be better than the print version?

I always love the audible books

What was one of the most memorable moments of Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)?

President Bush justified his Iraq war with non-sense due to his high power.

Any additional comments?

Excellent social-psychological analysis of social phenomenon.

much meaning in my own life and past relationships

When listen to openly this book resolved a lot of the issues I have with my past relationship

I learned about myself & Mormon church mistakes.

I learned about myself justification in my relationships with others and I saw many samples in my Mormon church history where we play the victim and ignore contrary evidence that we were also, as Mormons, at fault. The leaders of the church in particular, made mistakes and then made excuses for bad behavior for hundreds of years.

This book made it clear why it was so easy for good people to justify really bad behavior. Like Joseph Smith taking provera wives of women who were already married to other man even married to non Mormons in the example of my great great great aunt Mary Elizabeth Rollins Lightner Smith Young.

It almost got 5 stars from me.

If you could sum up Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) in three words, what would they be?

"They are right" In their minds, everyone is always right, and can't go back. If the authors had given more solutions, I would have given the book 5 stars. Even without solutions it is a great book that raises a great point.

What other book might you compare Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) to and why?

Getting out of no, that mentions you need to create a golden bridge for the other party to retreat out of their position. Mistakes were made explains again and again why they will not go back, using the pyramid model to show how by taking small steps from a common point two people can end up having a huge wall between them.How to win friends, because it says: "don't complain nor criticize" and that people do not take blame for anything. The demon haunted world, because it talks about UFO abductions and cults.

Which scene was your favorite?

The one with the couples, because it was one of the few sections that proposed solutions.

If you could give Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) a new subtitle, what would it be?

Why they will not go back.

Any additional comments?

I loved the female narrator's voice and style. It is so easy to listen to her, I will look for another book read by her.