Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Marsha Mercant, Joe Barrett

Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." ( The Wall Street Journal)

Blew my expectations out of the water

I bought this book a long time ago as part of a sale, out of guilt. I know I have a really hard time admitting when I'm wrong, and hoped this book would help me get better at it. As you might imagine, this didn't make it seem like a fun read, so it was probably over a year before I listened to it.

It was NOT what I expected. Based on the title and the cover, I thought it would be a very self-involved therapy type book that might or might not be useful. It turned out to be a big picture, scientifically rigorous examination of confirmation bias and the devastating effect it has in every field ranging from medicine to law to war to personal relationships. I wish they'd make it mandatory reading for everyone in law enforcement, law, government, medicine, and social work. That said, I think everyone can benefit from reading it. Although I personally hope I'm never interrogated by the police, after listening to this book I think I'm a lot less likely to screw up if I am.

In the end, I think it could benefit from a little more "What can I personally do to make sure I catch myself when I'm falling prey to confirmation bias?" And "How can I get someone else stuck in confirmation bias to wake up?" The impression I got, though, was that science hasn't quite figured this out yet. I really hope they come out with an expanded, updated edition a few years from now. In the meantime, I'll recommend this version to everyone I know.

I do hope they change the cover & font to reflect the professionalism of the contents better. I'd hate to think other people are making the same mistake I did and judging the book by its cover.

great nonfiction

I enjoyed this nonfiction book that had sighted scientific research and also had anecdotal stories to illustrate the idea of cognitive dissonance and how it affects people.

makes you stop and think

about your own actions and beliefs. lot of meaningful examples. actors are easy to listen to.

This book is a very useful book.

As a normal human being I have the bad habit of not really recognizing my mistakes, and being able to see the psychological approach that this book provides to us really helps me to be a better person. It definitely made me realize that I'm much more of a bigger person owning my mistake and publicly apologizing if necessary.

Heavy on anecdotes and stories

Well done if you want an easy read, and the stories are well told. If you read a lot of books in this general style though, it may feel like a lot of storytelling in order to support four or five ideas. Closer to Adam Grant than Daniel Kahneman (both fine… just depends what you’re looking for).

Overdose on Dissonance theory

This book is a great add-on to the Arbinger Institute's best seller Leadership & Self-deception. So many great real life examples of Self-deception and self justification.

please remove this narrator!

the narrator (Marsha Mercant) was what deterred me from completing this book. this is the second book that I have not been able to get through because of this same narrator. Need a better suited voice please!!!

Great listen

Not only did I find the dissadents theory, explained within, a logical and easy to understand theory, but the layout of this text made the gradual complexity of information a smooth and easy ride throughout. The anecdotes were awesome and will easily capture your attention, regardless of your opinions about the dissadents theory overall. Well worth it!

Great content, but repetitive. Find a summary.

The content of this book is something everyone on this planet should be aware of and appreciate. Understanding cognitive bias is a key to success in life and business. But the book drags on with many examples of the same thing over and over, so finding an abridged version, or online summary of the same material is recommended, unless you want to spend the 9 hours here.

Ms Mercant's narration is incredibly perfunctory and unemotional, to the point that you could get something probably 90% as good having a computer voice read the text. There were even a couple of places where it's clear the authors were attempting humor, but she completely failed to change the mechanical drone of her narration, making for rather awkward sounding passages. Even in scholarly non-fiction like this, the narrator needs to understand the author's point and intention better.

Impressive Accurate Self Improvement

Impressive the way it is presented.
Accurate in accounts from history.
Self Improvement? Only if you reflect.