Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.
©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.
"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)
"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." (The Wall Street Journal)
I'm sure none of us think that we indulge in self-justification to the point that we lie to ourselves unconsciously. But it seems we do. It's important, if we are striving to be more considerate of others and striving to be more compassionate with ourselves, to live consciously. This book helps us to be more aware of the stories we tell ourselves to justify bad behaviour as well as honest mistakes.
The authors extend their ideas and research to politics and how generally honest people find themselves in huge conflicts of interest; and science, where those conflicts of interest can cost people their lives and health; and nations, where quarrels are endless and bloody and whole masses of people can be manipulated into supporting wrong-headed, destructive and even illegal policies; and personally, where self-justification can destroy relationships.
The knowledge presented in this book is very helpful for those who wish to try and be more aware of the tricks our consciousness plays in the effort to maintain self-esteem at all costs.
I intend to listen to this book over and over again.
until I listened to this audio book I could not understand how I justified my very bad decisions. now I know why.
Love to listen to and read my favorite genres.
When listen to openly this book resolved a lot of the issues I have with my past relationship
Consultant to senior executives. Focus is increased effectiveness by helping people see and release more of their full potential.
Naturally I only buy and read, (or in this case LISTEN to), books that I believe will be well written, informative, and helpful. This book exceeded my expectations in each are. Deeply thought-provoking, it helped me better understand both myself and others. Full of great examples which makes it very enjoyable to read.
Not only did I find the dissadents theory, explained within, a logical and easy to understand theory, but the layout of this text made the gradual complexity of information a smooth and easy ride throughout. The anecdotes were awesome and will easily capture your attention, regardless of your opinions about the dissadents theory overall. Well worth it!
This work had many great anecdotes to explain how rampant self justification is amongst people. Almost all the logic in this book followed well for me.
I enjoyed the examples in public and personal lives through history , recent and not-so-recent, where people made mistakes, and either owned up and moved beyond them, or stayed in denial and avoided responsibility. I loved how the book covered international examples all the way down to interpersonal relationships with both good and bad examples of what the writers want to teach about cognitive dissonance. I highly recommend reading it with open eyes and reflecting how to live life better and more responsibly.
World Champion Parallel Parker
This is a good book but it starts out with politics and a presumption that everyone feels the way the authors do, a common academic mistake - why do we make such mistakes? Anyhow, I think of the book frequently - getting past the politics, it was good.
This book's introduction speaks about American politics and the Watergate scandal, but instead of being a hook for me, it almost convinced me to swap to another book. Fortunately, I stuck it out and wound up listening to the whole thing in two sessions.
Using several different topics as frameworks, the authors work their way through many different aspects of how we delude ourselves and commit to mistakes. It is easy to follow and makes it simple to apply the lessons learned to your own mistakes. Genuinely interesting almost all of the way through with solid content and well-chosen examples, this is my best read in quite a while.
The narration occasionally switches between the male and female speaker and while this was initially distracting, it soon became natural and fitted well with the professional quality of the narration overall.
English major. Love to read
I am not sure why I downloaded this as I wasn't expecting to like it -- which isn't like me. Nonetheless, I started and I found it very illuminating. The authors spend a tad too much time with the lack of evidence in the sexual abuse scandals in the last 10 years, but I forgive them. They point up a tendency that is like finding a new lens through which to see life and how we all conduct ourselves. I have found myself just saying that I made a mistake rather than always couching it in a context - that's a change! So, it's not long, it's insightful and well read. That's a good read, isn't it?
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