Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Marsha Mercant, Joe Barrett

Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." ( The Wall Street Journal)

please remove this narrator!

the narrator (Marsha Mercant) was what deterred me from completing this book. this is the second book that I have not been able to get through because of this same narrator. Need a better suited voice please!!!

Great listen

Not only did I find the dissadents theory, explained within, a logical and easy to understand theory, but the layout of this text made the gradual complexity of information a smooth and easy ride throughout. The anecdotes were awesome and will easily capture your attention, regardless of your opinions about the dissadents theory overall. Well worth it!

Impressive Accurate Self Improvement

Impressive the way it is presented.
Accurate in accounts from history.
Self Improvement? Only if you reflect.

Fascinating.

Other than the authors clearly dinking the "official story" kool-aid on basically every story used as an example, the concepts are right on. Great listen. Enjoyable & educational. So many people should take a listen to this.

Insightful and Resourceful

Resourceful context and cases used to show how cognitive dissonance and self-justification affects relationships on all levels. Super insightful to better understand ourselves and one another. Would read again/recommend.

Powerful

Content of this book is outstanding and thought provoking. The delivery is well done. The authors use many different approaches and lots of life examples to help support their premise.

I liked this book

I liked this book, read it really fast. Excellent narrative, and enjoyed the real life examples that made it really easy to understand and bring the points accross.

Great content, but repetitive. Find a summary.

The content of this book is something everyone on this planet should be aware of and appreciate. Understanding cognitive bias is a key to success in life and business. But the book drags on with many examples of the same thing over and over, so finding an abridged version, or online summary of the same material is recommended, unless you want to spend the 9 hours here.

Ms Mercant's narration is incredibly perfunctory and unemotional, to the point that you could get something probably 90% as good having a computer voice read the text. There were even a couple of places where it's clear the authors were attempting humor, but she completely failed to change the mechanical drone of her narration, making for rather awkward sounding passages. Even in scholarly non-fiction like this, the narrator needs to understand the author's point and intention better.

A must-read.

This is one of the books that must be read and reread throughout our lifetime.

This book reveals, as did the book Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman that we're humans with flaws, blind spots, biases and we fail a lot. Period. But we need to be aware of how much we self-justify our mistakes.

Here's a condensed list of what you can expect from the book:
1. We always try to justify our acts to reduce dissonance - the feeling that you have two conflict ideas inside you and that makes you feel uncomfortable;
2. We're always biased. But knowing that changes everything. It's just like driving. Drivers will always have blind spots, but the good ones are aware that we have them and take care when changing lanes to avoid hitting a car or something. Be aware of your blind spots;
3. We're biased even when we know in theory that we can be biased in that specific situation;
4. We group things into stereotypes and we tend to separate the world into us versus them (and we do this quite quickly);
5. When you're so convinced about something, it's hard to make you come out of it. It demands a lot from you. You need to build up a lot of courage to assume an error but do it anyway. You'll be respected and honored.

This book is a must-read for anyone who makes mistakes. If you don't feel like you're this kind of person, there's definitely a mistake.

insightful

an insightful read. i felt the examples were many, maybe a chapter too much. would've enjoyed more from chapter 9 with more useful tips.