Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking audiobook, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love.
Attachment theory forms the basis for many best-selling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships - until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.
In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: "anxious" people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. "Avoidant" people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. "Secure" people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers a wealth of advice on how to navigate relationships more wisely, given a listener's attachment style and that of his or her partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
©2010 Amir Levine, M.D., Rachel Heller, M.A. (P)2010 Gildan Media Corp
As an attachment based psychoanalytic psychotherapist, trained in London at the Bowlby Centre, I was intrigued about this book. I listened to it all the way through with a few short breaks and found it fascinating. Many people will find this clear and compelling account of how attachment styles manifest themselves and interact, very useful indeed for understanding themselves and relating to others. Beautifully read, though I'd like to hear more female readers for the science books! Well worth every penny or cent!
This book is educational in a way that should be part of our foundational education as humans. I appreciate the structure for effective communication immensely. Communication in a relationship is a skill that is so basic that we often assume that it is inherent. It is not.
Many thanks to the authors for their incite.
So much good stuff in here! After following many wrong paths to love, this book taught me how to understand myself and other people in compassionate and healthful ways. Highly recommended!
Say something about yourself!
I enjoyed listening to the book and thought the narrator was wonderful. The theory makes sense, and I can see ways to apply it in my own life.
However, about 2 hours into the book I had totally gotten the point they were trying to make. The theory was well explained at the beginning of the book, so toward the end I was tired of listening instead of hoping that there would be more. Also, there was a good chunk of the book dedicated to quizzes and questionnaires that are just not something you can do while driving.
This book is for everyone. No matter who you are, where you're from, its a must read and you will wish you had this book in your life sooner. Even if you are secure, it will help you understand the people around you who aren't. It's not just dating advice based on opinion, it's all fact and well researched, you will be amazed. Every story example, I could think of another couple in which it sounded just like them. One sounded just like me and my ex. He was anxious and I, a woman, am avoidant. I'm not gonna lie, this book made me cry a little. It's a lot to think about and if you're not secure, you will suddenly have answers for why you act the way you do and won't feel so alone in your issues. Although it reads from a scientific point of view, its still an easy read as it gives you lots of examples and scenarios you can relate to. I will continue to read this over and over throughout my life to sort of try to brainwash myself into being secure. It will help you and give you hope to becoming a secure.
Greetings. My brother introduced me to Audible in 2011. Since, nothing but enjoyment. Hopefully my reviews are very useful to you. Enjoy!
It raises your awareness of your own weaknesses. Clearer understanding of who you are and just as important what traits the person you are dealing with has that can signal a red flag.
Clear voice nice to listen to. He's voice is charming and soothing.
The story of Marsha was incredible, it almost made me cry, having to put up with so much abuse from her boyfriend for years only to realize that he would not change nor her need for reassurance from her partner: an avoidant man that craved to do as he pleased, not taking her into account and treating her like the enemy.
To Communicate effectivle is a flawless tactic recommended on the book that i look forward to practice more often on every relationship.
To understand about attachment styles is key to identify what is best for a healthy relationship and peace of mind, specially if your attachment style is insecure.Although this book is based upon scientific research it is pretty understandable.
This book has been more useful in illuminating my relationship patterns and why I've kept repeating them than any other I've listened to. This information has helped me to let go of feelings of unworthiness and given me actual tools to work with - I'd say not just in romantic but all of my relationships. Highly recommended if you have what the authors call an anxious attachment style (and my guess is that many people who seek this kind of information do).
"Online Dating? READ THIS BOOK FIRST!"
I read this book a few weeks into online dating on the best known online dating web site - which heavily advertises on TV. I had a spectacular number of unsuccessful dates and started to doubt myself. It was starting to really affect my confidence and my own attachment style was becoming more insecure. After I read this book I gained considerable insight into my dates Adult attachment styles which meant they weren't right for me anyway. When I finally met a partner I was mad about, I could explain to her how our different styles could compliment each other and develop interactions that would strengthen our relationship. I also found myself giving people some very sound advice based entirely on this book and my own observations. Thus book examines the considerable research into Adult attachment and also gives some very sound advice and strategies to strengthen relationships and avoid the relationships that would be wrong for you. I heartily recommend it as one of the best self help/psychology I have read in the last 18 months.
"Everyone should read this!!!"
What is explained in this book, awareness of our attachment styles and our emotional needs - and that we are RIGHT to have them -, is so fundamental that it should be taught at school to teenagers! It should be made into a TV series so that everyone can be aware of and make use of this knowledge every day!
Amazing!!! AND scientifically based: How come it's not out there everywhere for everyone to learn about???
"Explains a lot!!"
A must read for everyone who wants to have successful relationships! It explains previous problems I have experienced. A great resource for therapists and individuals who wish to gain a greater understanding of adult attachment issues.
Very clearly written, I have much more awareness now of attachment styles and my own patterns of behaviour. Have recommended this book to several friends who struggle to hold down a relationship, a must read for anyone wanting to improve their communication and attachments within their relationships.
"An excellent read for romantic relationships"
This book is easy to listen to and it makes perfect sense. Not only does it explain why hardships arise in relationships, but it also offers advice on what to do. This is a must read for anyone in a relationship or about to start one. It also helps you achieve closure in relationships that have ended.
I would recommend this book to everyone I know.
I liked the way the narration was because the voice and intonation was very soft and powerful.
I did. I reflected a lot while reading it.
For everyone who works with people, this book is a must read!
This is a must for everyone in a relationship or about to enter a relationship. We should be thinking about the issues raised, when choosing a partner. The contents of this book are based on sound Attachment Theory and research. Everyone will recognise themselves and significant others. I'm a counsellor and it has been very helpful in understanding relationship difficulties. Excellent
P.S. Why are there so few reviews on Audible. Amazon has loads of reviews of books and I find it very helpful
"Astoundingly accurate - deserves more than 5 stars"
Astoundingly accurate in predicting and explaining relationship behaviour, informative and extremely helpful. Describes the 3 attachment styles, explains how to determine your own style and how to understand and cope in relationships with people of each style.
I found this book to be very tedious and boring to listen to....I fell asleep..
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