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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love Audiobook

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love

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Publisher's Summary

Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking audiobook, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love.

Attachment theory forms the basis for many best-selling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships - until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.

In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: "anxious" people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. "Avoidant" people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. "Secure" people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers a wealth of advice on how to navigate relationships more wisely, given a listener's attachment style and that of his or her partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

©2010 Amir Levine, M.D., Rachel Heller, M.A. (P)2010 Gildan Media Corp

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1668 )
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4.2 (1317 )
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Mrs. Palomino Bay Area 04-17-11
    Mrs. Palomino Bay Area 04-17-11

    Hey Hey Hey

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Lowest Common Denominator"

    There was some really great information in here, hence the four stars. It was eye opening and the research on adult attachment is definitely worth investigating. I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a greater elaboration on the "rarist" of us, those like me who are a combination of the two most screwed up emotional wrecks. There was a generic "sorry, you're in bad shape...try to apply everything we say about the two types." Not great. Sure, it may be just a 5% (maybe it was slightly lower, but I don't recall) but 5% or even 1% of the population is a LOT of us. And those of us who are craziest are most likely to be seeking out books like this to read! So, I would suggest that the rare combination of the two are WAY over-represented in the readership. Just sayin...

    This book was a good intro to the subject. But at some point, I began to feel like I was being talked down to like a child. Repetitive info. This is a great book if you dropped out of community college about halfway through your degree in automotive repair, and never took any psychology courses. However, if you have any exposure to psychology at all, the first half of this book is great but then move on to something more insightful.

    I am giving it 4 because I am trying to be positive. It probably gets slightly over a 3 to me, but I chose to round up.

    31 of 37 people found this review helpful
  •  
    MM 06-25-13
    MM 06-25-13

    Tell us about yourself!

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    "This explains everything!"
    Where does Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Loved this book. It takes the blame or shame away from needing a certain type of love or attachment. And it helps identify how people need and react to attachment.


    What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

    Yes and I will revisit it again.


    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Briana Melissa Ford Lewisville, TX 02-20-13
    Briana Melissa Ford Lewisville, TX 02-20-13 Member Since 2015

    Book nerd for life!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Very Good Book for Any Relationship"
    Where does Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    A very good book about the insight of relationships. Top 10%.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I don't remember the names, but one woman left her long time boyfriend after having enough of their emotionally abusive relationship. She went on to marry someone who was secure. Her story stuck out because of how much she went through and how long she stayed, but she was still able to find true love.


    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    "unknown" doncaster, Australia 09-30-11
    "unknown" doncaster, Australia 09-30-11
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    "Attachment Theory - superb!"

    What a brilliant analysis on romatic relationships. This can save you hundreds in 'relationship' counselling fees. I fully recommend it.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dave Maddock Bellevue, WA United States 07-06-11
    Dave Maddock Bellevue, WA United States 07-06-11 Listener Since 2010
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    "Looking for an excuse to get divorced - read this"

    I tought the book was pretty good. However, I could see this book causing many people to believe they have irreconsilable differences and should divorce their spouse. There are tips for getting over some of the bad attachment matches, but it seems really focused on avoiding those match ups.

    He also really favors the insecure attachment style. IE - if your spouse is insecure - it is up to you to make them secure. This is oversimplified thinking and puts a ton of pressure on the other person.

    8 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Linette Woodbury, MN, United States 06-20-11
    Linette Woodbury, MN, United States 06-20-11 Member Since 2016
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    "Amazing"

    I am so mad at this writer for not writing this book along time ago. My life would have turned out alot different had I had this simple practicle advice. The concepts are so simple an easy to apply to your life that you will be amazed. Also, listening to the stories were like you were describing my relationship to a tee. I thought my situation with my partner was unique, yet I discovered that his ways of dealing in a relationship is as common as a snowy day in Minnesota. If you haven't guessed my ex is an Avoidant attachment style and I am anxious. I have been on a rollercoaster ride with him for 5 years. Now, I finally have the courage to get off. Thank you Amir Levine.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patrick United States 08-16-14
    Patrick United States 08-16-14 Member Since 2015

    Greetings. My brother introduced me to Audible in 2011. Since, nothing but enjoyment. Hopefully my reviews are very useful to you. Enjoy!

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    "Good book"
    What did you love best about Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love?

    It raises your awareness of your own weaknesses. Clearer understanding of who you are and just as important what traits the person you are dealing with has that can signal a red flag.


    What does Walter Dixon bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Clear voice nice to listen to. He's voice is charming and soothing.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Plenty


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Yuliya Novosibirsk, Russia 05-12-14
    Yuliya Novosibirsk, Russia 05-12-14
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    "interesting reading"

    The book describes the attachment system of adults. It also briefly describes the attachment system of children. According to attachment theory there are three attachment styles: "anxious", "avoidant" and "secure". The book describes how people with these attachment styles behave. It includes tests, which can help readers to recognize their own attachment style. The book includes a lot of examples of different situations and authors describe secure and insecure ways to deal with such situations in relationships. It was really an interesting reading. And the book looks scientifically.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    OK Tamease United States, NJ - Central Location 05-04-14
    OK Tamease United States, NJ - Central Location 05-04-14 Member Since 2014

    OK Tamease

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    "Ultra boring narration!"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    A more up beat narration.


    What was most disappointing about Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller ’s story?

    Circuitous narrative.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Walter Dixon’s performances?

    No.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Again, the narration was so boring and slow, I could hardly stand it.


    Any additional comments?

    I do not know where the authors derived their research, but the entire book just seemed like it was sloppily pasted together. Furthermore, the narration was EXTREMLY unpleasant. Years ago, the comics Bob & Ray did a skit entitled, “Slow Talkers of America.” I believe the narrator was a key member of that association. Just awful.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David San Jose, CA United States 02-21-14
    David San Jose, CA United States 02-21-14 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A very interesting view on relationships."

    A very interesting approach to relationships. This has added another interesting tool to both my own relationships tool belt and to the way I look at Relationships in my coaching practice. I've also been able to view my own shift to a secure attachment style, and see what communication elements are at work. I also gained an understanding of our attachment system which is another useful thing to understand. It has particularly helped with those relationships where the one is always fretting and the other distancing, and to understand what attracts them. Needed to get a hard copy as the audiobook gets tough when trying to describe a chart you'll be filling out.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Nita
    Edinburgh, United Kingdom
    7/12/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Eye opening"

    This book has been more useful in illuminating my relationship patterns and why I've kept repeating them than any other I've listened to. This information has helped me to let go of feelings of unworthiness and given me actual tools to work with - I'd say not just in romantic but all of my relationships. Highly recommended if you have what the authors call an anxious attachment style (and my guess is that many people who seek this kind of information do).

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    Liverpool, United Kingdom
    4/8/13
    Overall
    "Online Dating? READ THIS BOOK FIRST!"

    I read this book a few weeks into online dating on the best known online dating web site - which heavily advertises on TV. I had a spectacular number of unsuccessful dates and started to doubt myself. It was starting to really affect my confidence and my own attachment style was becoming more insecure. After I read this book I gained considerable insight into my dates Adult attachment styles which meant they weren't right for me anyway. When I finally met a partner I was mad about, I could explain to her how our different styles could compliment each other and develop interactions that would strengthen our relationship. I also found myself giving people some very sound advice based entirely on this book and my own observations. Thus book examines the considerable research into Adult attachment and also gives some very sound advice and strategies to strengthen relationships and avoid the relationships that would be wrong for you. I heartily recommend it as one of the best self help/psychology I have read in the last 18 months.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Marie
    Dublin, Ireland
    2/20/13
    Overall
    "Relatonships"

    This is a must for everyone in a relationship or about to enter a relationship. We should be thinking about the issues raised, when choosing a partner. The contents of this book are based on sound Attachment Theory and research. Everyone will recognise themselves and significant others. I'm a counsellor and it has been very helpful in understanding relationship difficulties. Excellent

    P.S. Why are there so few reviews on Audible. Amazon has loads of reviews of books and I find it very helpful

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Viktoria
    12/9/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Life changing! Loved every chapter"

    The book is an absolutely eye opener! Very rare find and I am certainly going to go back and listen to it again times and times over. Recommended!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • MRS
    Nottingham, United Kingdom
    3/13/12
    Overall
    "Everyone should read this!!!"

    What is explained in this book, awareness of our attachment styles and our emotional needs - and that we are RIGHT to have them -, is so fundamental that it should be taught at school to teenagers! It should be made into a TV series so that everyone can be aware of and make use of this knowledge every day!

    Amazing!!! AND scientifically based: How come it's not out there everywhere for everyone to learn about???

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    2/27/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not suitable as an audio book"

    The book clearly contains questionnaires and these don't translate well to the audio book format. To use them you'd have to have a pen while listening. I listen to audio books doing other things and this just isn't practical. Ignoring them left me bored and simultaneously feeling like I'd missed important insight.

    My view is this is not a suitable book for the audible format. Buy the written version instead.

    I abandoned...

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • shweta
    2/27/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Amazing"

    loved every bit if this book. wish I'd read it much earlier in my lifetime to understand myself and people around me. highly recommended

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Mrs E. Whapshott
    1/8/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Interesting"

    I liked the examples this book gives so that you can identify relatively easily what type of person you are in your current : previous relationships.
    I also like the fact the it explains how if you have an anxious or avoidant traits that this is ok, and tells you how to work on these traits to help you and your partner grow together and fix or indeed not.
    You can gage from the book whether you are in a healthy relationship.

    Some of the examples are a bit OTT.... Other than this it's an amazing book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Lee
    1/3/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Potentially life (and love life) changing!"

    This book was very absorbing from the start and there were so many moments where I recognised behaviour types in my own life.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Louise
    10/12/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Excellent"

    Has helped disappointed when it finished, need more advice and want to find out more.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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