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Where the Hell Is Tesla?
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Rob Dircks
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's summary
Sci-fi odyssey. Comedy. Love story. And of course, Nikola Tesla.
I'll let Chip, the main character, tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an “INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSFER APPARATUS" - that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that's just where the crazy starts."
Chip's Official Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you're listening to this - trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.
Or did they?
I'm kidding. Of course they didn't.
Or did they?
God, I can't keep my big mouth shut.
Critic reviews
"★★★★★ This novel is hilarious. I was smiling throughout the entire book.” (AudiobookReviewer.com)
"Hilarious time-travel odyssey.” (Kirkus Reviews Magazine, June 2017)
“So many legitimate laugh-out-loud moments, and such an original idea and voice. Great read!” (Dan Bova, Entrepreneur.com)
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- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
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The Punch Escrow
- By: Tal M. Klein
- Narrated by: Matthew Mercer
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Joel Byram is an everyday 22nd century guy. He spends his days training artificial-intelligence engines to act more human, jamming out to 1980s new wave - an extremely obscure genre - and trying to salvage his deteriorating marriage. Joel is pretty much an everyday guy with everyday problems - until he's accidentally duplicated while teleporting. Now Joel must outsmart the shadowy organization that controls teleportation, outrun the religious sect out to destroy it, and find a way to get back to the woman he loves.
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Great Premise, terrible execution
- By Perfect Tommy on 09-25-17
By: Tal M. Klein
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Waste of Space
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg, Maxwell Glick
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Cram 10 hormonal teens into a spaceship and blast off: that's the premise for the ill-conceived reality show Waste of Space. The kids who are cast know everything about drama - and nothing about the fact that the production is fake. Hidden in a desert warehouse, their spaceship replica is equipped with state-of-the-art special effects dreamed up by the scientists partnering with the shady cable network airing the show.
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#CatchPhraseForever
- By Diane S. on 07-28-17
By: Gina Damico
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Double Digit
- By: Annabel Monaghan
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
To say eighteen-year-old Farrah Higgins—or Digit—is good at math is a laughable understatement. She’s been cracking codes since childhood, and is finally at home with “her people” at MIT in Cambridge. Her talents are so off the charts that her laptop is under surveillance by both the CIA and an ecoterrorist named Jonas Furnis. So when she thoughtlessly hacks into the Department of Defense’s database, she lands in serious hot water inside and outside the law.
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Great Follow Up
- By Lifeisshort on 05-23-14
By: Annabel Monaghan
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The Dirty Streets of Heaven
- Volume One of Bobby Dollar
- By: Tad Williams
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Bobby Dollar is an angel - a real one. He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby’s wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own - pride, anger, even lust. But his problems aren’t all his fault. Bobby can’t entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he’s not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions.
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Angel Noir
- By Michael on 10-17-12
By: Tad Williams
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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Hellbent
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 2
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
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Nice Second Installment
- By Tiffani on 09-02-11
By: Cherie Priest
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His Banana
- Objects of Attraction Series, Book 1
- By: Penelope Bloom
- Narrated by: C. J. Bloom, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break... No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too....I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire's banana, I got my first real assignment as a business reporter.
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Fun, Funny and Sexy!
- By Kindle Customer on 01-08-19
By: Penelope Bloom
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
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Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
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#1 in Customer Service
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Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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On June 30, 1908, an object fell from the sky, releasing more energy than a thousand Hiroshima bombs. A Siberian forest was flattened, but the strike left no significant crater. The anomaly came to be known as the Tunguska Event, and scientists have never agreed whether it was the largest meteor strike in recorded history - or something else. Alien artifacts have been uncovered since the 1908 event, and a new star drive is discovered.
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Het
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What an amazing find!
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A Short Stay in Hell
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An ordinary family man, geologist, and Mormon, Soren Johansson has always believed he'll be reunited with his loved ones after death in an eternal hereafter. Then, he dies. Soren wakes to find himself cast by a God he has never heard of into a Hell whose dimensions he can barely grasp: a vast library he can only escape from by finding the book that contains the story of his life. In this haunting existential novella, author, philosopher, and ecologist Steven L. Peck explores a subversive vision of eternity.
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Beautifully unsettling
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Children of Time
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Adrian Tchaikovksy's critically acclaimed stand-alone novel Children of Time is the epic story of humanity's battle for survival on a terraformed planet. Who will inherit this new Earth? The last remnants of the human race left a dying Earth, desperate to find a new home among the stars. Following in the footsteps of their ancestors, they discover the greatest treasure of the past age - a world terraformed and prepared for human life. But all is not right in this new Eden.
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A very pleasant surprise
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What listeners say about Where the Hell Is Tesla?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Cheri
- 08-11-16
Had A Blast Listening To This One!
Wow, one of the funniest stories I've listened too this year! I loved the adventures of Chip and Pete! The plot and characters were hilarious! This is one of those stories no matter what type of mood you are in, as soon as you start playing it, you are guaranteed a smile, and a laugh. I'm definitely keeping this story on my iPad for days I need a pick me up or a good laugh.
Not only was the story AWESOME, the narration was PERFECT! I'm skeptical about authors who narrate their own stories (I've heard a few bad ones), but Rob Dirks totally nails it! I know he delivered this story just like he imagined it, and you can hear and feel the passion he has for both the story, and characters. I can't imagine anyone not liking this one!
Absolutely worth a credit and the time!
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- Michael G Kurilla
- 09-07-15
Comedic romp in the multiverse with Nicola
Rob Dircks' Where the Hell is Tesla? is a light-hearted comedic escapade with the only criticism that it's far too short. Based on the theme of the 80's films, Bill and Ted's whatever or the earlier Hope and Crosby 'on the road' films, two millennial slackers types stumble onto the missing notebook of Nicola Tesla that describes the construction of a transdimensional portal (conveniently located in a NYC hotel closet) leading to an infinity of alternate universes. As they wander about, they encounter varying situations that sometimes include variants of themselves. Their goal is to find Tesla who is being keep prisoner by an evil madman intent on destroying the alternate realities until he can rule the only remaining universe. The tale is related in a series of emails to a girlfriend.
The sci-fi elements are deeply set in the physics realm with alternate realities with all the potential paradoxes handled nicely. In some instances, the boys have near superpower abilities due to different environments. In other cases, they meet vastly more successful versions of themselves. There's a good mixture of bizarre and strange creatures and locals. As expected, their approach and responses to all the strange and unusual happenings is whimsical and offbeat, but they manage to save the day.
The narration is superb with a good range of voices. Most importantly, as a comedy, delivery is critical and comes off with the aplomb of a standup comedian delivering a live show. This is a quick listen due to the nonstop actions and laughs. Caution is advised when listening however, as the jokes are sufficient to cause uncontrolled belly laughs.
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67 people found this helpful
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- Julie W. Capell
- 08-23-15
JGC review
very creative but fragmented in continuity, too much swearing and dude it's PETE AND I....
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- Roc Mom
- 12-16-15
You Need This Book
Witty, well written, and completely enchanting. Dricks balances mad-cap crazy with a sincerely and honesty that tire the story together. The realistic characters (including a furry alien) are endearing and grounded as they navigate a multiverse. I was sad to say goodbye when it ended. A very special book and the author's narration is fantastic. Listen. Listen now.
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- Lomeraniel
- 11-08-17
Absolutely hilarious
On his first day as a security guard for the FBI, Chip Collins finds a lost journal of Nikola Tesla, where there is an explanation about one of his inventions, unknown to the world: The Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus. Chip and his friend Pete decide to see how the ITA works, but get lost in it. Only Tesla will be able to help them, but first they will need to rescue Tesla.
After loving The Wrong Unit I had to listen to this one too. I really like Dircks style, and although he is not a profesional narrator (as far as I know he just narrated his own books), he has great narration and audio production skills.
This is kind of an epistolary novel, each chapter is an email from Chip to his ex-girlfriend Julie, where he explain the latest events and also tries to make amends to try to gain her heart again. Chip is one of those people who just appreciates what he is lost when it is too late and things get ugly. I am forgiving him because he is totally hilarious, and deep down he has a good heart.
I was very curious about how Tesla was going to be portrayed and used as a character in the novel, since he is a very interesting historical character, really unappreciated but very important nonetheless. Just let me tell you that if you are expecting something real about Tesla, you will not find in in this book. Tesla is just used as a forgotten genius with quite some great inventions under his belt, a visionary, who spent his last years forgotten and broke. He might as well have created something like the ITA and then fallen into oblivion.
I laughed out loud listening to this book, but I have to say that I expecting something more. It could be that I tend to dislike when authors abuse of Deus ex Machina, and there is a lot of it here (it's even mentioned in the text). The book was all the time ridiculously funny, but with time that got old (for me, at least). The concept of the ITA and the infinite hall was very graphic, but the rules about combinations and other stuff were quite arbitrary and it seemed that changed depending on what was needed at the moment.
Rob Dircks did a great job narrating this book, and it amazes me that he does not do this professionally. He delivered different voices for all the characters, even using a different accent for Tesla. Everything is done in a subtle way, and the audio production is spotless.
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- Deft
- 12-21-15
cute, cheesy, and wonderfully done!
Listened to this on the wife's recommendation. i didn't know what to expect at first, but things quickly take off and you're running right away! This book is just plain fun and I'm looking forward to more from this author!
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- Lady
- 05-24-15
Best Tesla-inspired Story In the Audio Stacks
Fictionalized Tesla stories were in vogue a couple of years ago, but after listening to a few of them, I decided to forego purchasing any others because, far too often, they seemed overworked and boring. They took themselves, science, and Tesla wayyy to seriously. Tesla's real life story held more intrigue than many of the fictional versions did. When I found the Dircks story, I listened to the excerpt out of a strange compulsion, possibly from mental programming from all the past Tesla tales. I'm glad I pushed the play button on this one. In my opinion, and despite all of the obligatory "dude" vulgarity, Dircks has written a laugh-out-loud, can't stop listening story in which Tesla is given his due as a futurist and scientist, well ahead of his time. Chip and Pete are also fun characters with the type of "bro" friendship that would play well in a feature film. This is a slick, well-told tale. Could it have been told with less use of the "F" word? Absolutely. The potty humor was a bit overdone too. However, a real argument can be made that the characters are people we know and they certainly ring true to life, no cardboard stereotypes here. So,it's all a matter of staying true to the characters, and the author did that. I'm hoping this is the first in a series. Would love a "What the blank Is Einstein Thinking?" or "Don't Trust Edison!" If he could pull off the same kind of madcap, LOL intellectualism that he managed in the Tesla story, Dircks might just be the inventor of a new and very popular genre.
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- Alice
- 06-06-18
Not my kind of humour
The heavy handed teenage boy humour sort of put me off, but I kept on going until the end.
There is one single plot and nothing that really grabbed my attention.
I found the use of correspondence interesting and a source of comical moments, so that did not bother me.
I guess you're supposed to identify with the main character. He's a loser. He's not particularly good at anything. He's helpless in many situations and useless most of the time. Sure. That's anyone.
But he's so proud of it? In the latest chapters he BRAGS about not helping because he's so useless and annoying that he's a nuisance. That is so irritating.
The last time I felt so "ugh" about a character's attitude was Paul Atreides but at least he helps. (so much it's unrealistic)
I dunno. I guess this isn't bad if it's your thing, but I won't be reading any further. I have Young Adult books that develop much more layered and engaging characters. And storylines. Plural. That.
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- Midwestbonsai
- 06-08-16
I was smiling throughout the entire book
Where the Hell is Tesla? by Rob Dircks follows the antics of Chip and Pete as they travel through the Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus, a device designed and created by Nicola Tesla. The Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus acts a portal to parallel universes. Having inadvertently gotten lost, Chip and Pete wander through in the Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus and different parallel dimensions trying to figure out how to return to their own universe. Soon they discover that the only way to get back to their own universe is to find and save Nicola Tesla himself from the evil villain, Who, and save the universes.
This novel is hilarious. I was smiling throughout the entire book. It is written entirely as emails from Chip to his ex-girlfriend. At first I wasn’t sure if this would work well. But it was perfect. It really allowed the reader to get to know Chip and Pete, through Chip’s eyes. Ultimately, this isn’t a story to take too seriously. That being said, it was well written, and humor was intelligently incorporated. And the style chosen allowed the reader to see how Chip’s emotions do and don’t change as he and Pete experience this somewhat traumatic adventure. The plot is just so funny. There is a lot of silliness with almost every aspect of the novel. They find an odd creature in the Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus and they travel to other dimensions. In these universes, they have all types of adventures, including almost being killed, low gravity, super heroism, and they meet different versions of themselves. I really liked how the different versions of Chip and Pete and how they were so different. It really makes you think about how someone becomes who they are. While Chip’s emails are full of stories about their silly antics, and an ongoing comedic commentary, there are also coping mechanisms for the despair and loneliness that is plaguing him in the Interdimensional Apparatus as he and Pete continue their journey. I also really like all of the other characters in the story and their interactions with Chip and Pete were fun to listen to. The plot doesn’t lag much as a result of the comedic commentary even when there are no real actions being taken. The format of the emails helps with that.
This novel was narrated by Rob Dircks himself and I must say I’m impressed. He did a great job with the delivery with voicing Chip and the other characters through Chip’s voice. I wonder if this is because he wrote the characters and so knows the characters really well. I would like to hear another novel narrated by him. The production quality was also good. I would recommend this novel to anyone who likes fun, hilarious, science fiction stories.
Audiobook was provided for review by the author.
Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog
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- carmen
- 04-11-16
Great adventure story
I like to get my geek on with alternative universes involving historical characters. This fits the bill. This was in my wish list for a long time and I am sorry about that because it was an enjoyable adventure about alternate universes. I don't like comparing with other other authors but it was a cross between the excitement of Peter Clines and the heart of John Scalzi. Not quite there yet, but enough to be really enjoyable. The only thing that might put it over the top is if Wil Wheaton would have narrated. The author did a good job it's just these are the kind of characters Wheaton really embodies.
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