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The Dark Lord's Handbook Audiobook

The Dark Lord's Handbook

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Publisher's Summary

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward, but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, and battles to be fought. After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would-be tyrants. He wrote an easy-to-follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others. It had been hundreds of years, and the Handbook was lost in the annals of time, along with all that was mythic and exciting in the world. Then one day, a randy dragon had a chance encounter. Nine months later a Dark Lord was born. In time, the Handbook found its way to this new contender: Morden.

©2008 Paul Dale (P)2014 Tantor

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (266 )
5 star
 (114)
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 (94)
3 star
 (42)
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1 star
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Overall
4.1 (252 )
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Story
4.4 (252 )
5 star
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4 star
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3 star
 (20)
2 star
 (8)
1 star
 (2)
Performance
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  •  
    Kulain 01-12-15
    Kulain 01-12-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    10
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    15
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    "Started out good but turned into a drag"
    Would you try another book from Paul Dale and/or Gildart Jackson?

    No, this felt like a cringe worthy attempt at a disc world novel.


    What could Paul Dale have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    Learn to actually develop characters instead of just talking about how they are suppose to be, and possible add some women who are annoying as hell and actually have more than 1 dimension of being evil/contrary/hot. Also... maybe come up with a more original name for the dragon than the one right out of World of Warcraft? Come on! He even mentions the Black Dragonflight WTF?


    What didn’t you like about Gildart Jackson’s performance?

    Spoke way too slowly and the voice acting as lady deathwing was unbearable, also the accents changed randomly so you can't tell who he is suppose to be.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Dark Lord's Handbook?

    The entire middle section about a pointless voyage and a ridiculous war.


    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sean 07-31-15
    Sean 07-31-15 Member Since 2016

    "Not all those who wander are lost" -JRR Tolkien

    HELPFUL VOTES
    53
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    103
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    Story
    ""Beware the monologue!""


    Every hero has a beginning, but what about the villians? If it weren't for villains there would be no heroes, and that's where this story begins. Dale was able to craft a humorous novel about becoming a Dark Lord that made sense. The handbook spoke to the Dark Lord in-training of getting caught up in monologue while a hero is present, or putting all your power and energy into a single magical item just to lose it (as if it personally knew Sauron itself).

    Most of the advice given by the handbook are phrases you may already be familiar with, but with a twist.
    Ex: "Absolute power corrupts absolutely, but isn't that the point?"

    This novel is certainly not for everyone, but if you play Dungeons & Dragons and looking for a guide to creating your next star villain then this is not a bad choice.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jens 10-11-16
    Jens 10-11-16 Member Since 2014
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    7
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    Story
    "Quirky"

    I enjoyed it, especially when the book took a short break to talk about economy

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amanda 08-23-16
    Amanda 08-23-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Started slow"

    I loved the characters, but I felt like things only got about 60% developed through the first 3/4 of the book.

    The chancellor was clearly the best character and was also one of the least exposed.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ariel 07-29-16
    Ariel 07-29-16 Member Since 2016
    ratings
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    25
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    Story
    "Hilarious!"

    This story actually made me snort a few times at work! I must for anyone who enjoys subtle comedy.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rickey 06-06-16
    Rickey 06-06-16 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "better than i anticipated"

    my only negative comment is that the middle of the book was slow and seemed to informative vs just a good story

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-16-16 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "some nice twists"

    a nice twist on the dark leaf hero thing, interesting development of the characters. I'd be interested in a sequel

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    jayke norman 10-06-15 Member Since 2013
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    40
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    Performance
    Story
    "villian you want to win"

    the world is corrupt and needs to be ruled what's morden to do. except take up the calling. even if he does it for himself he is justified in his actions. with a villainous hero on his tail morden can't fail in his as it would be his end.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer NYC 09-04-15
    Amazon Customer NYC 09-04-15 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    173
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    "I have a feeling Putin read this book"

    Funny book with many amusing trope references. A look at the stereotypical rising hero story but from the other side.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Yury Brooklyn, NY, United States 08-01-15
    Yury Brooklyn, NY, United States 08-01-15 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
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    12
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    "Paul, give us another!"
    If you could sum up The Dark Lord's Handbook in three words, what would they be?

    I miss the characters and plot lines from my life. Paul, be a pale, write another handbook.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • C. Ferguson
    10/18/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Really rather boring..."

    Very disappointing
    It sets itself up as a tongue in cheek look at the whole fantasy 'hero vs villain' thing, but quicky loses the plot.

    The titular Dark Lord in training doesnt have much of the charisma or eccentricities you'd expect of someone going into the world domination buisiness. In fact he doesnt seem to make very many decisions on his own at all, spending most of his time being pushed around by plot devices rather than any motivation of his own.
    The bloodthirsty hero is a joke that sorely needed a punchline
    Much of the supporting cast seem to be irrelevant to the plot completely, Chancellor Penbury in particular didnt seem to do much of anything for the amount of time the story wastes on him.

    Also, they travel east to discover "yellow orcs with slanty eyes"
    Really? For shame Paul Dale


    Though this is far from the worst Fantasy I've ever read (Talking to you Ben Hale), I would not suggest this book to others. Instead, try Pratchett and Gaiman's "Good Omens"

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Owen Cliffe
    12/22/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "An unexpectedly good read"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    The book grows from the same ground as Terry Pratchett, Tom Holt and Robert Asprin and balances dry humour with a solid story.


    What does Gildart Jackson bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    The reading is superlative and complements the text well.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Susan
    HOVE, United Kingdom
    3/23/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great fun"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I thought this would be a predictable rip off of similar amusing fantasy novels. But it wasn't at all. A delightfully amusing diversion. The story of Morden, who's career choice is being a dark lord. Made me laugh and kept me thoroughly entertained.


    What other book might you compare The Dark Lord's Handbook to, and why?

    Terry Pratchet....


    Have you listened to any of Gildart Jackson’s other performances? How does this one compare?

    Yes I have...he does comedic narration very well. Good array of charachters


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Cant say that with out giving the story away


    Any additional comments?

    Well worth a credit. Good story and good narration and great entertainment value. There is a second book which I hope audible brings out.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Marc
    10/20/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "An Unexpected Favourite"

    After adding Gildart Jackson to my favourite narrators I was recommended The Dark Lord's Handbook by Audible and really enjoyed it. The characters and story are well crafted and I hope this story continues. A must read for any fantasy fan.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • James
    Mansfield, United Kingdom
    4/24/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A Dark Lord Rises!.....cocks it up and tries again"

    I wasn't sure about this when i started listening but the story and characters really got me in the end. the narration was excellent.

    It's a fantasy book from the dark lords point of view , those difficult teenage years, trying to fit in, early success and bending the rest of the school to your will!

    Its about being good at being bad, and being bad at being good.

    I enjoyed the foul mouthed love interested, the Machiavellian chancellor and the truly thick hero.

    For the fist time you will be cheering for the dark side.

    Id like to see what comes next for Morden

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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