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Jane Carver of Waar
- Waar, Book 1
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 12 hrs
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Editorial reviews
When tough-talking biker babe Jane Carver accidentally deals a death blow to the unfortunate guy who gropes her outside a California biker bar, she makes a run for it - and wakes up naked on an alien planet called Waar. Thus begins Nathan Long's Jane Carver of Waar: Waar, Book 1, a hilarious satire on the ribald, retro space fantasies of the 20th century. Soon, Jane's hopelessly wrapped up in bizarre adventures on this planet of sky-pirates and gladiators, including a bid to help a fallen nobleman win back his sexy space princess. Listeners will be bewitched by actress Dina Pearlman's portrayal of Jane, whose Marlboro-cured voice and confident panache makes her swashbuckling space adventures a delightful listen.
Publisher's summary
Jane Carver is nobody's idea of a space princess. A hard-ridin', hard-lovin' biker chick and ex-Airborne Ranger, Jane is as surprised as anyone else when, on the run from the law, she ducks into the wrong cave at the wrong time - and wakes up butt-naked on an exotic alien planet light-years away from everything she's ever known. Waar is a savage world of four-armed tiger-men, sky-pirates, slaves, gladiators, and purple-skinned warriors in thrall to a bloodthirsty code of honor and chivalry. Caught up in a disgraced nobleman's quest to win back the hand of a sexy alien princess, Jane encounters bizarre wonders and dangers unlike anything she ever ran into back home. Then again, Waar has never seen anyone like Jane before.
Both a loving tribute and scathing parody of the swashbuckling space fantasies of yore, Jane Carver of Waar introduces an unforgettable new science-fiction heroine. Nathan Long is a screen and prose writer with two movies, a Saturday-morning adventure series, and several TV episodes to his name. His official website is: www.sabrepunk.com.
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,618
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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The Sword-Edged Blonde
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,389
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,151
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,137
It should have been a case like any other: a missing princess, a king willing to pay in gold for her return. But before he realizes it, private investigator Eddie LaCrosse, a slightly shopworn sword jockey with a talent for discretion and detection, is swept up in a web of mystery and deceit involving a brutally murdered royal heir, a queen accused of an unspeakable crime, and the tragic past he thought he'd left behind.
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2 out of 5 stars
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No Redeeming Qualities
- By MightyMite68 on 09-27-20
By: Alex Bledsoe
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Cry Havoc
- Jack Frey, Book 1
- By: Mike Morris
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 135
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 134
They say when the demons come, you either fight or you die.The Black Dogs know this all too well. For three hundred years, the warrior priests have sacrificed their lives to keep the island nation of Abios safe from the flesh-eating Nostros, while the rest of the world fell under the demons' savagery. However, an armada now stands poised to invade mankind's last bastion.
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5 out of 5 stars
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truly evil enemies
- By VJG on 02-01-18
By: Mike Morris
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Heroes Die
- The First of the Acts of Caine
- By: Matthew Stover
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 22 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,537
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,385
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,381
Renowned throughout the land of Ankhana as the Blade of Tyshalle, Caine has killed his share of monarchs and commoners, villains and heroes. He is relentless, unstoppable, simply the best there is at what he does. At home on Earth, Caine is Hari Michaelson, a superstar whose adventures in Ankhana command an audience of billions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Don't Let the Cover Turn You Off
- By Paul on 08-13-12
By: Matthew Stover
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Scarlet
- By: A. C. Gaughen
- Narrated by: Helen Stern
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 315
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 289
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Story4 out of 5 stars 287
Posing as one of Robin Hood's thieves to avoid the evil Lord Gisbourne, Scarlet has kept her identity secret from all of Nottinghamshire. Only Big John and Robin Hood know the truth - that the agile thief posing as a whip of a boy is actually a fearless young woman with a secret past. It's getting harder to hide as Gisbourne's camp seeks to find Scarlet and drive Robin Hood out of Nottinghamshire. But Scarlet's instinct for self-preservation is at war with a strong sense of responsibility to the people who took her in when she was on the run, and she finds it's not so easy to turn her back on her band and townspeople.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gender Bending in Sherwood Forrest
- By Susie on 03-02-15
By: A. C. Gaughen
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The Archemi Online Chronicles Boxset: Books 1, 2 & 3
- A LitRPG Epic Fantasy Series (The Archemi Online Chronicles)
- By: James Osiris Baldwin
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Laurie Catherine Winkel, and others
- Length: 45 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 112
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 95
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 95
Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother offers him something even better: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
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5 out of 5 stars
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love this
- By Linda on 07-03-23
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Royal Bastards
- By: Andrew Shvarts
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
Being a bastard blows. Tilla would know. Her father, Lord Kent of the Western Province, loved her as a child but cast her aside as soon as he had trueborn children. At 16 Tilla spends her days exploring long-forgotten tunnels beneath the castle with her stablehand half brother, Jax, and her nights drinking with the servants, passing out on Jax's floor while her castle bedroom collects dust. Tilla secretly longs to sit by her father's side, enjoying feasts with the rest of the family.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Reading is not the same as the physical copy
- By Annelle Powell on 07-09-18
By: Andrew Shvarts
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 941
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 854
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 855
In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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1 out of 5 stars
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,690
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,567
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,560
Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Ariel
- By: Steven R. Boyett
- Narrated by: Ramon De Ocampo
- Length: 13 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 74
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
It's been five years since the lights went out, cars stopped in the streets, and magical creatures began roaming Earth. Pete Garey survived the Change, trusting no one but himself until the day he met Ariel - a unicorn who brought new meaning and adventure to his life.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Unique Love Story in a Fantasy Novel
- By David on 06-11-15
By: Steven R. Boyett
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Dark and Stormy Knights
- By: Ilona Andrews, Jim Butcher, Shannon K Butcher, and others
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman, Joe Barrett, Marc Vietor, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,211
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,006
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,010
It was a dark and stormy knight, and nine dark defenders embarked upon a most perilous quest. They're the ultimate defenders of humanity, modern day knights who do dark deeds for all the right reasons. In this all-star collection, nine of today's hottest paranormal authors bring us thrilling, all-new stories of supernatural knights that are brimming with magic mystery and mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bought this for Dresden, loved the rest!
- By Moon River on 06-27-12
By: Ilona Andrews, and others
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Rot & Ruin
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Brian Hutchison
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,668
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,367
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,378
Fifteen-year-old Benny Imura lives in a world infested with zombies where, when a kid turns 15, he must get a job to continue receiving food rations. Benny has no interest in the family business of zombie killing, but figures he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’s tried out a bunch of other jobs, and hasn’t found anything he likes. But as Benny starts training with his brother, he learns things about being human that he never expected.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just when you thought it was safe.....
- By Amanda H. on 05-12-11
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Palace Job
- Rogues of the Republic, Book 1
- By: Patrick Weekes
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,187
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,074
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,069
Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasn’t in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Awful narration
- By 9littlebees on 12-18-15
By: Patrick Weekes
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The Black Company
- Chronicles of The Black Company, Book 1
- By: Glen Cook
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 6,194
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,325
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,327
Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hard Boiled Morally Ambiguous Epic Fantasy
- By Jefferson on 03-18-11
By: Glen Cook
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Ink Mage
- A Fire Beneath the Skin, Book 1
- By: Victor Gischler
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,705
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,460
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,465
In the first installment of the A Fire Beneath the Skin trilogy, the city of Klaar has never fallen. No enemy has ever made it across the Long Bridge or penetrated the city's mighty walls. Even when a powerful invading army shows up at the gates, the duke and his daughter, Rina Veraiin, are certain that it poses little threat. But they are cruelly betrayed from within and, in a horrific spasm of violence, the city is brought to its knees.
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5 out of 5 stars
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mixed feelings
- By Elvira on 10-28-15
By: Victor Gischler
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The Sleeping Dragon
- Guardians of the Flame, Book 1
- By: Joel Rosenberg
- Narrated by: Keith Silverstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 722
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 660
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 660
It began as just another evening of fantasy gaming with James, Karl, Andrea, and the rest ready to assume their various roles as wizard, cleric, warrior, or thief. But sorcerous gamemaster Professor Deighton had something else planned for this unsuspecting group of college students. And the "game" soon became a matter of life and death as the seven adventurers found themselves transported to an alternate world and into the bodies of the actual characters they had been pretending to be....
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Self Image Cast in Stone Could Shatter
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-19-13
By: Joel Rosenberg
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Shadow Magic
- By: Joshua Khan
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Thorn, an outlaw's son, wasn't supposed to be a slave. He's been sold to Tyburn, an executioner, and they're headed to Castle Gloom in Gehenna, the land of the undead, where Thorn will probably be fed to a vampire. Lilith Shadow wasn't supposed to be ruler of Gehenna. But following the murder of her family, young Lily became the last surviving member of House Shadow, a long line of dark sorcerers. Her country is surrounded by enemies, and the only way she can save it is by embracing her heritage and practicing the magic of the undead.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great first book!
- By Bob Zelm on 03-31-20
By: Joshua Khan
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The Breakers Omnibus
- Books 1-3 and Prequel Novella
- By: Edward W. Robertson
- Narrated by: Ray Chase
- Length: 42 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,409
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,110
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,091
Books 1-3 and the prequel novella of the Breakers series.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So glad I downloaded this one.
- By Stevie Havoc on 11-16-15
What listeners say about Jane Carver of Waar
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- CrunchySocks
- 05-16-20
Very Edgar Rice Burroughs
Good swashbuckling story. Very ERB without the racism. A bit crude in parts, but nothing too bad.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Wendy M. Muehlenweg
- 06-23-13
Just wish I hadn't bought it!
If the author had wanted the main character to be a guy, he should have written her as a guy... Think BIG, Think Butch and Think UGLY. The pretty guys are gay... the big butch girl is a lesbian in the story because no 'man' wants her (because of how big, butch and ugly she is)... I just felt insulted by the stereotypical roles playing out. I liked the John Carter setting.. but if the rest was supposed to be some subtle tongue-in-cheek, I just didn't get it.
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7 people found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- James C. Poland
- 10-21-17
Disappointing
I've read John Carter and also the Gor novels so I thought I'd give this one a try given the many positive reviews. I found the overuse of earth metaphors being simply grasped by aliens to unbelievable and tiring. Nothing much original in the storyline. This is the first book from Audible that I would return.
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7 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Lane D. Callahan
- 02-19-14
Not even 2 dimensional
Alright, John Carter of Mars was written in the infancy of Science Fiction. I always enjoyed its simplicity and straight forwardness. The characters in it a two dimensional because of that infancy. This book is less than that. For one, I hate swearing in Science fiction. It is a genre that doesn't need it. 2. I TRIED to get into this book with the same excitement that I have for A Princess of Mars but I just couldn't finish it. The author tried too hard to be like ERB and failed in the attempt.
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17 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Keithwsr
- 05-28-14
Poor Rip Off of John Carter
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
Someone who has not read the real thing in the John Carter series by Burroughs
Has Jane Carver of Waar turned you off from other books in this genre?
No just this writer
What didn’t you like about Dina Pearlman’s performance?
The voices turned me off But mostly the story was lame at best.
What character would you cut from Jane Carver of Waar?
All
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11 people found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Tamara
- 12-09-14
Grammar Nazis Avoid!
I can deal with language variances for "aliens and other races" but a gal from L.A. using "me" improperly (ie: "me and him went and did xyz") got very old, quite fast ... perhaps if her dialog was completely askew it wouldn't have been so intolerable /shrugs
Personally, I felt like the narrator was yelling at me the entire book. I had to take breaks strictly for this reason.
FYI
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5 people found this helpful