We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary Audiobook

How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

Regular Price:$19.95
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

From the author of the international best-seller The Stone Man, shortlisted for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015.

In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety.

It's 1998. The Internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen-year-old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante.

There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel.

What do you believe in? And more importantly, should you?

©2016 Luke Smitherd (P)2016 Luke Smitherd

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.6 (13 )
5 star
 (9)
4 star
 (3)
3 star
 (1)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (0)
Overall
4.6 (13 )
5 star
 (9)
4 star
 (3)
3 star
 (1)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (0)
Story
4.8 (13 )
5 star
 (10)
4 star
 (3)
3 star
 (0)
2 star
 (0)
1 star
 (0)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Michelle Kennedy Murphy, TX United States 09-19-16
    Michelle Kennedy Murphy, TX United States 09-19-16 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    30
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    13
    9
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fantastic story!"

    Absolutely adored this story. So many laugh out loud moments, it makes you want to share them with someone. At times absolutely hilarious and others so heart wrenching, this was such an engaging and enjoyable story. Can't recommend it highly enough, you won't be disappointed.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jayg324 NC 09-27-16
    Jayg324 NC 09-27-16

    Jamie Grudzinski

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brilliant! "

    Everyone loves a vigilante especially when they are self taught ! Not only is the plot fantastic and Luke captures your attention from the first page, but his voice is the narrator and takes this from a great audiobook to an experience! Highly recommend downloading this and his other works. I promise you won't be disappointed! Captivating, Enthralling, Fast paced, and just downright excellent!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Big 09-19-16
    Big 09-19-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny, moving and devastating"
    What does Luke Smitherd bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    A great performance. Thoroughly believable.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I binged the whole thing.


    Any additional comments?

    This book moves from being a comedy to an absolutely devastating finale. Original and engaging, I haven't really heard anything like it before. Highly recommended.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • valkyrie
    9/30/16
    Overall
    "A cracking audiobook"

    This is the first Luke Smitherd book that I have read and I have to say that the buzz surrounding this author is well deserved, this is a gripping story that constantly has you yearning to hear more.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • BSM
    MA, USA
    9/29/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Buy everything by this author. I have, no regrets"

    I must admit this book is quite a change for Luke Smitherd, but I love it! I have read all of Mr Smitherd's work and he is my favorite new author. He has created an impressive body of work, and this "old one" can proudly join. This diary of a young and troubled man is so realistic and yet so far out there that you experience this person in his whole, building confidence insanity. He will save the world, if he doesn't destroy it first.
    The range of emotions you will feel as you read (or devour, as I did) this book is amazing. Luke Smitherd has the most twisted imagination in modern sf/fantasy. Do yourself a favor, read this book, read all his books. They are all great, and each is unique and captivating.

    I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Proud member of the Smithereens!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • cheryl
    Sittingbourne, United Kingdom
    9/28/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Recommended"

    Another enjoyable listen narrated by the author. Never fails to engage and entertain. Definitely recommend this and any other works by Luke Smitherd

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • david
    portsmouth, United Kingdom
    9/27/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "50/50"

    I have just finished listening and although entertaining i am not quite sure what to think.

    In the darkness, had a very similar setting and feeling but somehow had a depth to it that got you thinking, it was something very different. Which is what was missing from this.

    Without spoiling the story the buildup was very interesting, it felt like what he was writing was far from what was happening in real life and a clever twist would come at any moment. But what we receive instead is quite a hard going last hour which is not at all pleasant to listen too.

    The good thing is, the book keeps you listening and the temptation to binge listen is there throughout.

    Just wish it had a little more to offer.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Sir Lister
    9/27/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Emotive, funny, tragic!"

    Another amazing offering from Luke Smithered. I'll admit, when I read the bio of this book I wasn't sure I'd like it. I'm not a fan of kick-ass and the bio read similar. So I was pleasantly surprised how unique and original the story was. The main character Nigel is a bit of an odd ball, slightly out of touch with reality - but likeable. I found myself feeling so sorry for him on occasions especially when he couldn't see what everyone else could. His vulnerability and naivety really added to some of the comic moments in the book. I was pretty much hooked from the beginning and couldn't wait to see how it was going to end. I can't recommend this book enough. The narration by Luke is first class. He adds so much emotion and depth to the story, It's a compelling listen. Don't hesitate! You won't regret it!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Tamsin White
    9/27/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Left me reeling"

    Beautifully performed ,this story had me laughing and crying in equal measure, I look forward to the next!

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • 451
    London
    9/26/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The Nightman Cometh "

    Luke Smitherd is one of those rare talents who seems to work harder with each success, rather than lapsing into repetition or outright parody. The nearest of his contemporaries would probably be Edgar Wright and this novel would have fit admirably within the Cornetto universe. Try to imagine the Dark Knight saga, told by a young Alan Partridge and you'll be able to grasp a little of the lunacy submitted for your approval.

    It's true that the rise and ultimate fate of the hero is as inevitable as night following day. Smitherd invites us to share the sunset, watching as he sends his fondest creation out into the darkness. Indeed it's the feeling that Smitherd cares deeply for Nigel that endears him to us, sharing the simple joy and nostalgia of the dreamer. There's nobility in our hero, though Smith never descends into outright pathos, knowing when to manipulate our sympathy and knowing when to cheapen the moment. We may like or dislike Nigel but at all times we remain aware of who he really is.

    As for the performance, its a fine one. There's a sense of urgency, of hurt and utter certainty in his voice that immediately warms you to Nigel and surely that's the finest one can ask a narrator to do for their subject. Recommended without hesitation

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • L Durden
    9/22/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Strangely Engrossing"
    What did you like most about How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary?

    I thought Nigel was a knob, then I really felt for Nigel, then I was scared of Nigel, then I was moved by Nigel, then ....


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Nigel - sometimes


    Any additional comments?

    I binge listened in one sitting, Smitherd books always compel me to listen just a little bit longer to hear what happens next and today I just indulged myself.

    Although not my favourite story, (I rated 4), however the narration; particularly towards the end, really filled the gaps and added that thing that made me care about Nigel. The ending left me vaguely unsatisfied but nevertheless certainly a story I was glad I'd listened to.

    An early novel that clearly harbingers the talent and creativity that has delivered "the Stone Man" and "In the Darkness that's where I'll Know You" (one of my absolute top 10 stories of all time) this is definitely a tale that was worth my time.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • A. D. Hall
    UK
    9/22/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love Like Smitherds books."

    I've listened to everything that Luke has written.
    Lukes narration adds to the story. Long may he continue to self narrate.
    His wonderful story lines are far ranging and really off the wall. This one was a little gruesome but still fantastic. I would recommend The Stoneman first. looking forward to the next book at the end of the year.
    Well done Luke. Keep them coming

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Lorna
    9/20/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "He's done it again..."

    Flawless, funny - totally engaging! Yet another utterly splendid escape/journey via the dark, yet luminous mind of Smitherd. I wait, impatiently, for the next...
    You're gonna love it - just click Download :-)

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.