We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
Better Off Dead: Lily Harper, Book 1 | [H. P. Mallory]

Better Off Dead: Lily Harper, Book 1

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it. Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.)
Regular Price:$19.95
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Your Likes make Audible better!

'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

OK

Publisher's Summary

From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Urban Fantasy Romance Author, H.P. Mallory, comes The Lily Harper Series! If you like your books steamy (this is an adult fantasy romance, not for kids or teens!) and you aren’t easily offended by potty-mouthed, crass guardian angels, read on!

Better Off Dead is the first book in the Lily Harper urban fantasy series:

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it. Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s “Inferno” and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.

Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead. To view the book trailer, visit: http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpDlXOdAv7sWant a sneak peek? Be sure to check out the “Look Inside This Book” feature at the top left of the page where you can preview the first three chapters!

©2013 H.P. Mallory (P)2013 Audible Inc.

What the Critics Say

“H.P. Mallory has a quick wit, a fresh voice, and a clever way with words. If you like Charlaine Harris, you’ll love H.P. Mallory!” (Larissa Ione, New York Times Bestselling Fantasy Romance Author)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.4 (111 )
5 star
 (28)
4 star
 (26)
3 star
 (30)
2 star
 (15)
1 star
 (12)
Overall
3.5 (106 )
5 star
 (28)
4 star
 (25)
3 star
 (29)
2 star
 (15)
1 star
 (9)
Story
3.3 (105 )
5 star
 (26)
4 star
 (28)
3 star
 (21)
2 star
 (12)
1 star
 (18)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Beatrice Houston, TX, United States 07-13-14
    Beatrice Houston, TX, United States 07-13-14 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    474
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    464
    386
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    93
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Better Off Dead"

    This book was not for me. I started it because it was $1.99 after getting the free Kindle addition. I wish I would have stuck with just the free Kindle version. The lead character, Lily, was annoying and whiny. Bill was vulgar and obnoxious. The dialogue was anything but funny. The plot made me roll my eyes several times. I don't have any thing good to say about this book.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ella Stockholm, Sweden 02-19-14
    Ella Stockholm, Sweden 02-19-14 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    29
    8
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Nice listen, fun story"

    I had already read the electronic version of the book but decided to get the audible version to refresh my memory before the second book of the series was published.

    This story is a fun new series from HP Mallory and has many fantastic characters as well as a very fresh and interesting premise. Lily Harper is killed but has the option to be reborn with a new life, a new body and a new job - to rescue souls wrongfully sent to the Underground City. In this story she has little time to struggle with the loss of her life and her family because she is immediately sent on a mission that might cut this new life short before it even begins.

    I have to say that some of the funnier moments were a bit lost when I listened to it, because the narration simply didn't capture the male characters. This didn't stop me from listening to it, and it wouldn't stop me from recommending it either, but if you are considering reading the book (and not listening to it) I would go with that. This is just one of those times when the voices in your head might be the better option!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jess 04-06-14
    Jess 04-06-14

    Bibliophile

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Low Production Value"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    The pacing. Six hours into the book they still hadn't left on their first mission.


    If you’ve listened to books by H. P. Mallory before, how does this one compare?

    This was my first by this author.


    What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?

    Everything. There were numerous pronunciation errors. For example, the word lichen is not pronounced "Leech-en". Ugh! It drove me crazy!! Also, you could hear every time Betsy Hogg swallowed. Both of these issues ruined the listening experience for me.


    Was Better Off Dead worth the listening time?

    The story wasn't good enough to balance out the low production value of this audiobook.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    M. Murphy northeast florida 03-18-14
    M. Murphy northeast florida 03-18-14 Member Since 2013

    Being bedridden allows me to listen to audiobooks about 20 hours a day. I love anything that helps my imagination wonder to better places.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    14
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    425
    8
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "written for 15 year old boys"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    Less junior high name calling like "douche faces", "arch douche" and "ask hole".


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    I used to love HP Mallory books, but they just keep getting worse. This is my last attempt to read one of her books.


    What three words best describe Betsy Hogg’s voice?

    Like a teenager.


    What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?

    Bill the Angel


    Any additional comments?

    I feel like I have less brain cells now.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KathyDB Texas 05-08-14
    KathyDB Texas 05-08-14 Member Since 2013

    KathyDB

    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    280
    10
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "No!"
    What disappointed you about Better Off Dead?

    The first part of the book was great. It was an interesting story. I liked the main character and then the guardian angel showed up. Crude, rude, nasty, foul language and on and on every time he said anything.Some of that in a novel is ok and it adds a needed element to the story, but enough is enough and this had WAY too much.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Better Off Dead?

    I would have totally cut the guardian angel from the whole book.


    Any additional comments?

    I didn't finish this one and will not continue with the series. I've read or listened to other books by this author and enjoyed them. This one was just not worth it.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    ANNA 05-01-14
    ANNA 05-01-14 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    24
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "PLEASE get another narrator befor the next book!"
    What would have made Better Off Dead better?

    The first thing would be a new narrator. The story took forever to move forward. The story has them go on their first mission and it takes forever for them to set off on that mission.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    The way she mispronounces words is very annoying. She also does horrible voices for the men.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    HLA 03-18-15
    HLA 03-18-15 Member Since 2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Narration Ruined It"

    I love H.P. Mallory. unfortunately, this book missed the mark. cool concept but the main character was so annoyingly stupid that it was frustrating. and she was supposed to be smart?! also, and I'm sorry, but the voice of the narrator was shrill and annoying to a fault. I couldn't wait for this to finish. her other voices of different characters bad. sorry, didn't like any of it. only finished because I paid for it and have a long commute.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mike Collins 02-27-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    120
    14
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "waste of time"

    I am sick of books that insist on filling their pages with vulgarity that detracts from the story. This book COULD have been good if the author had kept things cleaner.

    The so-called guardian angel was horrid and could only provide vulgar one liners instead of any useful content.

    The story idea is a good one, but I just could not stand the constant flow of filth.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Renee DeNigris Derby, CT United States 02-20-15
    Renee DeNigris Derby, CT United States 02-20-15 Member Since 2013

    Reading books while riding on the back of Pegasus' wings

    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    81
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Intriguing story line but falls short"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Where to start? Ever overweight young woman wants to be magically changed into a supermodel. Thinking that will solve her love life. Yeah right! Meets a giant Scotsman warrior. Who is every women romanticize dream. Her obnoxious guardian angel, Bill, is funny at times but very much useless character.


    Would you recommend Better Off Dead to your friends? Why or why not?

    Nope.


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    It was okay. Ms. Hogg tries to do Scotch accent. But its off.


    Do you think Better Off Dead needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    Probably not.


    Any additional comments?

    I did like how Lily uses inspirational quotes. Specially when Bill tells her, she lives in reading inspirational self-help books, to better herself, but she Not really living her life.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rubber Duckie Memphis 09-30-14
    Rubber Duckie Memphis 09-30-14 Member Since 2014

    I duckie

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    44
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Written by a child. A 10 year old might like it."
    What disappointed you about Better Off Dead?

    I was expecting a well written aventure.. I got something worse than Sponge Bob.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Nothing narrated by Betsy Hogg or written by H.P. Mallory


    How could the performance have been better?

    Yes


    What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?

    The Narrator


    Any additional comments?

    Never again.. too childish for me.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 14 results PREVIOUS12NEXT

    There are no listener reviews for this title yet.

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank You

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.