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Better Off Dead Audiobook
Better Off Dead
Written by: 
H. P. Mallory
Narrated by: 
Betsy Hogg
Better Off Dead Audiobook

Better Off Dead: Lily Harper, Book 1

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Publisher's Summary

From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Urban Fantasy Romance Author, H.P. Mallory, comes The Lily Harper Series! If you like your books steamy (this is an adult fantasy romance, not for kids or teens!) and you aren’t easily offended by potty-mouthed, crass guardian angels, read on!

Better Off Dead is the first book in the Lily Harper urban fantasy series:

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it. Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be. First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch. Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s “Inferno” and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.

Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him. Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead. To view the book trailer, visit: http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpDlXOdAv7sWant a sneak peek? Be sure to check out the “Look Inside This Book” feature at the top left of the page where you can preview the first three chapters!

©2013 H.P. Mallory (P)2013 Audible Inc.

What the Critics Say

“H.P. Mallory has a quick wit, a fresh voice, and a clever way with words. If you like Charlaine Harris, you’ll love H.P. Mallory!” (Larissa Ione, New York Times Bestselling Fantasy Romance Author)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.5 (175 )
5 star
 (50)
4 star
 (44)
3 star
 (47)
2 star
 (19)
1 star
 (15)
Overall
3.6 (163 )
5 star
 (52)
4 star
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3 star
 (42)
2 star
 (20)
1 star
 (12)
Story
3.5 (163 )
5 star
 (50)
4 star
 (45)
3 star
 (32)
2 star
 (13)
1 star
 (23)
Performance
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  •  
    Beatrice Houston, TX, United States 07-13-14
    Beatrice Houston, TX, United States 07-13-14 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
    992
    ratings
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    772
    688
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    "Better Off Dead"

    This book was not for me. I started it because it was $1.99 after getting the free Kindle addition. I wish I would have stuck with just the free Kindle version. The lead character, Lily, was annoying and whiny. Bill was vulgar and obnoxious. The dialogue was anything but funny. The plot made me roll my eyes several times. I don't have any thing good to say about this book.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ella 02-19-14
    Ella 02-19-14
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
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    29
    8
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    0
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    "Nice listen, fun story"

    I had already read the electronic version of the book but decided to get the audible version to refresh my memory before the second book of the series was published.

    This story is a fun new series from HP Mallory and has many fantastic characters as well as a very fresh and interesting premise. Lily Harper is killed but has the option to be reborn with a new life, a new body and a new job - to rescue souls wrongfully sent to the Underground City. In this story she has little time to struggle with the loss of her life and her family because she is immediately sent on a mission that might cut this new life short before it even begins.

    I have to say that some of the funnier moments were a bit lost when I listened to it, because the narration simply didn't capture the male characters. This didn't stop me from listening to it, and it wouldn't stop me from recommending it either, but if you are considering reading the book (and not listening to it) I would go with that. This is just one of those times when the voices in your head might be the better option!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jess 04-06-14
    Jess 04-06-14

    Bibliophile

    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
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    2
    1
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    0
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    Performance
    Story
    "Low Production Value"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    The pacing. Six hours into the book they still hadn't left on their first mission.


    If you’ve listened to books by H. P. Mallory before, how does this one compare?

    This was my first by this author.


    What didn’t you like about Betsy Hogg’s performance?

    Everything. There were numerous pronunciation errors. For example, the word lichen is not pronounced "Leech-en". Ugh! It drove me crazy!! Also, you could hear every time Betsy Hogg swallowed. Both of these issues ruined the listening experience for me.


    Was Better Off Dead worth the listening time?

    The story wasn't good enough to balance out the low production value of this audiobook.


    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    M. Murphy northeast florida 03-18-14
    M. Murphy northeast florida 03-18-14 Member Since 2013

    Being bedridden allows me to listen to audiobooks about 20 hours a day. I love anything that helps my imagination wonder to better places.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    15
    ratings
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    625
    10
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    "written for 15 year old boys"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    Less junior high name calling like "douche faces", "arch douche" and "ask hole".


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    I used to love HP Mallory books, but they just keep getting worse. This is my last attempt to read one of her books.


    What three words best describe Betsy Hogg’s voice?

    Like a teenager.


    What character would you cut from Better Off Dead?

    Bill the Angel


    Any additional comments?

    I feel like I have less brain cells now.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    ANNA 05-01-14
    ANNA 05-01-14 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    26
    2
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    0
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    Story
    "PLEASE get another narrator befor the next book!"
    What would have made Better Off Dead better?

    The first thing would be a new narrator. The story took forever to move forward. The story has them go on their first mission and it takes forever for them to set off on that mission.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    The way she mispronounces words is very annoying. She also does horrible voices for the men.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KathyDB Texas 05-08-14
    KathyDB Texas 05-08-14 Member Since 2015

    KathyDB

    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
    ratings
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    485
    21
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    Story
    "No!"
    What disappointed you about Better Off Dead?

    The first part of the book was great. It was an interesting story. I liked the main character and then the guardian angel showed up. Crude, rude, nasty, foul language and on and on every time he said anything.Some of that in a novel is ok and it adds a needed element to the story, but enough is enough and this had WAY too much.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Better Off Dead?

    I would have totally cut the guardian angel from the whole book.


    Any additional comments?

    I didn't finish this one and will not continue with the series. I've read or listened to other books by this author and enjoyed them. This one was just not worth it.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Teresa NAMPA, ID, United States 05-11-16
    Teresa NAMPA, ID, United States 05-11-16 Member Since 2016

    Hello, my name is Teresa and I'm an addict.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    736
    ratings
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    778
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    Story
    "Shallow."

    A story about a self-professed unattractive and boring person who gets killed because she was stupid and was talking on her phone while driving, in bad weather. Then blames her guardian angel because it was only supposed to be a fender bender and it ended up being more, all the while he was out on a bender himself. While the premise to the story could have been great, it bombs with all the shallowness to the main character and all the clichés of the storyline. The girl gets everything; new looks, house, credit cards and a car all the while complains because the hot guy doesn't ogle her with her new supermodel body. Then she quotes self-help books all throughout the book, it was annoying. But what really ruins the book is the guardian angel. What was up with Bill, he was so obnoxious calling everybody degrading names that he barely gets anything else out and why did he have to take the pills to see the hidden realm, I thought he was an angel. But the thing that really killed this story was the narrator she sounds like a whiny 12 year old girl, if it wasn't for the story starting off fairly interesting I would have quickly stopped listening. I gave up about 4 1/2 hours into the book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    C. Countryman 10-24-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    34
    ratings
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    65
    8
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    0
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    "Slow pacing and narrated by a 12 year old"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    A different narrator and a better editor to fix the pacing and overly-obnoxious parts.


    What was most disappointing about H. P. Mallory’s story?

    The story was so slow to start and 5 hours and 55 minutes into it, it still hasn't started. They're "on their way" to the first mission. Too much description of stuff that doesn't matter, very slow pacing. I'm giving up.The guardian angel character is obnoxious, and has almost zero redeeming qualities. The author should have balanced out the vulgarity with some positive aspects. Few people are 100% crude and rude. I was hoping they'd kill him off in a dramatic fashion but when I saw he's going to be around with the next book, too, I decided I couldn't take it anymore.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    The narrator is very emotionless and young sounding, almost monotone. 'Blah blah blah,' you hear, and then the words "so-and-so shouted" are added in as an afterthought and I'm suddenly shocked that the character speaking wasn't actually bored. The narration did not reflect the story.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    It could have been a great story, but the pacing and narration, and the annoying guardian angel ruined it.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bryan 06-06-15
    Bryan 06-06-15 Member Since 2012
    ratings
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    30
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very good!"

    A lil boring at first then it turns out to be really good and funny as hell!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Linux Chick San Diego, CA USA 05-26-15
    Linux Chick San Diego, CA USA 05-26-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
    ratings
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    349
    27
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    0
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    "Couldn't even make it through the first chapter!"
    What would have made Better Off Dead better?

    Not having paid $1.99 for it.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Not anything using this narrator, or from this author.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    OMG! All the swallowing and spit sounds. Agggggghhh!


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    I couldn't listen to it long enough to find any.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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