Samson's Lovely Mortal

Scanguards Vampires, Book 1

By: Tina Folsom

Narrated by: Kevin Foley

Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins

Publisher's summary

Vampire bachelor Samson can't get it up anymore. Not even his shrink can help him. That changes when the lovely mortal auditor Delilah tumbles into his arms after a seemingly random attack. Suddenly there's nothing wrong with his hydraulics - that is, as long as Delilah is the woman in his arms.

His scruples about taking Delilah to bed vanish when his shrink suggests it's the only way to cure his problem. Thinking all he needs is one night with her, Samson indulges in a night of pleasure and passion.

However, another attack on Delilah and a dead body later, and Samson has his hands full: not only with trying to hide the fact he's a vampire, but also with finding out what secrets Delilah harbors for somebody to want her harm.

©2012 Tina Folsom (P)2012 Tina Folsom

Lifeless characters & lifeless narrator

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

No idea. There are some very enjoyable vampire/ mortal books. Some are humorous, some are hot, some are suspenseful. This has none of those elements.

Would you ever listen to anything by Tina Folsom again?

Doubtful

How did the narrator detract from the book?

The narrator brought no life to the characters & was dreadful with female characters

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Disappointment

Slapstick Porn

Any additional comments?

All I can say about this book is yes the sex is hot..but it is constant..i like a little more story with my romance..and the narration is not the best..not bad but not the best..and it just kind of read like slapstick comedy made into a porn..if you want something to seduce you look elsewhere..if you want a wham bam thank you mam you read in chapters..this is your book.

Not for me!

What disappointed you about Samson's Lovely Mortal?

It was not captivating enough for me

What could Tina Folsom have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

A different narrator

How could the performance have been better?

more emotion

What character would you cut from Samson's Lovely Mortal?

none

Any additional comments?

For me the narrator made the book boring to me. I could not even finish part one.

it was OK

There were times I could've thrown this book out the window. The immaturity of the main characters was hard to take at times. Read at your risk. I didn't hate it but didn't love it either.

I finished it, but it felt like it was lacking

What disappointed you about Samson's Lovely Mortal?

The story was interesting, but the intimate scenes made me roll my eyes over the choice of language on more than one occasion. I couldn't take the scene seriously and found myself laughing a good bit of the time.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Unknown at this point in time.

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

The narration was fine for most of the scenes, but I had trouble letting go completely into the story when the narrator performed the woman's voice. It took me out of the story completely, though I imagine his voice would be perfect for other books. The variation of male characters was fantastic.

What character would you cut from Samson's Lovely Mortal?

Though there were a lot of characters, not one of them seemed out of place.

Same ol' story. I could not finish this book.

Unfortunately, the book was not worth the credit. Fortunately Audible's policy of returns will keep me coming back. The book starts out (seriously, the first sentence in the book!) with a graphic, dirty sex scene that you later discover is a "day-dream" of the lead character/vampire, Sampson. I like steam, but it was a turn-off rather than a turn-on, and just stupid. Then, the helpless human heroine gets hauled into a mansion of sex and blood starved vamps only to cause angst and remorse in our sexually dysfunctional "hero." The first 2 - 3 chapters proved the book would be too cliche and unoriginal to continue. If you are interested in chic-lit, erotica, bloodsucking, it may be for you. The narrator, Kevin Foley, was unable to pull off a good female voice, and even Sampson's voice was overacted.

I continue to compare the vampire-based stories in the selection of books available - both serious and historical to snarky, steamy and tame - to the exemplary writing of Deborah Harkness's "Discovery of Witches" novels. And its narrator, Jennifer Ikeda, is by far the stand-out narrator that has performed any reading of the ~50 Audible books I have listened to. Forget this one and use your credit for "Discovery" trilogy.

Not Worth A Credit!!!

I was looking for a good vampire series and this one was highly rated (which I am at a loss to understand why), but what I got was a straight romance novel. Why she bothers making the men vampires was probably just to attract those who like the dark fantasy genre. Withstanding a few quirks they behaved like the average guy next door. The plot, the writing and the characters were extremely simplistic and that's being kind. The reasons behind the evil villainess' actions in the book would have made sense if she were a ten year old. The narrator's flat monotone voice was better suited for a sports commentator, and his tone for the female characters were all the same, AWFUL!
The huge preoccupation with sex throughout the book did not enhance the story, and after the 2nd one served no purpose. In my experience a book is truly bad if at the end of it you realize there was nothing redeemable about it. I'm going to have to get my credit back for this one!

Next thing to porn

Absolutely hated this book. I don't mind a little sex but really! I didn't finish. Heck, I barely started. If I could give ten negative stars, I would.