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One Tough Bastard
- Narrated by: Jason Hill
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
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One Tough Bastard
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Publisher's summary
Shane Moxie: A washed-up 80s action star who refuses to believe his best days are behind him.... Duke: A hyper-intelligent chimpanzee, and arguably the greatest animal actor of his generation.... Reunited for an anniversary movie screening, when Moxie and Duke are targeted by assassins, the feuding co-stars reluctantly join forces to smash an organized crime syndicate headed by an iconic German action star dealing death from his movie-themed fast food franchise....
One's a big dumb animal, the other's a chimpanzee: S**t just got real.
From Adam Howe, writer of Tijuana Donkey Showdown, and Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and the winner of Stephen King's On Writing contest, comes a "buddy" action/comedy in the tradition of Lethal Weapon, 48 Hrs, and Tango & Cash. Buckle up for the Ready Player One of '80s/'90s action movies. One Tough Bastard will turn you into a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus...just like its author.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 131
During a cross border shopping trip, a family vanishes. No reason. No ransom. No cry for help. Bus driver Wallace Carver fears the worst when his family fails to meet him at the Bellingham, Washington mall. His anxiety is justifiably heightened when security cameras unexplainably show that he crossed the Peace Arch border alone. Now, all Wallace wants to do is get his wife and sons back. But first he has to work out why they were taken and by whom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Unexpected Favorite
- By Debbie on 06-14-18
By: Grant McKenzie
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Blackbirds
- Miriam Black, Book 1
- By: Chuck Wendig
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 439
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 398
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Story4 out of 5 stars 395
Miriam Black knows when you will die. Still in her early twenties, she’s foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, suicides, and slow deaths by cancer. But when Miriam hitches a ride with truck driver Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days he will be gruesomely murdered while he calls her name. Miriam has given up trying to save people; that only makes their deaths happen. No matter what she does, she can’t save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she’ll have to try.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not for the faint of heart or kids but exciting
- By Steph on 04-07-14
By: Chuck Wendig
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Damoren
- Valducan, Book 1
- By: Seth Skorkowsky
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,495
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,396
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,399
Matt Hollis is the current wielder of the holy weapon, DÄMOREN. With it, he stalks and destroys demons. A secret society called the VALDUCANS has taken an interest in Matt's activities. They see him as a reckless rogue - little more than a "cowboy" corrupted by a monster - and a potential threat to their ancient order. As knights and their sentient weapons begin dying, Matt teams up with other hunters of his kind such as LUIZA, a woman with a conquistador blade; ALLAN, an Englishman with an Egyptian khopesh; MALCOLM, a voodoo priest with a sanctified machete; and TAKAIRA, a naginata-swinging Samurai.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Expendables meets Monster Squad
- By Adam on 01-06-15
By: Seth Skorkowsky
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Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse
- By: Victor Gischler
- Narrated by: Scott Sowers
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 171
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 157
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Story4 out of 5 stars 158
Edgar Award nominee Victor Gischler “specializes in morbid humor, dark sarcasm, and comic noir, complete with violence and mayhem” ( Library Journal). Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse picks up 10 years after the end of the world. Former insurance salesman Mortimer Tate leaves his secluded cabin and discovers a desolate landscape complete with cowboys, bandits, and cannibals, where the only traces of civilization are found at Joey Armageddon’s Sassy-a-Go-Go club.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Post-apocalypse with a touch of old west thrown in
- By Michelle on 04-17-12
By: Victor Gischler
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Crucible: A Max Ahlgren Story
- Crucible, Book 0
- By: Ryan W. Aslesen
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 732
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 669
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 665
Captain Max Ahlgren is proud to be one of the first team commanders in the Marine Corps’ nascent MARSOC detachment. Finally, the Corps’ elite warriors are working alongside those of other branches, battling insurgents, not on the front lines but behind them. After his first mission, however, Max learns he will be replaced as team commander.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Revenge is said best served cold It best high volt
- By Dennis on 03-25-21
By: Ryan W. Aslesen
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Termination Orders
- By: Leo J. Maloney
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,678
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,356
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,344
In the tradition of bestsellers by Robert Ludlum and Vince Flynn, Termination Orders introduces Dan Morgan, a retired black-ops agent who must return to duty to thwart a deadly international conspiracy.
Once a trained killer for the CIA, Dan Morgan has built a new life for himself. But when he receives a desperate plea from his former black-ops partner - reportedly killed in a foreign battle zone - he flies in to help. It should be a routine mission, extracting a human asset from the region, but it’s not - it’s an ambush.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Profanity
- By Jamie Frasier on 09-04-20
By: Leo J. Maloney
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National Security
- A Jericho Quinn Thriller, Book 1
- By: Marc Cameron
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 500
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 454
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 452
Warning: The next terrorist attack on American soil is coming...sooner than you think. They can strike anytime, anywhere. A public landmark. A suburban shopping mall. And now, the human body itself. Three Middle Eastern terrorists have been injected with a biological weapon, human time bombs unleashed on American soil. They are prepared to die. To spread their disease. To annihilate millions. If America hopes to fight this enemy from within, we need a new kind of weapon. Meet Special Agent Jericho Quinn. Air Force veteran. Champion boxer. Trained assassin.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great story but
- By Roy on 12-06-20
By: Marc Cameron
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The Water Knife
- By: Paolo Bacigalupi
- Narrated by: Almarie Guerra
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,970
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,572
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,564
In the American Southwest, Nevada, Arizona, and California skirmish for dwindling shares of the Colorado River. Into the fray steps Angel Velasquez, detective, leg breaker, assassin, and spy. A Las Vegas water knife, Angel "cuts" water for his boss, Catherine Case, ensuring that her lush, luxurious arcology developments can bloom in the desert, so the rich can stay wet while the poor get nothing but dust.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The fight for water in a drought fueled apocalypse
- By Lore on 09-24-15
By: Paolo Bacigalupi
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Dynamite Road
- A Weiss and Bishop Novel
- By: Andrew Klavan
- Narrated by: Andrew Klavan
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 204
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 167
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 166
A routine investigation into corruption at a North Californian airport sets in motion shocking events that lead hard man Jim Bishop and world-weary ex-cop boss Scott Weiss into the center of a massive criminal conspiracy. The trail of blood that ensues brings them dangerously closer to Weiss's old nemesis, an expert gun-for-hire known only as Shadowman and to a plan set to climax with an act of audacious violence and a murder that would be impossible for any killer but one....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Read
- By Peter Gage on 02-20-09
By: Andrew Klavan
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,556
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,440
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,440
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 9,104
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8,254
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Story4 out of 5 stars 8,270
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Hell on Wheels
- Black Knights Inc., Book 1
- By: Julie Ann Walker
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 457
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 416
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Story4 out of 5 stars 416
Ex-Marine Nate "Ghost" Weller is an expert at keeping his cool - and his distance - which makes him one hell of a sniper. It's also how he keeps his feelings for Ali Morgan in check. Sweet, sexy Ali has always revved his engine, but she's his best friend's baby sister ... and totally off limits. Ali's never seen anything sexier than Nate Weller straddling his custom Harley - or the flash of danger in his eyes when she tells him she's in trouble. First, something happened to her brother, and now she's become the target of a nasty organization.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Bad Narrator-Good Story.
- By Kindle Customer on 10-05-12
By: Julie Ann Walker
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The Brotherhood of the Wheel
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 14 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,268
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,112
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,108
In AD 1119, a group of nine crusaders became known as the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon - a militant monastic order charged with protecting pilgrims and caravans traveling on the roads to and from the Holy Land. In time, the Knights Templar would grow in power and, ultimately, be laid low. But a small offshoot of the Templars endure and have returned to the order's original mission: to defend the roads of the world and guard those who travel on them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Epic Battle Brewing
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 03-29-16
By: R. S. Belcher
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Kiss Her Goodbye
- A Fourth Dimension Thriller
- By: Robert Gregory Browne
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
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Story4 out of 5 stars 127
All ATF Agent Jack Donovan wants out of life is to do his job and work on his strained relationship with his daughter Jessie after a nasty divorce. But in a ruthless act of revenge by a charismatic madman, Jessie is kidnapped and buried alive, with barely enough oxygen to sustain her. Now the only man who can save her, the only man who knows where to find her, has just been shot dead - and the clock is ticking... So what's a father to do?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Super supernatural thriller
- By shelley on 02-02-14
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The Hundredth Man
- Carson Ryder/Harry Nautilus #1
- By: Jack Kerley
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 101
When bizarre and cryptic messages are found on a pair of corpses in Mobile, Alabama, junior police detective Carson Ryder and veteran cop Harry Nautilus find themselves in a mysterious public-relations quagmire pitting public safety against office politics. With the body count growing, Ryder must confront his family's terrifying past by seeking advice from his brother, a violent psychopath convicted of similarly heinous crimes.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Definitely a case for Matthew McConnaghey
- By Cheryl on 08-19-14
By: Jack Kerley
What listeners say about One Tough Bastard
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kimyoda
- 10-28-22
Jason Hill!
I came here solely for Jason Hill. He is a superb narrative. I was so happy to find this audio book since he left the YouTube channel CTFDN( which I highly advise you check out if you liked how he narrated this story). The story itself was also fantastic! It had a irreverent, sarcastic tone throughout that is perfectly suited to Jason's talents.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Geoff
- 05-19-22
Triumphant!
This was a riot! Besides being a teriffic story with great characters, I laughed out loud a bunch, which is pretty rare for me during an audiobook. Shane Moxie is just the kind of eccentric, egomaniacal character I love to root for. It's also peppered with tons of '80s and' 90s pop culture references, which is a ton of fun. I've enjoyed all of Howe's work, and this one's my new favorite!
I love Jason Hill's work as well, and he really nailed this one! Top-notch narration. Excellent all around! Highly recommended!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lily of the Sword
- 07-14-23
So happy I found this
I’m glad I followed Jason Hill after he left the Simply Scary podcast network. His narration is superb! The writing helps, too.
This is a love letter to 80s/90s movies, more specifically action movies. The insane premise played out wonderfully.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cassandra Wright
- 05-28-22
I.Am.Floored.
This has got to be the greatest novel Ever written.
Expertly narrated by Jason Hill. Brava gentlemen. Brava.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jeb
- 08-31-22
Fun Listen
While explaining a first date experience at a drive in theatre involving hands and um…. private parts, Shane Moxie states “ I covered the windshield like a house painters radio”. I’m using that line. This book had a lot of great hilarious moments. Laugh out loud moments. I’m going to listen to more of what the author has written. Surprised this book has so few reviews. This isn’t a mystery novel who did it masterpiece and I dont think the author ever meant it to be. So just enjoy the ride and dont pay too much attention to the small details.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- NunYa
- 10-18-22
Badassery!
This book was a delight! if you love the raunchy, fun loving, machismo of the 80s then seek no further. the author is a true talent and the narration is superb!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Tod M. Clark
- 08-09-22
A 80’s Action Film Love Story
ONE TOUGH BASTARD by Adam Howe is not only an excellent comedic action story but a full on love letter to the classic 80’s action films that everybody loves. The Moxe is an action hero who deserves to mentioned right along with all the 80’s greats.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- B.Ramsay
- 06-27-22
Masterpiece
A wild ride! This book was extremely enjoyable, funny and well written. Jason Hill truly is a master of his craft… Podcast or not, I remain a fan.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 01-10-23
fun
this is just fun, that's really the only way I can describe it. it's just fun
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 08-24-22
Absolutely brilliant!
Move over 48 hours, Tango & Cash, and any other crazy team up movie you can think of and make way for Shane and Duke. As the tagline line says: one's a big dumb animal. The other is a chimpanzee. Adam Howe has crafted one of the funniest books I've read in a long time, and if you are a fan of action comedies you need to read/listen to this one now. Years ago Shane Moxie and Duke made a hit movie together. These days Shane Moxie is a washed up movie star with delusions of grandeur while Duke, a super smart chimp, took Hollywood by storm. Now due to forces beyond their control, the two are thrust back together on an adventure can only be described as EPIC. Howe does a wonderful job weaving together over the top action with a serious amount of laugh out loud humor. Through certain action sequence and dialogue choices he also does a phenomenal job of giving little winks and nods to dozens upon dozen of classic action movies from the 80s and 90s. As for the audio, Jason Hill's narration is masterful. This is without question a book I'll be listening to over and and over. My only issue...now I want it made into a movie!
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