The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

By: Hallgrimur Helgason

Narrated by: Luke Daniels

Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins

Publisher's summary

With some 66 hits under his belt, Tomislav Bokšic, or Toxic, has a flawless record as hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York. That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavik disguised as American televangelist Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops, this country with absolutely no tradition for contract killing, he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future, to tragicomic effect. Toxic paints Iceland as an icy netherworld where in spite of peaceful appearances danger lurks - in the guise of terrifying romantic overtures with tough-girl Gunholder, fear of being caught in his blasphemous deception, and the threat of punishment at the hands of Thordur... whose name seems to be pronounced “Torture.”

©2012 Hallgrimur Helgason (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

"A sensational book. Hallgrimur Helgason's brain is like this amazing app that morphs the English language into gorgeously blunt new forms. It delivers surprise after surprise and makes you feel good about books again. I can't recommend it enough." (Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X)

"If you read this I predict [Helgason]’ll be in your mind to stay.” (DBC Pierre, Man Booker Prize-winning author of Vernon God Little)

“[Helgason is] uproarious, sharp, and outrageously funny.” ( Kirkus Reviews)

Some find this humorous,

but it did not work for me. The narrator made it worse.

It was dragging and dragging. Finally at about half way through I stopped reading and jumped to the last two chapters.

I might have liked it better if I were reading as opposed to listening. The narrator used a strong Croatian accent and an Icelandic accent. The accents were not enjoyable. There’s a reason TV anchors sound the same - it’s pleasant for the majority of the population.

There was one scene I found funny. Andro was a crazy gay boy who jerked off two men at the same time, one Serbian, one Croatian. The author said “It was the strangest image I have from that f***ing war. If we had gay nations there would be less wars.”

I did not like the ending. The main guy/narrator is shot. We don’t know if he lives or dies. It was not funny.

The title is misleading because it is such a minor part of the story. Toxic enters a girl’s messy home to hideout. He cleans it before she arrives home.

Genre: humorous crime fiction

Funny moments but mostly a snore

There are some things to like about Helgason's novel. As common a character as "the hitman on the run" is in books, this hitman at least has a fairly interesting and novel background. The setting in Iceland is also something the reader might not have come across before now. There are funny moments in the book, a few almost laugh out loud. And lastly, the narrator is fantastic. I am guessing that he is affecting the accent he uses for the hitman, but I personally thought he did a great job with the reading.

My main problem with the book was the story. After a decent setup, it alternates between not very interesting to just flat out dull. At times the situations feel like something you might find in a sitcom. Three's Company or something like that. A lot of things happen which are just hard to understand. Why did a character act this way? Why is this happening at all? The finale is completely unsurprising. This book ends pretty much EXACTLY the way you think it will.

I was mostly glad it was a fairly short novel. I managed to finish it, so it wasn't a complete waste of a credit or anything. I think I have better books in my library to enjoy though.

3rd try and I finished it

My sister-in-law recommended the book so I was willing to give it multiple tries.
The matter of fact way the story is told in the first person voice creates a light hearted humorous tone.
What would happen if you are an opptimist raised during a war, taught to do horrific things to survive, and then start fresh in a peaceful country with generous forgiving people? lots of potential but the story fell flat for me.
The narrator was good which pulled me through to the end.
The "F" word was used in almost every paragraph, certainly ever page. Possibly a poor translation or English as a second language misuse of the word, but it ruined the experience for me. I don't use the word, and I dont want to hear it over and over (and over) in my leisure time activities.