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The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning  By  cover art

The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

By: Hallgrimur Helgason
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
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Publisher's summary

With some 66 hits under his belt, Tomislav Bokšic, or Toxic, has a flawless record as hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York. That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavik disguised as American televangelist Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops, this country with absolutely no tradition for contract killing, he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future, to tragicomic effect. Toxic paints Iceland as an icy netherworld where in spite of peaceful appearances danger lurks - in the guise of terrifying romantic overtures with tough-girl Gunholder, fear of being caught in his blasphemous deception, and the threat of punishment at the hands of Thordur... whose name seems to be pronounced “Torture.”

©2012 Hallgrimur Helgason (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

"A sensational book. Hallgrimur Helgason's brain is like this amazing app that morphs the English language into gorgeously blunt new forms. It delivers surprise after surprise and makes you feel good about books again. I can't recommend it enough." (Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X)
"If you read this I predict [Helgason]’ll be in your mind to stay.” (DBC Pierre, Man Booker Prize-winning author of Vernon God Little)
“[Helgason is] uproarious, sharp, and outrageously funny.” ( Kirkus Reviews)

What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Some find this humorous,

but it did not work for me. The narrator made it worse.

It was dragging and dragging. Finally at about half way through I stopped reading and jumped to the last two chapters.

I might have liked it better if I were reading as opposed to listening. The narrator used a strong Croatian accent and an Icelandic accent. The accents were not enjoyable. There’s a reason TV anchors sound the same - it’s pleasant for the majority of the population.

There was one scene I found funny. Andro was a crazy gay boy who jerked off two men at the same time, one Serbian, one Croatian. The author said “It was the strangest image I have from that f***ing war. If we had gay nations there would be less wars.”

I did not like the ending. The main guy/narrator is shot. We don’t know if he lives or dies. It was not funny.

The title is misleading because it is such a minor part of the story. Toxic enters a girl’s messy home to hideout. He cleans it before she arrives home.

Genre: humorous crime fiction

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Funny moments but mostly a snore

There are some things to like about Helgason's novel. As common a character as "the hitman on the run" is in books, this hitman at least has a fairly interesting and novel background. The setting in Iceland is also something the reader might not have come across before now. There are funny moments in the book, a few almost laugh out loud. And lastly, the narrator is fantastic. I am guessing that he is affecting the accent he uses for the hitman, but I personally thought he did a great job with the reading.

My main problem with the book was the story. After a decent setup, it alternates between not very interesting to just flat out dull. At times the situations feel like something you might find in a sitcom. Three's Company or something like that. A lot of things happen which are just hard to understand. Why did a character act this way? Why is this happening at all? The finale is completely unsurprising. This book ends pretty much EXACTLY the way you think it will.

I was mostly glad it was a fairly short novel. I managed to finish it, so it wasn't a complete waste of a credit or anything. I think I have better books in my library to enjoy though.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Funny moments but mostly a snore

There are some things to like about Helgason's novel. As common a character as "the hitman on the run" is in books, this hitman at least has a fairly interesting and novel background. The setting in Iceland is also something the reader might not have come across before now. There are funny moments in the book, a few almost laugh out loud. And lastly, the narrator is fantastic. I am guessing that he is affecting the accent he uses for the hitman, but I personally thought he did a great job with the reading.

My main problem with the book was the story. After a decent setup, it alternates between not very interesting to just flat out dull. At times the situations feel like something you might find in a sitcom. Three's Company or something like that. A lot of things happen which are just hard to understand. Why did a character act this way? Why is this happening at all? The finale is completely unsurprising. This book ends pretty much EXACTLY the way you think it will.

I was mostly glad it was a fairly short novel. I managed to finish it, so it wasn't a complete waste of a credit or anything. I think I have better books in my library to enjoy though.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Wish this had been on a hit list...

What would have made The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning better?

Perhaps anything redeaming or exceptional about this hitman... A better run down on the events that caused him to run... Less naval gazing from a contract killer... Don't want to spoil anything, but there isn't really any reason for him to be a hitman.

What do you think your next listen will be?

Fantasy and economics books I've been wanting to get to.

Which scene was your favorite?

The last chapters were good, until the author decided we needed a really odd and completely misplaced flashback sequence.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Bordom, it was a strugle to get through this short book. If it had been a two parter I probably wouldn't have finished.

Any additional comments?

The narration was great, well acted even if the accent was a bit thick.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Sluggish

Funny in spots, with a great narrator stuck with a slack plot. If the story were about a middle-aged man plagued with bunions, the timing and plot structure would make more sense. As it is, the travails of a serial killer, it's just goofy, and not in a good way.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Entertaining and Fun

Where does The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Good pace, character building and the story is entertaining

What other book might you compare The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning to and why?

I cannot think of any other book to compare this to, as it is the first of this genre that I have listened to.

Have you listened to any of Luke Daniels’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Luke Daniels is an excellent narrator. His Slavic and Icelandic accents are quite good and made the story more entertaining.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Great narration, but couldn't stick with the story

If you can get past the murder-as-comedy mindset, then the first half of the book was pretty funny. About halfway through, however, it turns into an entirely different story, and I couldn't tell if it was trying to turn into an earnest redemption story, a religious tome, or what. Writing in first person always takes the risk of losing the reader, especially when so much of the content goes on only in the narrator's mind. I really tried to stick with it, but finally had to put it down, as I was becoming bored silly. The narration and accents were spot-on, of course, since the narrator is Luke Daniels and he can probably make the phone book interesting. He has a great ear for dialect and foreign accents as well. Maybe a solid C-

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

An un-redemption story

Wow, that was not at all like I though it would be. Funny moments, but written in a story with a main character that is both an over the top caricature and a brutally real a**hole. I found the main character's accent very distracting - so heavy that it drags - and this could have interfered with my ability to bond with him. The other characters had excellent narration, and some of these people could have been very interesting and funny, but there were so many missed opportunities to give them more depth.

In the end, this was the story of the almost redemption of a hitman. Like the main character, the story just falls short in the end. The hitman is deep but unlikeable, the likeable characters shallow. It's too harsh to be light, and too funny to be bleak.

I've thought about the book since I finished it, talked about it with several other people, it was well written, not at all a throw away mystery or a nordic copycat. I just didn't enjoy it.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A Unique and Engaging Hitman Comedy

Tomislav Bok??i??, also known as "Toxic" is a hitman with a heart. He works for the mafia in New York and killed the wrong man so needs to do the LPP (Lowest Profile Possible) for awhile. Toxic goes overseas acting as a different person.

It is here where the story really begins. Half the story is Toxic's new life abroad and the other half is his telling stories about how Tomislav Bok??i?? became Toxic. The stories are funny and heartfelt but as you get through the book you will find the amusing anecdotes to start pulling at your heart strings.

This book is both funny and difficult to get through at the same time. I found myself caring more and more for this sorry guy just as some characters in the book did.

The whole "Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning" marketing bit is off a single line in the book that really has nothing to do with the overall story line but it is one of the funnier moments in the book.

Enjoy this engaging and unique book but be prepared to focus your listening since Luke Daniels puts on a heavy accent for the character.

-Bill

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

laugh out loud funny

I enjoyed every minute of the book. more more more more more more more more

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