If We Break

A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing

By: Kathleen Buhle

Narrated by: Kathleen Buhle

Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins

Publisher's summary

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this “dignified and revealing” (People) memoir.

“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment.”—Connie Britton

This is not a story about good versus evil. Or who was right. Or who was better. For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon. Within months of falling in love, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged, living a life beyond anything she’d ever known.

Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction. When the lies became insurmountable, Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage. She wondered if she could survive on her own.

The result is a memoir that is gripping and heart-breaking. Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years, why she became dependent on one man, and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth. This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it.

©2022 Random House (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment. It is a story of love and learning, of the crushing blow of co-dependency and addiction, and ultimately of Buhle’s journey back to herself.”—Connie Britton

“From the safe harbor of a healing aftermath, Kathleen Buhle tells of the grievous toll that addiction took not just on her husband but also on her marriage and her family. She writes with warmth and kindness and without bitterness. As someone who has experienced firsthand the devastating hold of addiction, I find her account clear-eyed, painful, heartfelt, funny, and, best of all, hopeful.”—Leslie Jordan, author of How Y’all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived

“It isn’t easy to write a book about marriage that acknowledges what hard work it is to love another person and, also, oneself. In If We Break, Kathleen Buhle has done just that. The result is a harrowing tale of innocence and self-discovery, truth-telling and resilience. I couldn’t put it down.”—Kim Brooks, author of Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear

Extraordinary

I am in awe of Kathleen's raw narrative and how beautifully she captured her marriage and her life. It is an extraordinary story of a lovely woman married to an extreme narcissistic. I found myself judging: "but Kathleen" I would say to myself. And that is the power of her narrative. Her's are not my shoes; its not my life. She gave me a fascinating few hours filled with poignant moments and laughter too. What I most appreciated most was Kathleen's love of family and love of life. Although we have very little in common, I admired her candor, raw bravery and her commitment to her family. Thank you Kathleen.

Authentically Beautiful

I wanted to know the conclusion of every chapter. This human experience is well told, deeply moving and inspiring.

Tough Love

This was a heart rendering story about what so many people experience from addiction. It is easy to judge individuals and be so wrong about your judgment when you’ve never walked in their shoes. I feel sorry for Kathleen, but she should’ve walked away from her marriage to Hunter long before she did. Joe Biden should also accept some of the blame for his sons predicaments in life. It appears, to me, he never stepped in with that tough love when it was needed and appears he never will

If We Break

Kathleen Buhle’s story is powerful on so many levels. I am thankful she had the courage to be so transparent. Riveting from start to finish.

Transparent and relatable

In listening to Kathleen’s self discovery I believe there are things I discovered about myself. Really enjoyed learning about her journey.

Great read

Enjoyed reading this story. Spoken from the heart. Kathleen is courageous and her girls have quite a role model. Life is not easy but keep moving forward.

So Powerful

I was just looking through books, had no idea who the author was, what a great find. This book was very insightful and eye-opening. Enjoyed every word.

A Remarkable Woman

All the words I would use to describe this book have already been used by so many others. For many of us, it's a case of "been there, done that". Kathleen, thank you for sharing your story and blessings for your life.

Fantastic book!

This book was fantastic! It was written beautifully, I couldn’t put it down once I started it. Kathleen is such a strong woman, who has been through a lot and still overcomes it all. Very moving and powerful story. I loved it!!

A true survivors story

Kathleen presents as honest and likable, it reads/listens like you’re with a friend… a friend who fell madly in love and was treated poorly by a narcissistic addict. I read her ex husbands book shortly after- and it reinforced that Kathleen is truly a survivor of a terrible and self centered husband.