We Are Not Ourselves

By: Matthew Thomas

Narrated by: Mare Winningham

Length: 20 hrs and 51 mins

Publisher's summary

Destined to be a classic, this "powerfully moving" (Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding) multigenerational debut novel of an Irish-American family is nothing short of a "masterwork". (Joshua Ferris, Then We Came to the End).

Born in 1941, Eileen Tumulty is raised by her Irish immigrant parents in Woodside, Queens, in an apartment where the mood swings between heartbreak and hilarity, depending on whether guests are over and how much alcohol has been consumed.

When Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist whose bearing is nothing like those of the men she grew up with, she thinks she’s found the perfect partner to deliver her to the cosmopolitan world she longs to inhabit. They marry, and Eileen quickly discovers Ed doesn’t aspire to the same, ever bigger, stakes in the American Dream.

Eileen encourages her husband to want more: a better job, better friends, a better house, but as years pass it becomes clear that his growing reluctance is part of a deeper psychological shift. An inescapable darkness enters their lives, and Eileen and Ed and their son, Connell, try desperately to hold together a semblance of the reality they have known, and to preserve, against long odds, an idea they have cherished of the future.

Through the Learys, novelist Matthew Thomas charts the story of the American Century, particularly the promise of domestic bliss and economic prosperity that captured hearts and minds after WWII. The result is a riveting and affecting work of art; one that reminds us that life is more than a tally of victories and defeats, that we live to love and be loved, and that we should tell one another so before the moment slips away.

Epic in scope, heroic in character, masterful in prose, We Are Not Ourselves heralds the arrival of a major new talent in contemporary fiction.

©2014 Matthew Thomas (P)2014 Simon & Schuster

great read.

well written , difficult to read due to subject. what would I have done if this happen to my family?

Slow but good

Excellent reading. Wonderful vocabulary. Well told story. Plenty for discussion with book group and plenty on which to reflect personally. Story is slow moving but compelling.

Outstanding Novel about a difficult subject

If you could sum up We Are Not Ourselves in three words, what would they be?

empathy, sadness, reality

Who was your favorite character and why?

Eileen, because she was the energy of the three generations. She was the glue that connected her father to herself and to her son to become a teacher whhile managing a 51 year with Alzheimer's disease.

Have you listened to any of Mare Winningham’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

First one.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Ed's letter written to his son when he first learned about the disease not to be given to him until after his death.

Any additional comments?

The book was very good, but for me would have been just as effective without the sexual references. We all know about those and don't need the distraction. It is the only thing that might keep this book from being a Pulitzer.

Perfect in every way

My mom has Alzheimer's and this book deceived so well the feelings and emotions. But this book is so much more than a story involving a character who develops Alzheimer's. It a story of deep, abiding and respectful love; dreams; disappointments. I loved this book so much. The narrator is fitting. Her voice gives Eileen a smoky quality that adds to the story.

A punishingly realistic account of a family"s dreams and sorrows

I do not recommend this to a caregiver in a family. The brutality of the day to day suffering is almost unbearable. The rest of us can be grateful this isn't our fate....yet. It was so easy to feel superior as each made what seemed obvious bad decisions as they dealt with the emptiness within. The cover art of houses comes clear as the story progresses. That feeling that a new, better place is the answer to what ails you. That the problems are outside and so are the remedies. But trying to dismiss the mother as a self-centered, wrong-headed person was impossible once I was shown the condition of her feet. Would I have been as hard-working and determined given the same circumstances? Mare Winningham has just the right amount of steel beneath that soft, crisp voice of hers. A wonderful match for these flawed characters. Not a "happy" read/listen but there is truth in it.

Will it ever end?

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

The book needs serious editing. Pointless details, dragging narrative, and overdone reflections make this pretty boring. I kept waiting for something, anything to happen that I couldn't predict. Unfortunately, the plot was very predictable.

What could Matthew Thomas have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

As mentioned, editing would have removed some of the tedious narrative. The fundamental content was good, but was hidden in metaphors and meaningless conversation.

Have you listened to any of Mare Winningham’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Her performance was very good although there were a few strange mispronunciations.

Could you see We Are Not Ourselves being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

In its current state, it would be boring. The basic plot would be interesting and would more than likely be enhanced by condensing the actions within the book to a more realistic pace.

Best Book I have read in a long time!

Sometimes you read a book at the right time and it makes such an impact. This beautiful book is incredibly heartbreaking and real but is about everybody and every life. Not something outrageous or heroic but so identifiable. The writer is incredibly gifted in decribing a scene a person a feeling a time and place, human nature. Life.
Beautiful voice.

Slow, Moving Testament to Family and Love

This book was deeply moving. It focuses on the story of 3 generations of an Irish American family, although the story is really told through the dreams and life of Eileen Leary (nee Tumulty). As a child she sees her parents as they try to find their place in America, with her father gregarious; however, as in many similar novel histories, vacillates between the drunk character and the wise, loving father. Eileen is determined to move away from the poverty and alcoholic issues of her childhood and has a determination to better herself and move into a higher class of society.

She meets and marries a scientist, Ed whom she deeply loves but also sees as a way to a better life. They have a son, Connell and she continues to press her husband to move into a higher academic level which would bring them into a higher level of society. She dreams of a new neighbourhood, a better life; however, Ed is reluctant and is content to stay in his job and their neighbourhood.

An unexpected disorder comes into their lives, and although the reader (listener) understands what is happening before Eileen recognizes it, it does not mitigate the sorrow as you see how it affects the family. At this point, the deep love between Eileen and Ed is put to the test, and the reader can keenly feel the difficulties in those changes.

At first I didn't understand the title, but as the book went on, I realized how disheartening it was that these characters (particularly Eileen), in some ways were unable to find contentment in their place in life, but always yearned for something more.

In some ways it could be considered a very melancholy book; however, it was written and orated in such a way that the love, commitment and even some humour that reminds us of the beauty of life, in every moment.

The narrator of the audible book, Mare Winingham was outstanding - allowing the words of the book speak to the reader rather than using her voice to try and insist you hear anything other than the voices of the characters.

It is a deeply affecting book, one that makes you reflect on your own life and desires - and a beautifully written testament to strength of family and love.

Powerful story of a family in New York

This book traces an Irish American family’s struggle with the challenges of ordinary middle class life in New York City and a nearby suburb. Seen mainly through the eyes of a determined, sensitive woman, the small triumphs and disappointments of an ordinary life achieve significance. I found this book powerful and very moving. The narration is nuanced and attentive. I recommend it highly.

I truly enjoyed this and hope to find more

I really cared about the characters and the storyline, just good solid fiction. will likely listen again!