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Valley Vampire | [Joel M. Andre]

Valley Vampire

Bambi Simmons is the perfect woman. She is tall, slender and blonde with everything going for her. But she also has a very dark secret that only a few unfortunate people have learned. When an officer comes too close to the truth, she totally has to take care of business. Embark on a different sort of vampire tale in this dark comedy by Joel M. Andre that features his beloved detective Lauren Bruni.
Regular Price:$3.95
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Publisher's Summary

Bambi Simmons is the perfect woman. She is tall, slender and blonde with everything going for her.

But she also has a very dark secret that only a few unfortunate people have learned. When an officer comes too close to the truth, she totally has to take care of business.

Embark on a different sort of vampire tale in this dark comedy by Joel M. Andre that features his beloved detective Lauren Bruni.

©2008 Joel Haynie (P)2012 Joel Haynie

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (38 )
5 star
 (23)
4 star
 (9)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
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1 star
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Overall
4.0 (37 )
5 star
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Story
4.5 (37 )
5 star
 (26)
4 star
 (5)
3 star
 (4)
2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Celestial Starz Madison, WI 09-16-12
    Celestial Starz Madison, WI 09-16-12

    Follow the Starz !

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "BLONDES ARE "DEADLY" FUN -BRUNETTES ARE SERIOUS !"
    Would you listen to Valley Vampire again? Why?

    Ohhhh Yes ! I would listen to this audio a few more times, just to remind myself how smart and witty brunettes truly are, and how overrated and underestimated blondes have always been! hee hee hee ... (now that you all know I AM a brunette!!) Back to the story .. ahem .. Bambi is the lead character, with the most irritating valley girl voice/personality you could ever even imagine. Lauren Bruni is the smart, officer/detective side kick (and brunette!!!) of officer Cary Thompson. They are searching for clues to the "disappearance" of Kyle Walker, a student who attended the local high school. Apparently Bambi Simmons, the drop-dead gorgeous blonde in the skimpy, sexy attire with leather boots to match, was the last one to be seen with the young student. Bambi drives a luxury red sports car with the license plate 'VAMP' and looks anything 'but' innocent. The story continues as the two detectives ask Bambi to assist them with a trip to where Kyle Walker was last seen. And this is where the short story unfolds to a heightened frenzy!


    What other book might you compare Valley Vampire to and why?

    No other story reminds me of Valley Vampire mainly because "Valley", referring to Bambi's valley girl persona, made it a one of a kind short story. The valley girl style was popular way back in the '70's, so this effected speech pattern relays to the reader that Bambi has been alive since way back when, and she still looks like a teenager 30 years later!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    My favorite scene was Lauren and Bambi's confrontation - the cat and the mouse chase through the woods. I also liked the description of when Bambi stuck her fingers down her throat and 'projectile-vomit-spewed' the blood she had just swallowed into 'you-know-who's' face. That was pretty horrifyingly disgusting!


    Who was the most memorable character of Valley Vampire and why?

    I think it was a tie between Bambi Simmons and Lauren Bruni. Bambi was the most memorable because she is the hot vampire that seduces innocent young teenagers into their demise and at times, decides to turn a few just to entertain herself. Lauren is the character we want to see save the world from the multiplying "Bambi's" among us.


    Any additional comments?

    Great short audio listen that will keep asking questions even after the story ends. I know many people are irritated by open ended stories, but I find them enticing and fun. Always leaves room for you to create your own ending or to search for the authors next book to see if yours was the same as the authors. If Bambi is 'turning' others, which means she turned them 'into' vampires, than Lauren has a lot more work ahead of her, as vampire slayer!

    24 of 31 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Professor 10-26-12
    Professor 10-26-12

    1*=I didn't like it..... 2*=It was OK...... 3*=It was good but I will never read it again.......... 4*=Maybe I will read it again in the future.............. 5*=I will definitely read it again(maybe more than once)

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Temporary Insanity With Elements of Amnesia"

    Amnesia:

    I don't remember when? How? Under what circumstances? i decided to buy this book!
    I mean I don't have any recollection of reading summary, getting reccomendations from my friends or any other actions concerning this book.

    Insanity:

    Apparently sometime in my cloudy past I decided to buy this book.
    But why in gods name I spent the whole credit on it istead of just buying it for $6.95?!!!

    Nevertheless I read it and I want my money back

    I haven't heard anything funny, no plot to speak of...
    Actually nothing to speak off

    I think there was some mistake because this must've been given as a free sample, it doesn't worth more than $0.99

    8 of 23 people found this review helpful
  •  
    alice chicago ridge, IL, United States 10-30-12
    alice chicago ridge, IL, United States 10-30-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Wasted Time"

    I can't remeber what led me to believe this would be a fun short read. Oh yeh, it was the name. The story could be pretty good & should be. Something is amiss in the compilation, plus the reader is inconsistant. Add to that the glitch, hiccup, booboo, whatever that caused the first few lines of the book to repeat after the book ended & you have a dissapointed old chick. Thank goodness I didn't pay more than $5 for this.

    4 of 25 people found this review helpful
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