Unholy Night

By: Seth Grahame-Smith

Narrated by: Peter Berkrot

Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins

Publisher's summary

From the author of the New York Times best-selling Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter comes Unholy Night, the next evolution in dark historical revisionism.

They're an iconic part of history's most celebrated birth. But what do we really know about the Three Kings of the Nativity, besides the fact that they followed a star to Bethlehem bearing strange gifts? The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. But leave it to Seth Grahame-Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale.

In Grahame-Smith's telling, the so-called "Three Wise Men" are infamous thieves, led by the dark, murderous Balthazar. After a daring escape from Herod's prison, they stumble upon the famous manger and its newborn king. The last thing Balthazar needs is to be slowed down by young Joseph, Mary, and their infant. But when Herod's men begin to slaughter the first born in Judea, he has no choice but to help them escape to Egypt.

It's the beginning of an adventure that will see them fight the last magical creatures of the Old Testament; cross paths with biblical figures like Pontius Pilate and John the Baptist; and finally deliver them to Egypt. It may just be the greatest story never told.

©2012 Seth Grahame-Smith (P)2012 Hachette Audio

That plot twist!

It stays faithful and reverent to the main characters and happenings of the story. Awe inspiring with the detailed narrative which takes you to the Old World in which the original tale takes place. Only part I disliked was a scene which describes Herods pleasure time with a young girl. Being a woman myself, it shook me and I found it unnecessary.

A nice twist to the greatest story ever told.

What did you like best about this story?

I don't know how much of the historical background of the Roman Empire and the Roman characters Grahame-Smith took from actual facts, but I felt that this book really helped me get a perspective on how evil and corrupt the government of the time period was. If half of what he wrote about Herod is true he is one of the most evil men to ever live. As a Christian and a fan of Grahame-Smith I was excited to read this story. I was worried that it would either be a poor read or offensive to my beliefs. I am happy to say I was wrong on both counts. The book is not my favorite of the author's, but I did really enjoy it. As a follower of Christ I am happy to say that nothing that Smith wrote contradicted the character or divinity of Jesus. I don't know if Smith is a Christian or not, but he took a potentially explosive topic and handled it very well. The book gave me more of an appreciation of the hardships Joseph and Marry went through in this time period. For those who choose to read this book based on my recommendation I feel that I should give you two warnings. First, some nonessentials to the story have been changed (some of the facts about the life of Jesus are wrong.) However, these errors did not offend me or take away from the fact that He was the Son of God who came to save the world. Second, there is some bad language and a lot of graphic violence.

Any additional comments?

Yes, this book has Zombies!

No Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

After listening to Grahame-Smith's previous work 'Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter' and reading the intro blurb for this book, I was expecting something a lot more over-the-top than what we got. It was basically a revisionist version of the first two weeks of the life of baby Jesus. I was expecting a lot more magical/supernatural mayhem than what we actually got. For what it was, it was well written and it certainly was good enough to listen to the whole thing once I got started, but I think the intro blurb over-emphasized certain aspects which were really minor, short parts of the overall book.

Would you recommend Unholy Night to your friends? Why or why not?

Probably not. It is a little too far from the historical biblical story for mainline fans, but not far enough from the historical version for the hardcore sci-fi/supernatural crowd of listeners.

What does Peter Berkrot bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The narrator was excellent. I particularly loved his voice work for Herod the Great. The characters all had clearly distinct voices and you never had any problem knowing who was who from just his voice. He also did a good job with the women's voices - enough different from the men, but not stretched so far as to be annoyingly fake.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

I'd probably go see the movie. But then I probably average seeing one movie a week, so I see a lot of movies and seeing a movie doesn't qualify as a special 'event' to me.

Surprisingly good!

I don't review very often but I feel compelled to review this one. I bought this one expecting something along the lines of Christopher Moore's 'Lamb,' but it is nothing like that. This is the story of Christ's birth told from a wise man perspective. Specifically, from Balthazar's POV. (Although third person.) There's enough history included for verisimilitude, but this is definitely a ' what if ' sort of thing. At times violent and gruesome, and sometimes startlingly lovely, this is a listen more than once book. Five stars across the board. You won't be disappointed.

Great twist ...

Would you listen to Unholy Night again? Why?

Yes .. I will listen to it again... Loved it!

Who was your favorite character and why?

Herod... Miserable little Cretan.

Any additional comments?

Just a wonderful story . A twist that doesn't diminish the integrity of the original story.
Thank you for this book!

Unholy WOW

Love the author and how he weaves fact and fiction into a mesmerizing story. Great narration, even if some parts were hard to hear, not because of volume but content.

Unexpectedly Legendary

An unassuming title, book cover, and description quickly blossoms into an unforgettable, exciting adventure and origin story of one of Earth's largest religions. I totally didn't see this one coming and enjoyed every minute of it! A must listen!

Not a horror story

I was duped into thinking this was a horror story. All it really is is a glorified account of an alternate history of the birth of Jesus. If you're into that you'll probably like it but don't expect this to be a scary or a horror story at all.

Wow! So entertaining!

Where does Unholy Night rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

One of the best two audiobooks I've listened to.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Unholy Night?

I liked how the plot continually returned to an ibex's point of view. The author refers to ibexes as clueless animals, but the Nubian ibex has some rather extraordinary traits -- admittedly off-topic for the book.
I also liked how the author introduced each chapter with a relevant quote from the Bible. I originally thought the book would be sacrilegious, but the opposite was true. "The Hebrew God" provided miracle after miracle -- supernatural, personal -- that even the characters' hardest hearts softened and came to believe, not necessarily fully understanding why, that the newborn Jesus was more than a usual infant.

Which scene was your favorite?

I suppose the scene in Bethlehem when "the three wise men" first entered the stable with far-from-reverent dispositions and, the next day, returned to protect Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, permitting all six of them to escape the town despite Herod the Great's intent desire to have them captured and/or killed.
The Bible actually says very little about the Three Wise Men (or kings or magi or, in some modern versions of the Bible, astrologers). Only one book of the Bible, the Gospel of Matthew, mentions them, with scant details. Most of our collective knowledge of the magi comes from culturally specific story-telling, carols, myths, denominational beliefs, traditions, Christmas decorations such as crèches, and supposed relics. The Bible doesn't specify when the Wise Men arrived to find Mary and Jesus, what caused the bright light in the sky to direct their path, how many traveled together to find Jesus, etc. Even their names, races, and countries of origin are mysteries, despite the consistency of most Americans' traditions that don't waver from the "facts," suggesting they are facts indeed. The author was smart to recognize the many unknowns in the biblical account and recognize a story was there. He could liberally use creative license for his characters and plot without drifting from the Bible and long-held traditions. I won't introduce a spoiler, but even in the last chapter, which tells the decades-later fate of Melchior and Gaspar, two of the Wise Men, the text might seem too convenient or rushed (as some reviewers have written), but this scene, too, is consistent with some Christians' traditions.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The Bible passages and dialogue that focused on (1) Mary's burden of bearing a child that wasn't her husband's (or boyfriend's, at the time) and (2) the foreboding of John the Baptist's and Jesus' suffering and death.
The author, again, stayed true to the Bible and tradition and described Mary's pregnancy and birth as an immaculate conception and not, for example, that Mary secretly cheated on Joseph, got pregnant by an unnamed stranger, and concocted a story about her miraculous pregnancy to save her relationship (and her life). And the author never mocked visits by angels, prophetic announcements (e.g., Simeon, although the prophetess Anna didn't make her way into the book), etc. Other characters in the book might have scoffed at what Mary and Joseph knew to be true, but the author presented these inter-character conflicts as "the blind could not see."

Any additional comments?

For those who thought the book had lots of shortcomings, if you're so inclined, read the Gospels of Matthew and Luke in the Bible and brush up on your magi-tradition knowledge. I think you'll see the author did a great job of crafting a very original story that stayed true to what is known or believed about the Wise Men, Mary's pregnancy, Jesus' infancy, Herod's reign of terror and death, Roman conquests, and even the Great Fire of Rome in A.D. 64, when active persecution of Christians (and, hence, deep-seated faithfulness to the church and to other believers) escalated.

Holy$$$$$!!

Loved it. What a page turner. A must read!! Smith is a master of story telling. Highly recommended. Can't wait for his next creation.