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The Riptide Ultra-Glide: A Novel | [Tim Dorsey]

The Riptide Ultra-Glide: A Novel

Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state. Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market.
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Publisher's Summary

Welcome to Paradise!

Freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall are going to sunny Florida for a modest romantic vacation. But the motel they picked isn't quite a pastel paradise, and they have to be midwesterners and make the best of a bad situation. Except bad goes to worse, and a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state.

Meanwhile, the next Mexican-American War is being fought, this time in Fort Lauderdale, between the Kentucky mafia and the Oxy cartel over control of the lucrative pain clinic market. Latinos are turning up dead, hillbillies are wandering the beach trampling sand castles, and cops continue arresting doctors wriggling out of office windows.

But it's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive. Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever!

Back at their motel, the McDougalls are peeking out the curtains. They've become very popular, especially with Serge, who believes he's found the perfect stars for the pilot of his new TV series.

Are the McDougalls safer with Serge or should they take their chances on the mean streets?

Will Coleman get tired of signing autographs?

Can pelicans be used as murder weapons?

Is time running out for our heroes?

And, finally, the question still on everyone's lips: What's up with Florida? Stay tuned for all the answers in...The Riptide Ultra-Glide!

©2013 Tim Dorsey (P)2013 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (155 )
5 star
 (79)
4 star
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3 star
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1 star
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Overall
4.2 (139 )
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Story
4.4 (137 )
5 star
 (86)
4 star
 (28)
3 star
 (13)
2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Paul Scoles New York, NY 03-18-13
    Paul Scoles New York, NY 03-18-13 Member Since 2009

    The Cat reviews

    HELPFUL VOTES
    19
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    15
    4
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    "what a combination!"

    What could possibly be more fun than a Tim Dorsey book read by Oliver Wyman? (answer, a Christopher Moore book read by Oliver Wyman, but its a near miss). Dorsey takes his irrepressible Serge through a chase involving two sets of drug dealers, shady pain clinics, Coleman becoming a celebrity, and an unsuspecting couple from Minnesota. Never lose track of even chance characters in a Dorsey novel, because they'll probably be back. I'm particularly fond of his way of retelling, Rasholmon like, the tale from different angles.

    Wyman, as always, is a joy. He's like a one man repertory company. He's got a voice (the right voice!) for each character, he never confuses them, or you. I've got a library full of books i wouldn't otherwise read, just because Wyman reads them.

    "Rip tide Ultra Glide" ends with Serge racing off with the couple, and you're glad the story hasn't ended , because you know there's another on the way.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    monica ROSWELL, GA, United States 03-11-13
    monica ROSWELL, GA, United States 03-11-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    13
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    124
    9
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    0
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    "One of Dorsey's BEST!!"
    Where does The Riptide Ultra-Glide rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    One of Tim Dorsey's BEST. You gotta love Serge!! Him and Coleman are in great form in this book. Tim Dorsey can do no wrong for me, but this was one of his best. A great RIDE!


    What other book might you compare The Riptide Ultra-Glide to and why?

    There is no comparision! Fun, Funny, Strange, Horrific, all at the same time.


    What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?

    Excellent, He IS Serge and Coleman!!


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The entire book moved you to laugh and to be sick all at the same time.


    Any additional comments?

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!! But you have to have a sense of humor!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Carla 03-05-13
    Carla 03-05-13
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not Surfing"
    Where does The Riptide Ultra-Glide rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    It was not what I thought. However, I just picked it out without reading much about the actual storyline. I did like it. I thought it was different, and not the same predictalble storyline. I would reccomend it.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of The Riptide Ultra-Glide?

    I couldn't pick one. Just the way the 2 main characters intereacted with each other.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    pdesigngallery Temecula, CA, United States 03-11-13
    pdesigngallery Temecula, CA, United States 03-11-13
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "First Read of Tim Dorsey - Not Impressed."
    What disappointed you about The Riptide Ultra-Glide?

    Tim Dorsey is no Carl Hiaasen.

    The voice over actor was so annoying that I was not able to listen for more than 5 minutes at a time. The plot was rather unbelievable and overly dramatic. The dialog was strained, unnatural and just lame.

    The book (which I put down 1/4 way through) left me feeling more ripped off then entertained.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    not sure


    What didn’t you like about Oliver Wyman’s performance?

    Oliver Wyman's characters felt unnatural and his narration was painfully dry.


    What character would you cut from The Riptide Ultra-Glide?

    All of them.


    Any additional comments?

    none

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bradford C. Snodgrass Indianapolis, In 01-29-13
    Bradford C. Snodgrass Indianapolis, In 01-29-13 Member Since 2012

    Weiner

    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
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    87
    13
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    0
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    "Really bad"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Maybe someone who smokes a lot of pot


    Has The Riptide Ultra-Glide turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No


    Would you be willing to try another one of Oliver Wyman’s performances?

    No his cartoon voices added to the annoyance of the book


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Riptide Ultra-Glide?

    The stoey was very shallow and repetitive


    Any additional comments?

    This is the first time I wish I could get my money back.

    3 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert San Diego, CA, USA 02-18-13
    Robert San Diego, CA, USA 02-18-13 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
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    131
    2
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    0
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    "Terrible!"
    What would have made The Riptide Ultra-Glide better?

    Terrible, disgusting characters - rambling nonsensical story line. I listed to a half hour thinking that it has to get better but finally gave up.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Tim Dorsey again?

    No


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Riptide Ultra-Glide?

    Can't believe it got published.


    Any additional comments?

    Save your money.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful

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