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The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3 | [Rick Gualtieri]

The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3

Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch. Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet. A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have... Lord help us all! The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it’s not going to be easy.
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Publisher's Summary

Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch.

Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.

A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have... Lord help us all!

The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it’s not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.

Now Bill must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.

The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3 is a foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Scary Dead Things.

©2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2013 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (176 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Cliff madison, MS, United States 08-16-13
    Cliff madison, MS, United States 08-16-13 Member Since 2015

    I like scifi and urban fantasy. I don't like romance novels. If you are the same my reviews should help.

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    "The title says it all."
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes. it was funny and I enjoyed it. The humor is good and I like the way the series pokes fun at all the tropes that have taken over all the other vampire novels.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The snarky humor. I actually did a spit take in the gym when listening to the scene where Bill meets the chieftan of the feet.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf?

    Definitely.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    It definitely made me laugh out loud in several section and I don't do that very often.


    Any additional comments?

    If you are a fan of the romantic vampire stories which now dominate the genre then stay away from this one. This is primarily for guys. The humor is low-brow bathroom/gamer humor. The book is name mourning woods for goodness sake! If you want angst ridden vampires falling in love with a plucky heroine against their better judgement, or sparkly emo-vampires this isn't for you. Then again, if you have already read the first two books you already know what the series is about. If you like the others you will like this one if you didn't don't bother.I would say that by then end some of the jokes were getting a bit repetitious which is why I gave the story 4 stars instead of 5. Also, there are some technical issues with the recording. The voice will sound very close one minute and far away the next. Also, in several sections a paragraph was repeated twice. Hence the lower value for performance.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dave Upper Tantallon, NS, Canada 06-08-13
    Dave Upper Tantallon, NS, Canada 06-08-13 Member Since 2013

    Audiobooks are great tool in dealing with my ADHD. They limit distractions while listening and I don't have to sit still. PS. I can't spell

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Road Trip to the Great White North"

    Free Will Bill and company head north to my native land (Canada) as the vampire nation's last chance to avoid a war with big foot. Doctor Death the Diplomat's task is further complicated by the French vampire, Francious, the vampire ruling Canada. Control the maple and control Canada. "Tom" Hortons and "eh" punctuation hilarity ensue. Bill continues his inventive manipulation of his 4-letter vocabulary while Sally proves whose the "Alpha" in their relationship.

    This series has become a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. The more I enjoy it, the more I fear my PC quotient is failing. For some reason I find this addictive series 100 proof entertainment; maybe it's because its "juvenile" humour makes me feel young again. The Tomes of Bill is a paranormal parody poking pun at packing, prods, paramores, politics, and peaceniks. Blobs, Bullwinkle, Draculas, environmentalists, french, human friends, nerds, ninjas, Scooby-doo, tree-huggers, vampires, yeti, witches, zombies, no beings are sacred.

    The ending cries out for another Doctor Death adventure. This was the best performance yet by narrator Christopher John Fetherolf . He really nailed the "outrrrageous" french accent a la Monty Python. Christopher John Fetherolf has become Free Will Bill's voice and I really hope he continues as the narrator.

    Strap on your little boy shorts and enjoy.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andrew 03-26-15
    Andrew 03-26-15 Member Since 2012
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    "A Lot of fun, but not great literature"

    I like the Tome of Bill series, and this one delivered at the same level as the previous books.
    is it ever going to be considered a classic?, made into a big budget Hollywood blockbuster? or make the list of books to read before you die? ...emphatically no.
    it is however a lot of fun and makes for an entertaining read.
    My only real gripe about it is the author's brutal and unnessessary use of the word "thus".

    The narration is good and keeps faithfully to the characters. ..you can almost see Sally's eye rolls.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tara Bryner Noury 02-08-15 Member Since 2015
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    "So funny! Even the title is hilarious!!!"
    What made the experience of listening to The Mourning Woods the most enjoyable?

    Gualtieri is so talented! He creates the funniest situations for Bill and his friends get into. I've had the pleasure of both reading and listening to this series, and listening was, for me, much more fun! Christopher John Fetherolf is the perfect narrator. He can pull off all the sarcastic comments and dry sense of humor without missing a beat. This author and narrator make a great team!


    What did you like best about this story?

    Gualtieri's creativity! He always has new types of characters that you can get into. And he can find the humor in everyting!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Vampire versus Sasquatch


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Since this is mostly comedy, there isn't much that would tug at your heart strings...but the fact that all of Bill's friends/roommates volunteered to go with him to the meeting in the woods to support him, even though they knew they could have been killed.


    Any additional comments?

    This series is a MUST! Especially if you love funny and different. These books are great both reading and listening.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    RebeccaLws Bakersfield, CA, United States 07-20-13
    RebeccaLws Bakersfield, CA, United States 07-20-13 Member Since 2008

    50+ year old female geek

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    "Funniest book in a long time!"

    I liked and laughed at the first two Tome Of Bill books, and then I got to this one. I have to disclose that I am a 53 year old female scientist - not the target audience for male aimed humor. However this one had me LMAO! I still think of Turd!, Turd!, Turd! and bust up in giggles!

    I read the kindle version of all of the Tome Of Bill books first, but I had to come back and pick this one up in Audible because I wanted to read it again and I heard that this narrator was so good - and I almost NEVER reread books.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bryon 07-09-13
    Bryon 07-09-13 Member Since 2012
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    "I WANT MORE!!!!"
    What did you love best about The Mourning Woods?

    The absolute unique plot and characters of not only this installment but the entire series.


    What other book might you compare The Mourning Woods to and why?

    This is such a unique story, I cant really compare it to other series.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    The conquering nerd takes his show on the road.


    Any additional comments?

    I wish book 4 was available on audible.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    sarah 06-19-13
    sarah 06-19-13

    all books horror. especially zombie

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    "Bill is the coolest Vampire!!"

    I love the mix of Horror and humor Rick Gualtieri puts into his writing. All three of these books are fresh , original, a bit scary and downright hilarious. I love it give us more!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Scott Pike Salem, OR USA 06-18-13
    Scott Pike Salem, OR USA 06-18-13 Member Since 2013

    bigreader

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Nice new addition"
    Would you listen to The Mourning Woods again? Why?

    I liked the first two books dry humor and I identify with the hero. Except he has a job.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The dry wit of the protagonist and how he plays off his three friends and surprisingly also kicks butt.


    Have you listened to any of Christopher John Fetherolf’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    Not outside of this series.


    If you could take any character from The Mourning Woods out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    From the description, Sally. Horrible personality, great body but more loyal than you'd believe possible.


    Any additional comments?

    If you don't mind a little coarse language this is pretty funny and worth trying out the series with Bill the Vampire.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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