From the creator of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.
Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense. But when his girlfriend dumps him for the most insufferable guy in town, Albert decides to fight back - even though he can’t shoot, ride, or throw a punch. Fortunately, he teams up with a beautiful gunslinger who’s tough enough for the both of them. Unfortunately, she’s married to the biggest, meanest, most jealous badass on the frontier. Turns out Albert has just discovered a million and one ways to die in the West.
©2014 Seth MacFarlane (P)2014 Random House Audio
I read, and write. And read and write. I am an auditory learner, and thus my love for Audible.
The author. It is so refreshing to see a visual entertainment artist have the chops to put words on paper in an engaging and interesting novel. He's talented and his book shows it.
Anna, by far. I'm sure the upcoming movie will reflect this as well.
THE NARRATOR DOES NOT MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT VOLUME! It is terribly frustrating how the narrator reads dialogue in a loud booming voice and story narration in a quiet one. I have to CONSTANTLY change my volume to accommodate him, which is frustrating by itself, but even moreso how his booming dialogue narration scares the crap out of me when I'm not expecting it. Plus, I'm listening with other people around so I'm trying to be considerate and that's made more difficult as well by having to adjust the volume after the fact.
This question is too similar to "who was my favorite character" and I don't feel like answering.
I feel like I just filled out a homework assignment worksheet... :)
As I have not been here long, I do not have much to measure by but on it our, it ranks highest.
I loved the main character, He reminds me of myself. As if I was the main character.
Jonathan Frakes gave each character a 'voice'. He brought each one to life.
Knowing this book was written after he movie, I think Seth already has that covered.
I honestly think this book was more entertaining then the movie. There is a level of details included in the book that make it great.
Inostrancevia - the uber Gorgonopsian.
Yes. This book is essential reading for all humans interested in any / all of the following:
1. spending an enjoyable 5 hrs listening to a funny story; 2. laughing when a humorous scene unfolds - and my unofficial count came to 32 give or take a couple; and 3. rooting for the underdog character reeling from the blows but staying strong and sliding into a relationship upgrade before the curtain falls.
The girlfriend of Albert's best friend. Where to begin? No joke - get this audiobook and let her world wash over you like a sticky spatter of love. What a woman! She is a hard working young lady absolutely dedicated to providing her diverse, loyal customer base 100% guaranteed satisfaction. Her front door, back door, even the upstairs window are always open. She will bend over backwards, even get on her knees to please her clients.
With all of this said, don't forget that she is also deeply in love with Edward, her not-so-worldly shoe repairing boyfriend. Their love is the love that lasts through all time. Edward is a lucky man to have her by his side.
He narrated this audiobook cleanly and mixed in some well done voices for the diverse cast of characters.
I was particularly touched in the scene where Edward shows up at his girlfriend's work a bit early before she is done for the day in order to surprise her. He has to wait a few minutes becausesShe is getting drilled hard by one of her customers. When he hears her soft rhythmic moaning subside and then her begging for her cowboy to cum in her mouth, he knew it wouldn't be long before she would walk down those stairs and into his loving arms. Their embrace in the lobby was as tender a moment as I can ever recall. Love IS a wonderous thing!
Buy this audiobook! A wonderful way to spend an afternoon. If you don't find this book funny, then you are not the answer, you are the problem!
Hey Seth, hope there is more stuff like this in that dome of yours. This is my kind of out of left field, bust up laughing book so rarely offered by Audible these days. Keep pumping out the good stuff, and I will keep coughing up the jack to buy it.
Some people are very good listeners....
Jonathan Frakes made this story most enjoyable!
The crazy characters and edgy comedy.
This was the first for me...certainly won't be the last.
How the good guy always gets the girl in the end, especially in cheesy westerns.
This was an entertaining and fun story, just the way nature (and Seth MacFarlane) had intended.
Report Inappropriate Content