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Mercury Falls: Mercury, Book 1 | [Robert Kroese]

Mercury Falls: Mercury, Book 1

Christine Temetri is at her wits’ end. For years she’s covered the increasingly bizarre activities of End Times cults for the Banner, a religious news magazine. Yet Christine, who once dreamed of being a "real" writer, has nothing to show for the gig other than a regular paycheck and serious doubt that Armageddon will occur in time for her next deadline. But after a mysterious man entrusts her with a locked briefcase and orders to "take it to Mercury", Christine finds herself face-to-face with a ping-pong-playing angel by the name of Galileo Mercury.
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Publisher's Summary

Christine Temetri is at her wits’ end. For years she’s covered the increasingly bizarre activities of End Times cults for the Banner, a religious news magazine. Yet Christine, who once dreamed of being a "real" writer, has nothing to show for the gig other than a regular paycheck and serious doubt that Armageddon will occur in time for her next deadline. But after a mysterious man entrusts her with a locked briefcase and orders to "take it to Mercury", Christine finds herself face-to-face with a ping-pong-playing angel by the name of Galileo Mercury.

It seems Mercury was sent from heaven to make preparations for Armageddon, yet became sidetracked by the earthly delights he discovered: Rice Krispy treats, table tennis, and beer, to name just a few. Mercury’s concern for the fate of mankind is middling at best, but he is happy to educate Christine on the details of the elaborate, if poorly organized, calamity to come. When Christine inadvertently saves the Antichrist - an obnoxious, thirtysomething gamer who still lives with his mother - from celestial assassination, she begins an ambitious battle to stop the Apocalypse and save the world. But the heavenly host is nothing if not persistent, and Christine, aided only by an apathetic angel and a reluctant Antichrist, has her work cut out for her.

Packed with outrageous characters, Mercury Falls is a viciously funny (and occasionally absurd) morality tale for the 21st century.

©2010 Robert Kroese (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.9 (280 )
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4.2 (256 )
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  •  
    Amazon Customer benson, AZ, United States 01-09-13
    Amazon Customer benson, AZ, United States 01-09-13 Member Since 2012

    Aging hippie

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Irreverent, inventive, witty."

    It's time for the apocalypse, isn't it? All the signs are lining up: wars in the mid-east, the anti-christ has been selected, and six of the seven books about that boy sorcerer and his friends have been published.

    So why is Christine always in the right place, at the right time, to do what? Is she supposed to help or hinder? In fact, it's not really clear who is in charge and what they are trying to accomplish. Angels seem to be operating at cross purposes.

    As Christine bounces around the world to interview the general for Israel, her house is being vandalized. Why would anyone use ketchup to draw a backwards swastika on her carpet? And, because it's backwards it doesn't count as a hate crime? Oh, well, now she has a new linoleum floor in her breakfast nook, thanks to the premature death of a neighbor. At least it is a "welcoming" pattern ...

    Don't miss the apocalyse vs flooring theory of history. Countless times flooring issues are ignored because of the expectation that it won't matter anymore soon, only to have to deal with it after all because the Apocalypse fails to appear on schedule. Again.

    The book has a great assortment of characters, acting rationally and irrationally. Humor abounds and it even all makes sense, in the end, mostly. Don't miss the cherubim who works for tips - tips he insists on giving out such as "ants walking single file means rain".

    The story flows well without slow spots. The reader is well matched to the material to bring the whole squirrely thing to life. It does for the apocalypse what "Caddyshack" did for golf.

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Las Vegas, NV, United States 08-01-13
    Amazon Customer Las Vegas, NV, United States 08-01-13 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Highly recommended!"

    Love this book! I would have never guessed that a book about the Apocalypse could be so enjoyable! If you enjoy the writing style of Douglas Adams, you will really enjoy this book. It is witty and has a great plot, and the characters are interesting and funny. I laughed out loud quite often. The narrator is also excellent, he does a great job distinguishing the voices too. Highly recommnended! Can't wait to listen to the rest of the series!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    A. Hogue Birmingham, AL 10-03-13
    A. Hogue Birmingham, AL 10-03-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "So much fun"

    This book is probably my favorite in the series, though I loved the whole series and was sad when it ended.

    Mercury is a great character. His take on "being a prawn" as opposed to a pawn is hilarious. I want to say that from now on.

    Very funny, very entertaining and worth reading the whole series.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Salpy Toronto, ON, Canada 08-30-13
    Salpy Toronto, ON, Canada 08-30-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "An entertaining lighthearted listen"
    What did you love best about Mercury Falls?

    This is a book that translates very well to an audiobook. It was a fast paced entertaining tale that kept me both amused and interested throughout.


    What did you like best about this story?

    It's just so amusing and irreverent.


    What about Kevin Stillwell’s performance did you like?

    Very smoothly told with great character portrayal.


    If you could take any character from Mercury Falls out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    Mercury for being just so blase about the entire situation.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Laura Falls Church, VA, United States 07-23-14
    Laura Falls Church, VA, United States 07-23-14 Member Since 2011

    belfebe

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "It is okay"

    The premise of the story is great. The writing is good, if overwrought. The performance is superb. It's just that it goes on and on and it could have used some clever editing to move the story more smoothly.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Stacy CHARLESTON, WV, United States 02-05-14
    Stacy CHARLESTON, WV, United States 02-05-14 Member Since 2015

    Say something about yourself!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great story"
    Where does Mercury Falls rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Awesome story, almost believable. If you enjoy stories on the supernatural or spiritual books you will enjoy this one. I hope he writes more.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    James 01-27-15
    James 01-27-15 Member Since 2013
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    "Apocalypse now?"

    Or a funny thing happened on the way to the apocalypse.
    If Douglas Adams had written the book of revelation... Is the feel you get from this book. The humor hits you from all sides underlying and otherwise. But you don't loose the storyline.
    This is a well written and well read book.... In fact the narrator is about as good as any I have listened to.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Glenn Encino, CA, United States 01-02-15
    Glenn Encino, CA, United States 01-02-15 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "It's just not a great book"

    It's not a bad book, but it's just not a great book. I wanted to like it and stuck with it to about the 3/4 mark, but had to give up when I realized that I just don't care how it ends. The characters aren't really likable, the humor didn't make me laugh, there was no action, the back story was really boring. It just kinda wanders on and on. Others may like it but this book just didn't do it for me.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Søren 11-15-14
    Søren 11-15-14

    Give me a good audiobook over TV anyday :)

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    "Spoiled by narrator, but not that good anyway"
    Would you try another book from Robert Kroese and/or Kevin Stillwell?

    Not from Kevin Stillwell :o I'd maybe give Robert Kroese another chance, but not likely


    What was most disappointing about Robert Kroese’s story?

    If this is funny, it must be in an American sense of the word, I dont get..? I found it boring and with only a few funny moments.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Kevin Stillwell’s performances?

    Not even if I got money for listening.. When he talks normally its fine, but he has zero talent for foreign accents (or any other accent), he just sound stupid when he tries.


    Any additional comments?

    If you consider buying this because of the recommendations - beware its NOTHING like Douglas Adams as someone wrote, no dry wit, intelligent humor or subtle jokes - its like Donald Duck funny..

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lakisha 08-13-14
    Lakisha 08-13-14 Member Since 2007
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "So-so story of the apocalypse"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    Not really. I enjoy these quirky takes on the end of the world, but this one just didn't quite do it for me. This book has a lot of humor, but then the author would go off on a bizarre tangent explaining in excruciating detail that does nothing to add to the value of the storyline. At one point i realized I had zoned out on almost 10 minutes of meaningless exposition about how certain phenomenon of the universe can't follow rules, but how the very act of not following rules is a rule itself, so sometimes the phenomenon will follow the rules just so its not following the rules of not following the rules.


    If you’ve listened to books by Robert Kroese before, how does this one compare?

    I'm not sure that I would listen to another book by this author. or if I did, i would select the abridged version. It might cut out the unnecessary parts that don't actually add to the story itself.


    Any additional comments?

    I can't believe I'm saying this, because I would NEVER usually recommend this, but you might want to look into getting the abridged version.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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