• Lamb

  • The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
  • By: Christopher Moore
  • Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
  • Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (9,280 ratings)

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Lamb  By  cover art

Lamb

By: Christopher Moore
Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
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Publisher's summary

The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his 30th birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years - except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in this divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work, "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" ( Philadelphia Inquirer).

Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

©2002 Christopher Moore (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore...gets style points for his wild imagination as Biff recalls his journey with Jesus...into and out of the clutches of Balthasar, then into a Buddhist monastery in China and finally off to India, where they dabble in the spiritual and erotic aspects of Hinduism. The author gets more serious in his climax, offering a relatively straightforward, heartfelt account of the Passion and Christ's final days that includes an intriguing spin on how the Resurrection might have happened." (Publishers Weekly)
"An instant classic...terrific, funny, and poignant." (Rocky Mountain News)

What listeners say about Lamb

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    6,268
  • 4 Stars
    1,855
  • 3 Stars
    716
  • 2 Stars
    245
  • 1 Stars
    196
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5,408
  • 4 Stars
    1,257
  • 3 Stars
    365
  • 2 Stars
    112
  • 1 Stars
    91
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5,117
  • 4 Stars
    1,297
  • 3 Stars
    523
  • 2 Stars
    166
  • 1 Stars
    139

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Blasphemus or righteous?

I was skeptical of this book. I thought, how dare someone write their own version of events?! But I decided to have an open mind, after all, I absolutely loved "A Dirty Job". So, here's Biff & Josh (Jesus) growing up in Jerusalem. They have a typical childhood, just two young boys growing up in Roman controlled Israel. Getting into typical little boy mischief with the Roman guards, going to school together, and both having a crush on the same girl (Mary of Magdalen) ; with the exception that Josh must deal with being The Messiah. He knows he's The Messiah, because his Mother won't let him forget, being the stereo-typical Jewish Mother that she is.
Finally Josh and Biff come of age, and it's time for Josh to figure out what exactly a Messiah is supposed to do. So, off they go to find The Three Wise Men. Along the way, they learn the ways of the Buddhists, Hindu's and even walk into a cult sacrifice ceremony, before finally returning home.
I have to say here, that through out all of their adventures, Josh remains true to who and what he is. The one thing I liked most about this book is the believability. Reading the Bible, many of the Gospels are almost surreal, and the speech difficult to understand. Moore brings everything down to Earth, gives Jesus errrr I mean Josh, a personality that fits, just a down to earth man who happens to be the Son of God, and can heal the sick, raise the dead, etc... Even conversations that took place in The Bible are brought down to earth, and written in such a manner that allows one to actually believe that is the way they would have gone down. So, was the book Blasphemous, or righteous? Well, since it never really deviated from actual events, I would have to say righteous. One just need to keep an open mind while reading, or listening as the case may be.

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123 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Perfect for intelligent comedy!

After many laughs in the first 10 minutes, I couldn't believe this book could contain 15 hours of worthwhile listening. Currently at hour 13, I can't believe the journey I have taken with J.F.C. and Biff -- experiencing wonders of the East and loving the bibilical references that have me chuckling every minute - sometimes several times a minute. As a semi-learned bibilcal scholar, I found the author's creativity to be brilliant! For example - did you know how chinese food became tradition on J.C.'s b-day? Or how bunnies became associated with bad J.C. days? Now you will.

I'm very impressed Moore could put so many humorous references for such an epistle! Perfect for a long drive, or a whole weekend of cooking for Easter dinner! Best in a couple long segments rather than several smaller segments!

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78 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

A Worthy Book, indeed

This is a favorite book of mine. Biff is Jesus' best childhood friend, and Biff has been raised from the dead to write his witness of Jesus' young life. Problem is, Biff is a real smart-arse. Typical of Christopher More, there is plenty of chuckles. Fortunately for us, it's better written than anything else he's written. I've given this book to friends of different faiths, both liberal and conservative, and did not O-ffend. Fisher Steven's narration is a bit scratchy, but you get past it. The witness account of Biff is funny, touching, moving and lasting.

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54 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Lamb Bam Thank You Ma'am!!!

OK - I know that heading is way too corny but you should be thankful you don't have to read the other ones I came up with :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book - I'm on my 3rd listen since I used my very first Audible credit to get it - over 100 books later I still rate it in my top 5 of all time! If you are religious in an "uptight-don't-make-jokes-about-the-Bible-or-you-will-burn-in hell" way then you probably won't like it - a sense of humor is a requirement for this one. I think Jesus would have laughed his ass off reading this - so lighten up already and enjoy the holy genius that Christopher Moore has to offer.

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48 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Not your typical Easter story

I am in love with book. I downloaded it on a whim, and then avoided it for a while, not really sure if I wanted to listen to a book that some might deem a bit iffy in how it dealt with the life of Christ.

Boy, am I glad I listened to it. This book, more than anything I've read or listened to in church growing up, really made me step back and look at my faith and the life of Christ/Joshua in a completely different way. Highly irreverent, extremely witty and chock full of laugh moments, "Lamb" made me step back and look at Joshua as a real person with real issues and emotions for the first time.

How can you not love Biff? He's eccentric, selfish and carnal - but his heart is 100% with his friends. We could all use a friend like that.

I know people have written that they weren't too keen on Stevens' narrative - but I LOVED it. I think he did an excellent job - especially with Joshua's voice.

Two thumbs up! And great for traveling across Texas!

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32 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Moore is hilarious!!

I read my first Christopher Moore book when "A Dirty Job" was released. Since then, I have read EVERYTHING he has published. I absolutely love his stuff. He is one of the most entertaining writers I have had the pleasure of coming across. "Lamb" is definitely one of my favorites. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I cried. When I saw that it was finally offered on Audible, I had to get it. Again, I laughed until I cried. The story of Christ's lost years from the perspective of Biff is so incredibly blasphemus that I am sure Moore will go to Hell for it, but hopefully God will give him a glass of water to take along for the trip just because Moore made people laugh. Maybe the Devil will let Catch keep him company (in his non-eating form, of coarse). I'd give this 10 stars if I could. This is a must read, but you have to go into it with an open mind and leave any preconceived notions about Jesus Christ behind. Remember, IT'S A COMEDY AND IT'S FICTION!!!!! Once you get past that, enjoy the wild ride.

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28 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny and Memorable

The first thirty to forty-five minutes of this book, I wasn't sure how I felt, but as I got pulled into the story more and more, I loved it. The narrator's voice is perfect for the main character and the story gets better as Biff and Jesus travel around the world learning different philosophies.
Some of the jokes are a little low brow, but it works and it's funny.
It's one of those books you listen to and are sad when it's over.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and do recomend it to others.

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20 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderfully made, wonderfully read

The story of Jesus' missing years - his adolesence and early adulthood - is here told by his decidedly worldly best friend, Biff. Don't worry; it's not disrespectful. It's actually joyous, in its own hilarious way. The idea that Christ had a sense of humor was a huge theological heresy in the 13th century. It shouldn't be so today. As on "A Dirty Job", also by Moore, Fisher Stevens (the narrator) is really, really good. He completely inhabits the prose and totally sells it. I wish he had narrated all of Mr Moore's books.

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18 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Offensive for all the wrong reasons

I notice that most of the other people who rated this as a one-star read are women. Seems that I am not alone in not being able to see the "humor" in the Mary Magdalene rape scene, masturbation, animal fornication, or the endless descriptions of a 13-year-old boy's innermost thoughts upon seeing [insert here a part of the female anatomy normally covered by clothing]. Don't misunderstand me: I wasn't offended because these despicable/schoolboy acts and thoughts are attributed to Christ. The few and far between parts where Christ actually makes an appearance in the book are really quite benign and non-controversial. No, all of this nonsense is perpetrated by the main character, his best friend Biff. I tried to keep going, hoping it would get better, but by page 150 or so (not sure . . . I was listening to it as an audio book) where Biff is being tended to by eight Chinese concubines for pages upon pages, I just had to quit.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

WWJD? He'd buy this book!

Would you listen to Lamb again? Why?

I actually listened to Lamb twice in a row. I mean, I finished listening on the way to work one day, and I started over from the beginning on my way home. I didn't want the story to end.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Lamb?

On Passover night, when Maggie (Mary Magdalene) anointed Joshua's feet with oil, I cried so hard I almost couldn't see the road (as I was driving to work). It was one of the most beautiful and touching renditions of the story I've ever heard.

What about Fisher Stevens’s performance did you like?

I think it's definitely tricky to tell a story about the life of Jesus without making it sound cliche or just totally sacrilegious, and I believe that Christopher Moore did a fantastic job with that (although I'm sure some will heatedly disagree with me), but in addition, Fisher Stevens did an amazing job of keeping the lightheartedness, the humanity, and the love well delivered throughout the story. He does an excellent rendition of a Jewish mother to be sure. His interpretation of the friendship between Biff and Joshua was inspired.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Sex, Lies, and Matza: Second-coming this Passover to a theater near you.

Any additional comments?

I think Mel Brooks could film the hell out of this book.

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16 people found this helpful