• If You Were Here

  • A Novel
  • By: Jen Lancaster
  • Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
  • Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
  • 3.9 out of 5 stars (119 ratings)

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If You Were Here  By  cover art

If You Were Here

By: Jen Lancaster
Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
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Publisher's summary

The fiction debut of the New York Times best-selling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying - but always funny - process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John Hughes's movies made famous.

Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings - with Mac taking on the renovations himself - Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

©2011 Jen Lancaster (P)2011 Penguin

What listeners say about If You Were Here

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

A Jen Lancaster disappointment

I'm a Jen Lancaster fan and I have to say, this book is most unlike her. It's a boring tale of home improvements. It's like listening to a narration of a hundred episodes off HGTV. I'm about 6 hours into it and I've found myself turning it off several times because it was just too difficult to listen to. Actually, that would be an understatement. I have turned it off because it was downright annoying. I've yet to discover the storyline or a plot. If you like to listen about home redecorating and home remodel ad nauseum, this is your book. Otherwise, save your money and your sanity and just find another book :(

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3 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

How is this different from her memoirs?

I really love Jen Lancaster's funny, acerbic memoirs and I was so hoping that her first foray into fiction was going to be just as great. But it reads exactly like one of her memoirs, even down to the footnotes. Let's be real - Mia is Jen, Mac is Fletch, Daisy is Maisy, and her best friend Tracey is Stacey. Even the narrator is exactly the same and sounds just like she does when reading "Bitter is the New Black". I wish Jen had tried to write this in another style. It works really well for memoirs but doesn't translate as well to fiction. Like everything else she's written, it was punchy, fast-paced, and very funny. But I still can't help feeling disappointed.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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If You Love Jen Lancaster You Will Love Mia!

What did you like best about this story?

I love Jen Lancaster's other books (all nonfiction) her first trip into the fiction genre is awesome! Fiction gave her freedom to fully submit herself and you to the fantasy of your dream house while allowing for bumps and turns in the road to keep you tuned in. While listing to this my boyfriend was happy because i was so into it that he got to play video games because i could not take the ear buds out lol! I hoped you found this helpful and enjoy your listening :D

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great listen, perfect for road trip

I was looking for a book that my mother and I could listen to on a road trip. Although we both enjoy audiobooks, we like very different genres. I read the description and thought it sounded like something we both might like. I was right.
The narration is good, she doesn't change her voice too much, especially between the women, but it really didn't both either of us. Most of all, we both laughed out lou several times, it is very funny. She isn't shy to curse, though, so if hearing the F word bothers you, this book probably isn't for you.
I recommend this book to anyone that enjoyed the movie Money Pit and any John Hughes film. We loved it, especially the ending, was really great.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Ok book by Lancaster, love her memoirs more

I didn't mind the store. Much like her memoirs. But this woman's voice bothered me more than anything. Need a different reader and I might have enjoyed a bit more.

For some reason her "argh" really bothered me. (Trust me there's plenty of them in this book.)

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Could not finish it

What would have made If You Were Here better?

This book could have used less sarcasm and less condescension. Try as I might, I could not find one character to care about.

What was most disappointing about Jen Lancaster’s story?

Most of all, the book felt mean-spirited.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

As I listened to the book, I just kept getting more and more depressed and dispirited.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Just what I expected

If you could sum up If You Were Here in three words, what would they be?

What I expected

What was one of the most memorable moments of If You Were Here?

When the Japenese business men walked in on her in the bath.

Have you listened to any of Jamie Heinlein’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Can't recall

Any additional comments?

I love Jen Lancaster's attitude and this story is pure Jen.

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