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Bill the Vampire Audiobook

Bill the Vampire

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (837 )
5 star
 (435)
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3 star
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Overall
4.3 (770 )
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1 star
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Story
4.3 (767 )
5 star
 (423)
4 star
 (219)
3 star
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2 star
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1 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Amazon Customer 09-10-16 Member Since 2016

    bessj26

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "I found this book by accident."

    found this book by accident, I honestly don't know why I listened to the sample. as soon as it started I New it was going to be good. great story, plot, characters, and humor. probably a new favorite series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Texas 07-31-16
    Amazon Customer Texas 07-31-16 Member Since 2015
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    "as good as the hype..."

    fun, some laughs, reminder of how irreverent the average 24 year old can be. only a couple mispronounced words dron the narrator, so not enough to detract.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeremy Fournier 07-18-16 Member Since 2015
    ratings
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    35
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    "performance is to fast"

    Performance is fast and narrator sticks to only a few voices. The story is interesting though

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Turner Hendersonville, TN, United States 06-17-16
    Turner Hendersonville, TN, United States 06-17-16 Member Since 2009
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    "Fun and funny read"

    I'm a fairly harsh critic so it's rare that I find a book that I will shirk responsibilities to enjoy. I shirked a little bit for this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matthew 05-31-16
    Matthew 05-31-16 Member Since 2011
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    124
    3
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    "Hilarious!"

    Just what the Dr. ordered to bring a laugh and a grin to your day!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-17-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "give it a chance"

    the first few chapters I hated this book. hated all the language thought Bill was annoying. but the more I listened the more I liked it. I am constantly laughing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patrick Lowman 05-11-16 Member Since 2015
    ratings
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    67
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    Story
    ""Bitch!...""

    The book was great! Right amount of swearing, geekiness, and sarcasm. Love the fact that it's like a middle finger to that Twilight crap. Can wait to start book two! By the way, don't do that thing where you contemplate getting this one. I did that for months, coming up with excuses why I shouldn't get it. Just get it! You won't be disappointed.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Johnny Tunbridge Wells 05-08-16
    Johnny Tunbridge Wells 05-08-16 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    Story
    "Getting tired of eating these words."

    I used up all my good vampiric mixed analogies, and jokes in the last review of a vampire novel where I mentioned that I'd sworn off reading any more of these. Then Drew Hayes, the guy who wrote the last vampire novel started a podcast with Rick Gualtieri among it's participants. Now, I'm reviewing another vampire novel.

    It shouldn't still be possible to write vampire stories that I want to read, but Rick does it. Over and over again too. Bill is amusing, mortifying, and outrageous in turns. I found him highly relatable from the very beginning with his complaints about horrible rap music, to his gaming, D&D books, psychotic DM, and weirdo roommates.

    Bill is great original vampire tale, the beginning of a series that I adore, and it's well told. I can't recommend it enough. I only dinged it one star on performance because the narrator failed to pronounce the author's name correctly, and I needed an excuse to point it out. He get's it right starting in book 4 or 5.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeff and Laurie Bristow Huntsville, AL, US 04-22-16
    Jeff and Laurie Bristow Huntsville, AL, US 04-22-16 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Awesome and Snarky"

    Really good, love the new take on the old vampire lore. Can't wait to read the rest in this series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    1_2_read 04-07-16
    1_2_read 04-07-16 Member Since 2016

    I have always been one who loves to read. I found if you follow your passions you'll always be happy.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny, slightly crude humor"

    Though it was nothing like my usual taste, I must admit I laughed out loud at times. I enjoyed the story and would read another book if this is a series. it made me smile.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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