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Bill the Vampire | [Rick Gualtieri]

Bill the Vampire

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (231 )
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4.3 (212 )
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Performance
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  •  
    gwen LaFayette, GA, United States 06-24-13
    gwen LaFayette, GA, United States 06-24-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
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    "A new twist on vampires."
    What did you love best about Bill the Vampire?

    I loved the fact he was just a regular guy.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The humor, although there was a lot of drama, was an unexpected surprise.


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    The narrator WAS the characters. He wasn't just reading lines.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    Nerd becomes Hero


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Terre Haute, IN, United States 06-08-13
    Amazon Customer Terre Haute, IN, United States 06-08-13 Member Since 2012

    I'm an avid reader/listener, a disabled Navy veteran, an MBA student at University of Phoenix, and a wife & mother of 4 children.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    ratings
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    13
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    "Going to the top of my fav's list!"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes, I have already recommended this book, actually the entire series, to all of my friends and family!


    What did you like best about this story?

    This story is light and funny. There was never a dull moment and the geeky humor had me laughing out loud in public (which resulted in many curious glances from bystanders).


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    Mr Fetherolf is also going to the top of my favorite narrators list, just under Sean Runnette, Grover Gardener, and Amanda Ronconi!!


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire and why?

    Well it is Bill, of course!!!


    Any additional comments?

    I truly loved this book, the story, the characters and the narrator!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dallas Holsworthy, Australia 06-07-13
    Dallas Holsworthy, Australia 06-07-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
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    "Enjoyable light read"

    I really enjoyed this. Its witty and funny and great light bit of escapism. Great banter between the characters and Bill is a bit of a blokey sort of bloke. His thoughts on women really cracked me up a few times. Well worth it!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dieter Canada 03-11-13
    Dieter Canada 03-11-13 Member Since 2010
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    5
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very entertaining"
    What did you love best about Bill the Vampire?

    Don't want to ruin this audio book for anyone, so wont talk about it per say. But the narrator fit the book. The story kept me going along. And Above all, it was very amusing to go through.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paul McMahon Fremantle, Australia 04-02-14
    Paul McMahon Fremantle, Australia 04-02-14 Listener Since 2007

    mcmap

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Adolescent fun for some"

    I persevered for 2 hours then gave up. I had no interest in what happened to Bill; I would have liked to follow some of the other characters, but Bill was everywhere.

    The story is told from the first person perspective … and Bill is very self absorbed and clichéd in his thoughts … a bad combination.

    The internal monologue is very adolescent ... Women are objects only for lust (and rape through thought control - forced to be obedient, submissive); powerful men (read jocks, I guess) are objects of smugness and envy; other people have no worth at all.

    Loads of self correction, self second guessing; endless asides, “Unfortunately that was probably the wrong time to pat myself on the back …”, at inappropriate moments (from the writing point of view, not the action).

    The narration didn’t help me persevere. Frustratingly, it was probably apt for the character; self important tones; almost all sentences end with an exclamation!

    It probably reads better than it narrates. Some will really like this series, and good luck to them. Give it a try by all means, but be ready to trade it back in.

    Warning to some … quite a bit of swearing … some full on, some this silly TV word, “Frigging”.

    Have a look at Kii’s review.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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