There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.
Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.
Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.
Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.
©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri
Except for a few mispronunciations ( viola, instead of voilà) the narration in this book was great. The characters--especially Bill--sounded hilarious.
I might compare it a little to the Black Knight Chronicles in the sense that both are comedic takes on vampires, but Gualtieri tells a waaay better story, much funnier, with characters that you become more invested in.
I did read the book first, before I purchased it from Audible, and although I thought it was a terrific read, Featheroff did a great job of really bringing the characters to life so that the book was even funnier.
I loved this book, and all the ones that follow! I laughed through the whole book.
I highly recommend this series--not just "Bill the Vampire"--to anyone who is into paranormal stuff. It's a great, light read with lots of action and comedy, and nothing heavy to bring you down.
who am I?
Definitely worth a read. The narrator has a good voice, unf, he doesn't "do voices," so all characters sound the same. I found this frustrating. I ended up reading (most of) the book on an android tablet, and imagining voices from the "Monster Hunters International" narrator (sorry, can't remember his name)
Im some guy in Oshkosh, WI that walks to work and has found the joy of listening to good books and values good narrators :).
“Killing a hot chick is like clubbing a baby seal”
If your ok with that quote then you’ll enjoy the book. The book paints programmers and geek culture with a huge brush. It assumes that most of them are game playing, bros before hoes, doll (action figure) collecting, social rejects one step away from the cave. Id say they talk about women as adolescents would but that assumes that boys are born with these beliefs. Out of the men in the book not one of them shows respect for or talks highly of any women unless their referencing their appearance. Bill and his friends are all about how women look or how they can get laid by them. The book is awash in stereotypes. Misogyny might be taking it too far but its certainly something that needs to be thought about. The strongest female character in the book helps Bill acquire power and keeps him from getting killed and his attitude is one of entitlement. "What more will she do for me?". They even make fun of it, Bill assumes that the female lead was a stripper because she’s beautiful (in this book you can’t be pretty and not be a stripper or hooker). She takes offense and begins to tell him that she was pursuing her PHD before she was turned. Then while Bill is trying to come up with an apology she tells him she’s kidding and that she really was a stripper.
Im bothered by the message that books like this send. We have enough problems attracting women and girls into technology related fields without encouraging and promoting a flat out hostile environment. Its such a huge part of the story that its hard to ignore. Its one comment after another.
Now for rest of the book.. I like that Bill is snarky. He’s the kind of guy that id like to be if I was getting the crap kicked out me. Rather than whining about how painful a steel toed boot to the head is Id have a quick come back that would make the beating worth it. Thats kinda how Bill is. I laughed a bit at some of his quips listening to the book. I also like that Bill can’t keep his mouth shut about being a vampire. All his friends know and its cool that they don’t freak out about it and help him keep his secret. The narrator has a good voice for Bill as well.
A question I ask. Is this book worth listening to if the result is that it violates my own since of ethics? I donno, for now I’m going to assume that Bill is going to learn and grow. Im hopeful that he will change. As for my recommendation. There are plenty of books with awesome snarky characters out there I can recommend that don’t treat women as the next lap dancer. Look at the “Dresden Files”, or “IronDruid”, or the “Greywalker series”. They have great female characters and any of those books will be enjoyable and without the possible misogyny you’ll get here.
For me the best aspect of the story is the twist on the lore. The least interesting aspect is the way Bill kinda BS's his way through much of the story.
None, as I would probably be on the menu.
Fun book. Not the best new vampire story, Bill is too mediocre in personality, but better than most the romance novels disquised as fantasy out now.
This book is Ready Player One meets Sandman Slim. A bit goofy with healthy heaps of vulgarity and violence. Each book in this series has been even more fun than the last. If you don't like this series, you're a pretentious bore.
The narrator, an audible dead-ringer for a nerdy sarcastic friend, brought Bill to life (pun intended). I absolutely loved the juxtaposition of gamer-geek guy with all the pretty kids. It had a post-high school feel, vis-à-vis social pecking order, that made it all the better. In short, Bill and his well-developed friends (and enemies) kept me wanting to hurry up and drive so I could listen more!
The verbal interchange between the characters, both nerdy and glam.
His dead-on nerd. If this guy looks like the Polo-wearing, model-looking douchebags that Bill hates, I'd say he's an amazing vocal actor.
Sally Sunset. While she looks like one of the model types, she's got it going on. Very smart but knows how to get things accomplished and work her resources. A drop-dead gorgeous politician in the vampire world.
It made me laugh out loud.
Did a good job with a variety of voices.
Nerds vrs Vamps!
Picture the cast of Big Bang Theory as you are listening to this....
My favorite character(s) were Ed and Sally. I like Ed's droll attitude and Sally's attitude and smart aleckness
He seemed to capture the attitude of the characters. BUT learn that you pronounce Viola in this context as "WaLa" not "Viola" :-)
BIll was the most memorable
The story is kind of interesting, not very complicated. But I couldn't get past the attitudes of the main character. The story is told from his perspective so his rampant objectification of any and every female is on display for the entire book. For him, a woman is a thing. A collection of body parts to be possessed. The main female lead is very smart, brave, and resourceful. But all the main character thinks about is her bottom, her lips, and how annoying it is when she rolls her eyes. At one point in the book, a powerful male vampire threatens a female vampire by saying he might compel (magically) her to allow the main character to do "whatever he wants." When the male vamp says this, the main character thinks about great that would be, because then the female vampire would have no choice but to have sex with him. So... he's ok with rape.
The main character also complains about the bad attitudes, the "frat boy" mentality, a group of male vamps have towards women but he is just as bad.
The author seems believe that because the main character is a nerd/geek who plays D&D and video games, programs for a living, and lives with two other really nerdy men, that he must also objectify women and see them only as objects for sex. And the character never evolves. Despite being exposed to to a strong-willed smart female who can and does kick him around several times. He doesn't change his attitude at all, just keeps all his smarmy thoughts to himself out of fear the lady will hit him.
I don't know who the author has been hanging out with, but this characterization of nerdy guys as incapable of recognizing a woman is a person and not a moving sex doll is giving nerdy guys a really bad name. And the rape thing really bothered me.
A good premise if not believable. Wimpy nerd becomes Vampire King. At least the Vampires don't sparkle. No whinny teenage love struck girls. A little heavy on the gratuities language that is not necessary. An truly intelligent author can express their story and be humorous without resorting to the Fin-himer.
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