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Bill the Vampire | [Rick Gualtieri]

Bill the Vampire

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (446 )
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4.2 (416 )
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4.3 (412 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Paul 08-26-15
    Paul 08-26-15

    Paul Pape Designs

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Like Buffy, with a lot more cursing"

    I can relate to Bill. He's not a sparkling model turned vampire (no spoilers, it's the title), but he could be me. A guy who works and lives a normal life who made one spur of the moment decision that changed everything. And the great thing is; He didn't become something else, he's still that same guy, just dealing with this new situation the best way a guy who shouldn't be dealing with it could. I listened to this book in two sittings, it's just that fun. Really looking forward to the rest of the series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 08-08-15 Member Since 2015
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    2
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    "interesting"
    What did you love best about Bill the Vampire?

    I like Bill ...he is normal in a gamer kinda way....he made me laugh.. really laugh


    What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

    kinda knew it was coming and there had to be "opening" for a second book... and I will get the 2nd,,,


    What aspect of Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance would you have changed?

    idk if i would of changed anything,,,


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eli Stone 06-20-15
    Eli Stone 06-20-15 Member Since 2015
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    "A perfect example of a four-star performance."

    On the surface, this is a perfectly good urban fantasy story. I like the riffs on a lot of vampire pop culture, and the protagonist is likable for the most part. But he's just a little TOO nerdy, a little TOO perverted...yes, I know he's a dateless gamer, but it kinda makes it hard to sympathize with him when he's acting like a high schooler. That, and the actor gives a performance not unlike Richard Nixon-it's interesting, but not very well-acted. Like Bill said about our food, this is salad. It's good, but it lacks some substance.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-31-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Excellent urban fantasy"

    Great narration , characters are well built and easy to get behind. realistic character reactions put this at the top of the urban fantasy list.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Henrietta Wickware 05-16-15
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    "funny"

    it was really different,realistic,funny,I will recommend to every one I know that likes vampire stories

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Creating Serenity Reviews Plaquemine, LA, United States 04-10-15
    Creating Serenity Reviews Plaquemine, LA, United States 04-10-15 Member Since 2008
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    "Hilariously outstanding!"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Bill the Vampire to be better than the print version?

    Did not read the print version but after falling in love with Rick's writing I will probably buy the books in print.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Every. Single. Thing. The geekiness behind Bill is just fabulous!


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The point of view of Bill is great but Christopher John Fetherolf really brings Bill to life.


    If you could rename Bill the Vampire, what would you call it?

    The Big Fang


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TeaLover 03-12-15
    TeaLover 03-12-15 Member Since 2011
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    "GO BILL!!"

    Loved It! This was awesome. The narration was spot on and the wise crack banter between characters was well played. Not over the top story telling. The weakness of a character was actually a strength. Refreshing in every way.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tara Bryner Noury 02-08-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Geek + Vampire = Pure Comedy"
    Where does Bill the Vampire rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Bill The Vampire (and the entire series) is one of my top three favorite audio book series of all times (and I have a huge library)


    What did you like best about this story?

    Most vampire stories have the main character as this beautiful handsome man that, when turned, women swoon and the horror of being a vampire is romanticized. WELL NOT THIS BOOK! Rick Gualtieri puts such a clever spin on this vampire series that I've never seen before. I love that he took an ordinary nerdy geeky guy, who you would see walking around at Comic-Con and turned him into a vampire.


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    Fetherolf's narration is one of the best narrations I've heard. He can pull off all the sarcastic comments and comedy that Gualiteri has in the book, and his voice is enjoyable to listen to. I'm a big critic with narrators, and this one is def one of my favorites.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire and why?

    The most memorable character is, of course, Bill himself. However, Sally is a great character that has hilarious dialogue with Bill throughout the book.


    Any additional comments?

    If you are looking for a really fun read and love books that make you laugh, this series is a MUST!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andrea Luhman 01-02-15 Member Since 2014
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    "This a very funny and entertaining book."
    Would you consider the audio edition of Bill the Vampire to be better than the print version?

    The voice narration was fabulous, and I preferred listening to it.


    What other book might you compare Bill the Vampire to and why?

    Guiltier has created a unique vampire culture, but their overall capabilities follow the more well known vampire lore. The self defacing character comedy and comedy of error remind me of the whit found in a Neil Simon play.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    When Sally hits on Bill on the Subway and Bill mentally freaks out over her grabbing his battle mage.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    A date movie you'll both enjoy.


    Any additional comments?

    I look forward to reading the entire series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    L. Yakouboff Riverside, NJ USA 12-28-14
    L. Yakouboff Riverside, NJ USA 12-28-14 Member Since 2010

    puzzle sleuth

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    "Bill the Vampire is hilarious!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire the most enjoyable?

    Except for a few mispronunciations ( viola, instead of voilà) the narration in this book was great. The characters--especially Bill--sounded hilarious.


    What other book might you compare Bill the Vampire to and why?

    I might compare it a little to the Black Knight Chronicles in the sense that both are comedic takes on vampires, but Gualtieri tells a waaay better story, much funnier, with characters that you become more invested in.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    I did read the book first, before I purchased it from Audible, and although I thought it was a terrific read, Featheroff did a great job of really bringing the characters to life so that the book was even funnier.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    I loved this book, and all the ones that follow! I laughed through the whole book.


    Any additional comments?

    I highly recommend this series--not just "Bill the Vampire"--to anyone who is into paranormal stuff. It's a great, light read with lots of action and comedy, and nothing heavy to bring you down.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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