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Bill the Vampire Audiobook

Bill the Vampire

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (527 )
5 star
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Overall
4.3 (491 )
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4.3 (488 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Laura Port Saint Lucie, FL, United States 01-09-16
    Laura Port Saint Lucie, FL, United States 01-09-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Ridiculous, geeky and absolutely fantastic!"

    Ridiculous, geeky and absolutely fantastic. I tried, unsuccessfully, to control my laughter since I was at work while listening to this. I am pretty sure my co-workers think I am insane since there is nothing even remotely funny in an accounting office!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dennis FORT PIERCE, FL, United States 12-29-15
    Dennis FORT PIERCE, FL, United States 12-29-15 Member Since 2014

    Currently a local truck driver who has hours to listen to my audio books. I am hooked, some of my fellow drivers enjoy them also

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Bill is an unlikely hero"
    If you could sum up Bill the Vampire in three words, what would they be?

    A tale of a modern near nerd who is turned and upsets the vampire world


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Bill who has a group of followers that have to try and maintain with his assistant Sally


    Which scene was your favorite?

    In the start to Bills turn was an adventure and just kept going


    If you could take any character from Bill the Vampire out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    Oh yeah Sally would be a nice date if I lived to enjoy it.


    Any additional comments?

    I look forward to reading rest of the series

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    christina 12-27-15
    christina 12-27-15 Member Since 2007
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    "So wanted to like this"

    I really really wanted to like this book. Summary seemed great. Reviews were very good. Love this genre. But I could not get past the sexist, misogynistic attitude and did not enjoy much of the crass sense of humor.

    I even tried samples of the next books hoping they would be better in this area but were not.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Isabelle Boudreau 11-24-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Great narration, so so story"

    I really wanted to like this book. It had everything going for it. It actually did have flashes of amazing storytelling but at the end of the day the incessant juvenile stereotypes, casual misogyny and constant "omg did you suck his dick hurr, hurr?" ruined it for me.
    I'm sure this will appeal to a lot of people but it's not one I'll return to or recommend.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robin LA PORTE, TX, United States 11-03-15
    Robin LA PORTE, TX, United States 11-03-15 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Absolutely Hilarious Book!!!"
    Would you listen to Bill the Vampire again? Why?

    Oh yes I'll listen to it again... as soon as I finish the available books in the series! Bill is such a "real" person and is a sarcasm master! I had to quite listening to it at work because I kept cracking up! I just couldn't help it!


    What other book might you compare Bill the Vampire to and why?

    The closest books that come close are the Good Girls & Half-Moon Hollow books by Molly Harper.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    There are just too many to count! The first chapter through the last had me hooked.


    If you could take any character from Bill the Vampire out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    Both Bill & Sally! I would love to just sit back and watch the show.


    Any additional comments?

    I found out about this author through a book thing on another site and I couldn't be happier that I took a chance on a "new to me" author! I have a feeling this is going to be one of those series that I end up owning every book in audio, e-book, and hard copies.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ben United States 09-14-15
    Ben United States 09-14-15 Member Since 2015

    Sci-fi/Fantasy fan with a library-worth of reading behind him

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Fun! Push through the beginning"

    In the beginning I was very unsure and for a few minutes thought I might return the book based on how sexist the main character came off as. Glad I stuck with it though, as the book kept me grinning and laughing throughout. Narrator was good and fun, my only complaint with him was that there were a few words he pronounced incorrectly. The two that stood out to me due to repetition were "bared fangs" being pronounced "barred" and "voila" pronounced as the name Viola. Otherwise, the book cracked me up and I'll be continuing the series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paul 08-26-15
    Paul 08-26-15

    Paul Pape Designs

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Like Buffy, with a lot more cursing"

    I can relate to Bill. He's not a sparkling model turned vampire (no spoilers, it's the title), but he could be me. A guy who works and lives a normal life who made one spur of the moment decision that changed everything. And the great thing is; He didn't become something else, he's still that same guy, just dealing with this new situation the best way a guy who shouldn't be dealing with it could. I listened to this book in two sittings, it's just that fun. Really looking forward to the rest of the series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 08-08-15
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    4
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    "interesting"
    What did you love best about Bill the Vampire?

    I like Bill ...he is normal in a gamer kinda way....he made me laugh.. really laugh


    What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

    kinda knew it was coming and there had to be "opening" for a second book... and I will get the 2nd,,,


    What aspect of Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance would you have changed?

    idk if i would of changed anything,,,


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eli Stone 06-20-15
    Eli Stone 06-20-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A perfect example of a four-star performance."

    On the surface, this is a perfectly good urban fantasy story. I like the riffs on a lot of vampire pop culture, and the protagonist is likable for the most part. But he's just a little TOO nerdy, a little TOO perverted...yes, I know he's a dateless gamer, but it kinda makes it hard to sympathize with him when he's acting like a high schooler. That, and the actor gives a performance not unlike Richard Nixon-it's interesting, but not very well-acted. Like Bill said about our food, this is salad. It's good, but it lacks some substance.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-31-15 Member Since 2015
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    "Excellent urban fantasy"

    Great narration , characters are well built and easy to get behind. realistic character reactions put this at the top of the urban fantasy list.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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