There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.
Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.
Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.
Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.
Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.
©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri
Was very hesitant to purchase this audiobook. I've been an almost daily audible listener for 2 years; for 3 years before that I would listen 4x a week minimum. All together I've been a very happy audible member for 5 years. When I buy a new audiobook it has to be in a series, and is usually compared to my favs. Basically it kills me when, after completing a really great book, I go to the audible shop & find that nothing comes after it, EVER.
When your favs are THE DRESDEN FILES, HOLLOWS SERIES, IRON DRUID CHRONICLES, MONSTER HUNTER INTERNATIONAL, THE GRIMNOIR TRILOGY, and many many more similarly amazing book series... it can be tough to find others that can meet, or even come close to touching, the high standards you've (unknowingly) set.
Bill the Vampire pleasantly surprised me! When I realized there was about 33 minutes left, immediately I went to the shop, bought book 2, and downloaded it; had to be prepared to start it right after hearing "we hope you have enjoyed this program". Give it a try; hopefully you'll find that it's funny, witty, interesting, kind of quirky, no touchy feely romance or love triangles, with a few new vampire ideas , and best of all it's about "real" vampires (that burst into flames where sunlight touches, not start to shimmer & sparkle like they fell into the glitter supply closet at an all girls tween summer camp... Hoping my lame joke shows I have no intention of offense whatsoever toward the Twilight Saga author, millions love it,
& though not my kind of thing, I respect the work).
who am I?
Definitely worth a read. The narrator has a good voice, unf, he doesn't "do voices," so all characters sound the same. I found this frustrating. I ended up reading (most of) the book on an android tablet, and imagining voices from the "Monster Hunters International" narrator (sorry, can't remember his name)
Mother of 8, grandmother of 12, RN and book nerd
Vampires, geeks, humor & great story. Characters were great too. Narrator did and awesome job. Am downloading the next two in the series as I type this. Well worth the credit or the price!
Supernatural Fan. Lifelong audiophile.
When he realized he was the bomb
It took me a couple chapters to decide if I loved or hated the book. Then I realized what I was not sure about was the "total guy point of view". Once I excepted I was listening to a dude's point of view (his smelly gym socks and all) I found myself really rooting for him. Now I am on Team Bill...that stupid lovable bastard.
Im some guy in Oshkosh, WI that walks to work and has found the joy of listening to good books and values good narrators :).
“Killing a hot chick is like clubbing a baby seal”
If your ok with that quote then you’ll enjoy the book. The book paints programmers and geek culture with a huge brush. It assumes that most of them are game playing, bros before hoes, doll (action figure) collecting, social rejects one step away from the cave. Id say they talk about women as adolescents would but that assumes that boys are born with these beliefs. Out of the men in the book not one of them shows respect for or talks highly of any women unless their referencing their appearance. Bill and his friends are all about how women look or how they can get laid by them. The book is awash in stereotypes. Misogyny might be taking it too far but its certainly something that needs to be thought about. The strongest female character in the book helps Bill acquire power and keeps him from getting killed and his attitude is one of entitlement. "What more will she do for me?". They even make fun of it, Bill assumes that the female lead was a stripper because she’s beautiful (in this book you can’t be pretty and not be a stripper or hooker). She takes offense and begins to tell him that she was pursuing her PHD before she was turned. Then while Bill is trying to come up with an apology she tells him she’s kidding and that she really was a stripper.
Im bothered by the message that books like this send. We have enough problems attracting women and girls into technology related fields without encouraging and promoting a flat out hostile environment. Its such a huge part of the story that its hard to ignore. Its one comment after another.
Now for rest of the book.. I like that Bill is snarky. He’s the kind of guy that id like to be if I was getting the crap kicked out me. Rather than whining about how painful a steel toed boot to the head is Id have a quick come back that would make the beating worth it. Thats kinda how Bill is. I laughed a bit at some of his quips listening to the book. I also like that Bill can’t keep his mouth shut about being a vampire. All his friends know and its cool that they don’t freak out about it and help him keep his secret. The narrator has a good voice for Bill as well.
A question I ask. Is this book worth listening to if the result is that it violates my own since of ethics? I donno, for now I’m going to assume that Bill is going to learn and grow. Im hopeful that he will change. As for my recommendation. There are plenty of books with awesome snarky characters out there I can recommend that don’t treat women as the next lap dancer. Look at the “Dresden Files”, or “IronDruid”, or the “Greywalker series”. They have great female characters and any of those books will be enjoyable and without the possible misogyny you’ll get here.
The story is kind of interesting, not very complicated. But I couldn't get past the attitudes of the main character. The story is told from his perspective so his rampant objectification of any and every female is on display for the entire book. For him, a woman is a thing. A collection of body parts to be possessed. The main female lead is very smart, brave, and resourceful. But all the main character thinks about is her bottom, her lips, and how annoying it is when she rolls her eyes. At one point in the book, a powerful male vampire threatens a female vampire by saying he might compel (magically) her to allow the main character to do "whatever he wants." When the male vamp says this, the main character thinks about great that would be, because then the female vampire would have no choice but to have sex with him. So... he's ok with rape.
The main character also complains about the bad attitudes, the "frat boy" mentality, a group of male vamps have towards women but he is just as bad.
The author seems believe that because the main character is a nerd/geek who plays D&D and video games, programs for a living, and lives with two other really nerdy men, that he must also objectify women and see them only as objects for sex. And the character never evolves. Despite being exposed to to a strong-willed smart female who can and does kick him around several times. He doesn't change his attitude at all, just keeps all his smarmy thoughts to himself out of fear the lady will hit him.
I don't know who the author has been hanging out with, but this characterization of nerdy guys as incapable of recognizing a woman is a person and not a moving sex doll is giving nerdy guys a really bad name. And the rape thing really bothered me.
This is a great series. It is full of laughs, and thrills. I absolutely recommend it. It certainly isn't your typical vampire book. The humor is the best part.
The Momster, in ALL my glory.
A less douchey guy who wasn't a misogynistic a-hole. Women who weren't basically fantasy sheroes all but clad in a scrap of leather and some metal. A better antagonist that wasn't so obvious.
Honestly, this entire book was difficult for me to finish. It has taken me months to work my way through it. The main character is more than offensive, he's slimy offensive, oily, sneaky, and just plain gross.
It just felt like a pi$$ ing contest between all the men. THey all but thumped their chests. If not being giant blood sucking apes, then they were busy reducing all the women to boobs and butts.
Nothing. He was fine.
Not really. Could really have been an interesting take on the whole vampire idea, but Bill is so unlikeable I couldn't get past him.
found this book by accident, I honestly don't know why I listened to the sample. as soon as it started I New it was going to be good. great story, plot, characters, and humor. probably a new favorite series.
Report Inappropriate Content
If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.