After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
"Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award"
You are reading this on a screen. You have First World Problems. First World Problems: 101 Reasons Why The Terrorists Hate Us is a collection of short humorous essays and rants from a man who knows suffering. It is comedy that borders on tragedy. What are First World Problems? A First World Problem is a trivial issue that afflicts people in wealthier nations declared to be in the "First World".
"Laughed Out Loud (over & over again)"
The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.
"I am now Zombie Proof"
Fans of the #1 bests eller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe."
"The Dad is side-splitting funny"
Four decades after it first shook the nation, then the world, William Peter Blatty's thrilling masterwork of faith and demonic possession returns in an even more powerful form. Raw and profane, shocking and blood-chilling, it remains a modern parable of good and evil and perhaps the most terrifying novel ever written.
The world of man was brought to its knees with the zombie apocalypse. A hundred and fifty years have passed since man clawed and climbed his way back from the brink of extinction. Civilization has rebooted, man has begun to rebuild, creating new communities and society. It is on this fragile new shaky ground that a threat worse than the scourge of the dead has sprung... Once again, one man finds himself once thrust into the forefront of a war he wants nothing to do with and seemingly cannot win.
"Loved it! Mike Talbot Returns!!!"
An insider exposes the shocking facts deliberately left out of the hit Netflix series Making a Murderer - and argues persuasively that Steven Avery was rightfully convicted in the 2005 killing of Teresa Halbach.
"I rarely rate books but this needed a rating."
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
"Enjoyable if you manage your expectations"
For his whole life, the boy has lived underground, in a basement with his parents, grandmother, sister, and brother. Before he was born, his family was disfigured by a fire. His sister wears a white mask to cover her burns. He spends his hours with his cactus, reading his book on insects, or touching the one ray of sunlight that filters in through a crack in the ceiling. Ever since his sister had a baby, everyone's been acting very strangely.
At Butler House a series of grisly murders over a century have led many to believe it's haunted. To one scientist it's the perfect place for an experiment in fear. Eight people, each chosen because they lived through a terrifying experience, are offered a million dollars to spend one night at Butler House. They can take whatever they want with them - religious items, survival gear, and weapons. All they need to do is last the night.
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"Funny as Sin"
When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
"jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim"
Who Goes There?, the novella that formed the basis of the film The Thing, is the John W. Campbell classic about an antarctic research camp that discovers and thaws the ancient body of a crash-landed alien.
"An Absolute Classic!"
This is not the story of preppers with stockpiles of food, weapons, and a hidden bunker. This is the story of Colton Ryman, his stay-at-home wife, Madison, and their teenage daughter, Alex. In 36 Hours, the Ryman family and the rest of the world will be thrust into the darkness of a post-apocalyptic world.
"BEANS, BAND-AIDES AND BULLETS"
Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to buy the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor.
"One Of The Most Enjoyable Books I Have Ever Heard"
The secret of having an adventure is getting lost. Who ever visited an enchanted kingdom or fell into a fairy tale without wandering into the woods first? Well, Mary is lost. Mary is lost in the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and that is a cruel and murderous story. She's put on the red hood and met the wolf. When she gives in to her wolf's temptations, she will die.
"Best story I've ever read or heard"
Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.
"Entertaining. What I expected"
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world.
"Stories are great, not crazy about the format"
Hate cute stories? Hate happy endings? Hate children? Not quite right in the head? If so, this deliciously twisted storybook is dedicated just to you.
©2011 Antoinette Bergin (P)2012 Antoinette Bergin
"just not that good"
The potential to be very clever was lost early on. Not particularly interesting or funny.
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