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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman | [Ian Kerner]

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue.
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Publisher's Summary

As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue.

Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay: simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response.

Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual.

She Comes First exuberantly offers a fresh new sexual philosophy that inspires every man to make a mantra of Rhett Butler's infamous line to Scarlett O'Hara, "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

For Adults Only: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.

Find out what else is on Ian Kerner's mind in this interview with the author.

©2004 Ian Kerner; (P)2005 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"An entire book written strictly for the pleasure of women by a man. Hallelujah!" (Playgirl)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.6 (988 )
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3.7 (328 )
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3.5 (337 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Cory 07-11-11
    Cory 07-11-11

    Cory Simpson

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    "Horribly Narrated"

    I am having a hard time getting even an hour into this book. The narrator sounds like a guy who has never been laid in his life, and constantly smacks into the microphone. Getting sexual advice for this guy is like getting tax advice from Joe Francis.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    R. Maloney New Hampshire 12-29-06
    R. Maloney New Hampshire 12-29-06 Member Since 2003
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    "Wow"

    Every 21 year old male should be forced to read this before moving on into the best years of their lives. Where was this when I needed it and thank god I found it before it was too late

    5 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert 10-29-06
    Robert 10-29-06
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    "Informative w/o pretense"

    Although this author is long winded and quotes from a lack of his own sense of literary style, he attempts an honest and effective address of a subject he appears confident and competent about. Obviously has an appreciation and respect for the subject matter. This work is a rarity because it lacks pretensive boasting and slong measuring making it a treasure for the library and a important work for us less informed folk.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    05-02-06
    05-02-06 Listener Since 2003
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    "Learn and perform!"

    Dr. Ian has done men a great favor in putting together a clear, easy to follow guide to orally pleasuring a woman. Surprisingly, I even found his clinical descriptive definitions of ten parts of a woman's genitals very helpful. Its very comforting to finally know "what's what" down there. I continue to replay and review the terminology and incorporate his "core-play" techniques with great results. This is a skill that's great to have!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Guy IN, IN, USA 06-27-05
    Guy IN, IN, USA 06-27-05
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    "Not viewed as a"

    I was a 42 year old "virgin" to oral sex. I listened to this book and even told my girlfriend about it. She dismissed it as hooy. Then I actually mustered the courage to try it out on her and she called me a liar. She said there is no way I could have learned what I did to her from a book. We are now listening to it together and having a very enjoyable time. Thanks, Ian, for wrighting such a helpful book.

    5 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Carey A Upland, CA, USA 11-06-07
    Carey A Upland, CA, USA 11-06-07
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    "Everyone can learn something."

    Just when you thought I knew it all... I found this book to be well written and tasteful (no pun intended). The author did a good job of presenting the subject matter in a very straightforward and easy to understand way. I learned things about the female anatomy that I had never heard of before and other things became clearer. I would recommend this title to those in a monogamous and secure relationship that want to improve their intimacy. Well done treatise of a delicate and not much talked about subject. I have tried some of the techniques and found them to be very useful.

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jerm'n va 12-08-12
    Jerm'n va 12-08-12

    jj

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    "Should have known better..."
    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from She Comes First?

    If you cut the first two hours I may have given it two stars... Maybe three if I was feeling generous.


    Any additional comments?

    If you're interested in a history of the female orgasm and a lesson in anatomy (written with flowery language and self congratulatory juvenile wit* repeated ad nauseum) you've found your book. If you're looking for practical pointers?... Look elsewhere.

    *See the cover for an idea of what you'll be treated to throughout.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bram Dallas, TX 06-11-11
    Bram Dallas, TX 06-11-11
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    "Not quite what I expected...."

    I purchased this audio after learning about the author in the byline of an article he had written in the past that I really got some benefit out of. This book is great if and only if you are looking to learn ONE thing, and that's how to be pretty darned good at pleasing your spouse (or any other willing woman I guess) with your tongue and fingers, etc.

    It seems that the author has something against vaginal intercourse, and this comes through in his writing. My take away is that he considers intercourse as secondary to cunnilingus, and this book focuses entirely on the latter, and almost seems to downplay the enjoyment a woman is able to get from intercourse. My wife, although not someone who generally enjoys oral over actual intercourse, requires penetration to orgasm even when she gets "revved up" by oral sex.

    Ladies, if you like receiving great oral, buy this audiobook for your man. Guys, if you like giving it and your lady does too, get the book. It has a wealth of information, probably more than most textbooks on female anatomy. It's pretty clear the author has done his homework in that department.

    Actual "case studies" I'm not so sure about. There is definitely a slant, and the author seems intent on making cunnilingus the norm as the primary source of sexual pleasure for a woman. He may correct in that most women can get off easier using these techniques than via penetration, it just doesn't apply too much to my particular relationship.

    He's passionate about the subject though. I've gotta give him that!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael Meridian, ID, United States 02-06-09
    Michael Meridian, ID, United States 02-06-09
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    "Loved it!"

    Great detailed reference, for one of my favorite passtimes. Lots of good tips, for us guys who want to increase our skills in this area, for HER pleasure!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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    Bryan Allentown, PA, USA 08-02-08
    Bryan Allentown, PA, USA 08-02-08
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    "Thorough, but long"

    The author is very thorough, and while not clinical it has a textbook flavor. Good geography lessons. He borrows from Paget's book, too. Don't need both books, as they are effectively very similar.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
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